Question: Hey, Scoop Nazi, can I have a bowl of 24 prattle?Answer: I don't have an entire bowl, but I've got a spoonful. Milo has a brother, and we'll meet him in this season's 23rd hour when he pops into CTU to offer his brother a sympathetic ear.
Question: Any good Heroes scoop? The break is killing me.Answer: Yeah, I've got something, but I'm gonna take a page from Ryan Seacrest's bag of tricks and delay the big reveal until the end of the show.
Question: Do you have any Sopranos scoop, pretty please with a cannoli on top?Answer: Someone gets whacked in the premiere, but it's who does the whacking — not who gets whacked — that'll have watercoolers bubbling.
Question: In last week's Ask Ausiello you said that Lorelai was going to go with Christopher to Rory's graduation and that they were dating again. This was just a joke, right?Answer: For crike's sake, yes! And it was funny, damn it!
Question: I know you hate the Izzie-George hookup, but you have to admit, that scene between them in the closet was perfection.Answer: Yeah, that much I'll give ya.
Question: Please, please, please tell me that Izzie is on the pill.Answer: Do I look like her personal pharmacist to you? Do I?! But while we're on the subject of contraceptives, before the season is over, one character will discover that she has no need for 'em — and hasn't for some time. (Any self-respecting member of AA should know exactly who I'm referring to.)
Question: You are so funny, you should have your own show!Answer: What a great idea! In totally unrelated news, check this out!
Question: I see 30 Rock is scheduled to return on April 5, which I believe means it's coming back from hiatus early. True?Answer: Yes, it's coming back a whole two weeks early, and the episode is high-sterical. There's a dream sequence involving Maury Povich and Alec Baldwin that will have you howling. And you haven't lived until you've seen Will Arnett seducing Kenneth the page in nothing but a mini-robe.
Question: Is your blind item about The New Adventures of Old Christine?Answer: No, but that show is in deep doo-doo, too. Two days after Julia Louis-Dreyfus declared it a "big fat hit" on SNL, the show sank to its lowest ratings ever. The only good news is that I hear NBC is interested in picking it up if CBS drops it. Hey, I've got an idea: NBC should offer them Medium in exchange for Christine, that way everyone's happy!
Question: Can you please give us some scoop on One Tree Hill? Answer: I just received a fresh batch of intel, but I can't attest to its news value since, well, as you know, the show is my kryptonite. Per my Tree mole, some dude named Chris Keller will return in the most unexpected way when the show comes back on May 9. (Is that big? Sounds big.) And the witness to Dan's murder is apparently not who anyone expected it to be. Furthermore, my spy told me to tease that we have not seen the last of two of this season's biggest problems: One is a person and the other is a situation. And both will — oooh, this sounds juicy — come back to bite a pair of exes in the butt by the time everyone comes back from Texas. This stuff actually sounds pretty good. Maybe I'll give this One Tree Hill program a second chance... not!
Question: You are my favorite person. Ever.Answer: Are you still going to feel that way after I tell you I'm heading to Mexico for a week? (Translation: The April 4 AA will probably be a rerun.)
Question: Did you know that How I Met Your Mother airs Mondays at 8pm/ET on CBS?! And that the most recent episodes are online for free at CBS.com? And the first-season DVD is in stores now?Answer: I did know all of that, but thanks for the recap, Random, er, Rob!
Question: Any Brothers & Sisters scoop?Answer: You think Rebecca's the black sheep of the family now? Just wait until late April when an explosive secret concerning her and a fellow Walker is revealed. Personally, I can't believe Baitz and Berlanti are going there, but I love that they are.
Question: Last Thursday, I sat through another eye-gouging episode of October Road. I gave the show another chance, but it just got worse. Please reward me by giving me Gilmore Girls juice about Luke and Lorelai.Answer: Wait a sec: You want me to reward you for giving a second chance to a show that I explicitly (and repeatedly) warned you sucked more than the worst episode of Models Inc.? Fair enough. Now, about that request for Luke and Lorelai juice, I've got good news and bad news. Let's take care of the bad news first: Due to a last-minute change of plans, Lauren Graham is no longer singing ABBA's "Fernando" in the May 1 episode. Now for the good news: She's singing Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" instead. And now for the even better news: She sings it to someone specific — and it's not Rory. Ready. Set. Squeal!
Question: Last week's Lost was amazing. Any scoop on what's coming next?Answer: OK, can we just talk about the genius that was Terry O'Quinn's performance in those hospital scenes? The look on Locke's face when he was being lowered into the wheelchair for the first time was beyond heartbreaking. And regarding that humdinger of an ending, WTF!? I'm dying to see where Darlton (that's Damon and Carlton) go with that. Unfortunately we won't find out tonight, since Locke's reunion with Pops is only "obliquely referred to," according to Michael Emerson. (For more from Emerson, check out today's scoopy Q&A!)
Question: Do you know what Linderman's special power is on Heroes?Answer: You know what show I miss, Dan? Carnivale. That Ben Hawkins was one fascinating dude. Oh, the things he could do with his mind.... That's a wrap, folks. Head on over to the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread to debate the merits of this week's AA, check out the latest installment of my Ausiello Report vodcast for exclusive scoop on Gilmore Girls and the enhanced two-hour Grey's Anatomy episode with a potential for afterlife (last time, C.J., I swear!), send questions/tips/Smurf sightings to askausiello@tvguide.com, and keep close tabs on the
Question: As one of the few supporters of Team Gizzie on Grey's Anatomy, is there any hope? I'm sick of Callie!Answer: Yes, it appears there's a glimmer of hope. Sigh….
Question: Was wondering why you haven't had any spoilers on the best new drama on TV, Shark?Answer: Mostly because there's been very little demand for them. And not too much supply, either, until this tip came in last week: Sherry Stringfield is guest-starring later this season as a cutthroat defense attorney who has a history with Stark.
Question: Biblical plagues upon you, Michael Ausiello, if you don't tell us more about the pregnancy on SVU!Answer: Actually, I checked with Dick Wolf God, and he's cool with me keeping my big trap shut. Nice try, though.
Question: How come after watching last week's Ausiello Report vodcast, I got a sudden urge to watch Friday Night Lights while drinking Diet Raspberry Snapple and playing with Smurf figurines?Answer: Because the transcript I posted at the end of the episode was filled with subliminal messages.
Question: Why is Goran Visnjic leaving ER?Answer: To make motion pictures, of course! And rumor has it he's got a big one lined up. Bond producers are reportedly eyeing him to play the big baddie in the next 007 flick. And if you're wondering how Kovac will be written off ER, your first clue will come in Episode 20 when he *e*i*ns as *h**f.
Question: Just saw your Gilmore Girls scoop on the vodcast — say it ain't so!Answer: It's so. Sorry. I'd offer to give you a hug, but I have intimacy issues. If it makes you feel any better, the stuff leading up to the five-letter word that starts with "S" and ends with "T" sounds really good, in a bittersweet way.