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Family Guy Season 7 Episodes
Season 7 Episode Guide
16 Episodes 2008 - 2009
Episode 1
Love Blactually
Sun, Sep 28, 200822 mins
Stewie convinces Brian to take it slow with his new girlfriend, but she becomes impatient and hooks up with Cleveland. Brian then tries to get Cleveland back together with his ex-wife Loretta to get him out of the picture.
Episode 2
I Dream of Jesus
Sun, Oct 5, 200822 mins
The Griffins visit a 50s-style diner, where the wait staff dress as celebrities from that decade. Peter hears his favorite song, "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen, on the jukebox and begins dancing and acting stupid. When one of the employees removes the record from the jukebox - the song came out in late 1963, nearly four years after the end of the 1950s decade - Peter buys the record, takes it home and plays it endlessly. He winds up driving everyone crazy with his obsessive fixation on the song; Chris is driven to the brink, while Lois is appalled when she gets a call from the bank stating that Peter had withdrawn most of their savings account (to produce an insipid public service announcement built around "Surfin' Bird"). Eventually, Brian and Stewie decide they need to take action and, in the middle of the night, team up to steal the record. The next morning, Peter realizes the record is missing and sets out to buy another copy, only to find that "a dog and a baby" have already scoured Quahog's used record stores and bought every last copy of "Surfin' Bird" (to destroy them). Initially, Peter is upset at his inability to buy a new copy, but then settles down and realizes the clerk at one of the stores looks familiar ... namely, like Jesus Christ. The clerk initially denies this claim, but then admits he is the Messiah. Jesus tells Peter he comes to Earth every century or so to unwind but that he must remain incognito. That doesn't discourage Peter, who invites him over to dinner. The Griffins immediately recognize who their visitor is, and Jesus decides he needs to make his identity public. When Jesus walks on the water surface of a fountain to retrieve a dollar bill Peter had lost, everyone is amazed, and Jesus becomes a celebrity at once. Eventually, Jesus becomes obsessed with his fame and neglects his relationship with Peter. But when Jesus gets arrested, it is Peter who bails him out. Jesus muses that he wasn't ready to return to Earth and decides to leave, but Peter reassures him that someday he will be ready. Just before Jesus departs the Earth, he gives Peter a present: a new copy of "Surfin' Bird."
Episode 3
Road to Germany
Sun, Oct 19, 200830 mins
Stewie and Brian use a time machine to go back to Nazi-era Poland and rescue Mort.
Episode 4
Baby Not on Board
Sun, Nov 2, 200830 mins
While on duty at the Mini-Mart, Chris asks Peter for some advice about his sexuality, but Peter - ignoring the fact that his son has asked him a question - decides that he is being sexually harassed and threatens to sue. The store owner responds by giving Peter a coupon redeemable for free gasoline for a year. Lois decides that the family should go on a vacation to Grand Canyon. As the Griffins are packing up to leave, a sleep-famished Stewie wanders from his car seat and goes into the house to sleep. Everyone fails to notice that Stewie is not in the car - he has been left home alone. As the other Griffins partake in road-trip activities - such as singing Bette Midler's "The Rose" and engaging with Glenn in a road rage incident - Stewie frolics around the house, doing whatever he pleases. When the Griffins arrive at the site of the 9/11 attacks in New York City, Lois finally sees that Stewie is not in the car and must have been left behind at home. Lois calls Quagmire and Cleveland to go check on Stewie, but Stewie mistakes them (at first) for burglars and subdues them; when he discovers who his victims are, Stewie decides to shackle them anyway in the basement ... then make them watch the 24-hour DirecTV Help channel. Stewie then eats all the food in the house and, lacking money to buy more food, gets a job at McBurger Town; his job is short-lived, however, when his boss discovers he tried to eat free food on the job. When Lois doesn't hear back from Quamire or Cleveland, she insists that Peter drive home to get Stewie. On the way home, Peter - while driving - is distracted by a television screen in a passing vehicle and (somehow) sneaks into that car to watch the movie; as a result, the Griffins car runs off the road. The Griffins try to buy train tickets to get home, but when Peter wastes their remaining money on useless items, Lois becomes very angry. As she and Peter get into a huge argument, Brian is able to hitch a ride with a motorist, and the Griffins arrive home safely to reunite with Stewie. However, Peter is unable to find Quagmire or Cleveland, who are still trapped in the basement and ... by now, are reciting trance-like the entire spiel as aired on DirecTV's help network. In the closing seconds, Cleveland remarks about the upcoming spin off built around his character, "The Cleveland Show" (which is scheduled to premiere on Fox in 2009).
Episode 5
The Man with Two Brians
Sun, Nov 9, 200830 mins
Peter gets the Griffins a new, younger dog to eventually replace an aging Brian.
Episode 6
Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
Sun, Nov 16, 200822 mins
Peter is bored at work one day and decides to use the "executive bathroom." When he learns the lavish washroom is reserved only for company executives, Peter decides to do well at work so he can get an executive's job when it opens up. In the process, he accidentally blows up a children's hospital, killing everyone inside. Still, Angela is impressed enough to recommend him for an opening ... until the human resources department points out that Peter never completed the third grade. Peter decides to go back to elementary school, where he continually acts like a buffoon and insults the teacher and his classmates. Later, despite his poor academic skills, he is picked to participate in the school spelling bee. After doing badly, he spells "lesbians" correctly (after the class brain falters) and is allowed to pass. Alas, when he returns to the brewery, there is no job waiting for Peter ... only an arrest warrant for blowing up the children's hospital. Peter is sent to prison ... but only until 9 p.m. the next Sunday (the regularly scheduled time for "Family Guy"). Meanwhile, Frank Sinatra Jr. returns to town for an engagement with Brian at the Quahog Cabana Club, but it is clear that nobody is into big band and swing music anymore. Frank and Brian buy the club and, on Stewie's recommendation, renovate it into a trendy nightclub called pLace. The club does very well, and the more conservative Frank and Brian even become accustomed to the nightlife ... that is, until Andy Dick arrives and runs everyone off!
Episode 7
Ocean's Three and a Half
Sun, Feb 15, 200930 mins
The guys try to help Joe and Bonnie get money for their hospital bill after their baby is born after seven year of Bonnie being pregnant, a baby who Stewie develops a crush on.
Episode 8
Family Gay
Sun, Mar 8, 200930 mins
Peter volunteers to be a subject for medical experiments in order to pay for damages at the horse track after entering a brain damaged horse to participate in the race. Peter tries out an experimental drug, that turns him gay, much to the dismay of Lois and the family. Peter's newfound persona makes him become a better family man such as helping out around the house. Lois begins to miss having intimacy with Peter. Brian and Stewie have Peter sent to a straight camp to get him back to normal, with very little result. Peter's gay gene soon wears off and he is reverted back to his normal self. At home, Peter and his family agree not to speak about the incident again. Mort throws the deceased brain damaged horse back into the Griffin house.
Episode 9
The Juice Is Loose!
Sun, Mar 15, 200930 mins
Everyone is up in arms after Peter becomes friends with O.J. Simpson.
Episode 10
FOX-y Lady
Sun, Mar 22, 200930 mins
Lois becomes a Fox News anchor; Peter and Chris try to sell a cartoon pilot to the Fox network.
Episode 11
Not All Dogs Go to Heaven
Sun, Mar 29, 200922 mins
Meg ends up getting infected with the mumps after visiting a Star Trek convention. Meg is put on bed rest and she watches a religious show starring Kirk Cameron and she becomes a devoted Christian. But Meg learns that Brian is an Atheist, she tries to convert Brian. Meg tells the media about Brian being an Atheist, causing everyone to turn against him. Brian pretends to accept god as his savior so he can get alcohol, but he witnesses Meg and all of the Christian fanatics participating in a book burning. Brian is able to set Meg straight and she realizes how her fanaticism has caused a lot of problems. Meanwhile, Stewie builds a transporter from blue prints he got at the convention and transports the cast members of Star Trek: The Next Generation, in hopes of hanging out with them and asking them questions. But the cast's unreasonable demands and childish antics start to get on Stewie's nerves.
Episode 12
420
Sun, Apr 19, 200922 mins
Brian decides to legalize marijuana after being arrested for possession. Brian succeeds in getting pot legalized, but everyone ends up being mellowed out. Carter learns that he is losing money following Brain's campaign to legalize pot and he enlists Peter to make pot illegal again. Carter decides to publish one of Brian's books and he reluctantly agrees to make pot illegal again. However, due to pot being illegal again, none of Brain's books get sold. Meanwhile, Quagmire takes in a stray cat but Peter ends up killing the cat by accident after Quagmire goes to Vermont to get his cat a birthday present. When Quagmire believes that his cat is missing, he offers a reward to Peter on finding his missing cat, but Peter confesses to Quagmire that he killed his cat and he claims the reward money.
Episode 13
Stew-Roids
Sun, Apr 26, 200930 mins
When Peter takes Stewie to the gym to learn weightlifting (after Stewie loses a fight with young Susie Swanson), he allows an unscrupulous trainer to inject Stewie with steroids. Stewie - a mini-muscle man - asserts himself to Brian after the dog warns him about the ill effects of steroids. Meanwhile, Connie D'Amico learns what it is like to walk in Meg's shoes after she asks Chris out (intending it to be a short-lived relationship), the relationship actually goes somewhere then, at a party at the Griffins (where Meg is not invited), Chris breaks up with Connie to date two other girls.
Episode 14
We Love You Conrad
Sun, May 3, 200930 mins
Brian dates "Hills" star Lauren Conrad while trying to hide the fact that he is in love with someone else.
Episode 15
Three Kings
Sat, May 16, 200930 mins
Peter reads the Stephen King books Stand by Me, Misery, and The Shawshank Redemption.
Episode 16
Peter's Progress
Sun, May 17, 200930 mins
The story of Griffin Peterson and the founding of Quahog.
