michael.ausiello

Question: Hey Mike, still ...

Question: Hey Mike, still waiting on that scoop regarding That '70s Show. Don't leave me hanging, buddy!  Vasti Ausiello: The scoop is this: While it's true that Topher and Ashton will not be series regulars next season, that doesn't mean we've seen the last of Eric and Kelso. My Show mole tells me Topher will be back in May '06 for the show's expected series finale, while Ashton is currently in talks to make sporadic appearances throughout the season. Now, here's some spoilage on how '70s producers plan to explain Topher's MIA status: Eric will take a teaching job in Africa in next month's season finale. Kelso's vanishing act, meanwhile, will be explained in the fall  without, ironically enough, Ashton himself.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Got any scoop on ...

Question: Got any scoop on how That '70s Show is going to write out Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace?  Vasti Ausiello: Yes, but I'm gonna pull a Seacrest and withhold the big reveal until the end of the show. Research is showing that some of you have been flipping over to TV Tech during the first commercial break.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Has there been any ...

Question: Has there been any word on whether or not Soapnet will buy the rights to air Santa Barbara?  Tanya Ausiello: I pester them about this at least once a month, and every time I get the same icy response: "No, sorry." Rumor has it the show's hit-rich soundtrack is rendering the whole thing cost-prohibitive for the fledgling suds network. I'm thisclose to buying the whole damn library myself and hosting a Santa Barbara Festival in New York City's Bryant Park this summer.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Now that Lost is ...

Question: Now that Lost is expanding its season finale to two hours (Ask Ausiello 3/30), what does this mean for Alias? Don't tell me now that they finally got Lena Olin back, they have to cut down her episode to an hour?  Aaron Barker Ausiello: Good news, Aaron. An ABC rep confirms that Episodes 21 and 22  which originally were going to be combined into one 90-minute finale  will air as separate one-hour episodes on May 18 and May 25. As a result, it appears Irina's one-episode stint has now turned into two. I can only imagine what that's going to do to Ms. Olin's asking price.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: First off, I have ...

Question: First off, I have to say the end of Third Watch is a sad, sad thing. Any news on the series finale? I read somewhere that someone dies  do you know who?  Brittany Ausiello: Yes, someone will make the ultimate sacrifice, but executive producer Ed Bernero is confident "everyone will agree that it's the person that should." The big news, however, is that Bernero has recruited some of the show's most popular alums  Eddie Cibrian, 24's Kim Raver, Aidan Quinn, among others  for the May 6 swan song. "The last act of the episode is going to be a look into the future," Bernero reveals. "We're going to see how everybody ends up." Here's a tip: Two main characters will end up husband and wife.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Is FX going to make ...

Question: Is FX going to make Rescue Me clean up its language this season?  Matt Roush Ausiello: Hardly. In fact, I hear exec producers Denis Leary and Peter Tolan plan to spend an entire episode debating the merits of a certain four-letter word that rhymes with swat. I say "plan" because I don't think they've told FX yet.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: If they decide not ...

Question: If they decide not to bring Carniv&#224le back for a third full season, what would be the chance of a two-hour movie just to wrap things up a little better? I mean, we've potentially got Sophie and Justin teamed up out there wreaking havoc and surely Ben will have to finish them off for good.  Steve Ausiello: Not a chance, according to Daniel Knauf. "It wouldn't work [as a two-hour movie]," he says, "because we're only a third of the way through our story. I had said at the beginning that we couldn't do it in any less than three seasons or any more than six. I had always envisioned the story as three books. I knew if I crushed things I could do it in three, but we didn't. We decided from the outset not to crush it and tell the stories the way they should be told  which is in three two-season cycles. That decision had to be made early on and that's the way we went." That said, Kanuf believes that Carniv&#224le's remaining "three book

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: I'm a famous person ...

Question: I'm a famous person and I'm reading your column.  Anonymous Ausiello: Prove it, ya big wimp.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: You've done it. ...

Question: You've done it. You've succeeded. I can no longer see or hear about Smurfs without thinking of you. I've been watching Angel (Season 5) on DVD and there was a reference to Smurfs. Of course, you popped into my head immediately. Do you recall what it was? If not, I'll tell you next week.  Tanya D. Ausiello: No, I don't recall  spill!

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: How come Marg ...

Question: How come Marg Helgenberger's kiss with Brad Johnson on CSI doesn't count as a "real" kiss?  Caroline Ausiello: No tongue.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Keri Russell! Now ...

Question: Keri Russell! Now that I have your attention, is there any indication as to whether Joan of Arcadia is coming back next year?  Rick Collarini Ausiello: No fair, you tricked me into reading a question about Joan of Arcadia! Sadly, I think God's next assignment for Amber Tamblyn is gonna involve finding a new gig.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Please tell me that ...

Question: Please tell me that the Rescue Me death you alluded to last week is just the metaphoric death. I love the show and don't want to see anyone go.  John Ausiello: It's a real death  rigor mortis, maggots and all.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Do you have any ...

Question: Do you have any "insider info" on what the heck is going on with Paula Abdul? I swear on a stack of Diet Raspberry Snapples that this woman is on some serious Jesus Juice. What's the word, Mikey?  Gina Ausiello: I suspect the word is toomuchXanaxandbooze.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: I just want to tell ...

Question: I just want to tell you I think you're hilarious. Whenever I read your column I can't help but smile, if not laugh right out loud. My question is this: How many more seasons do you think Gilmore Girls will stay on and how would you like to see it end when it does? Thanks; you're the best!  Shay Ausiello: Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel are under contract for two more seasons, which, coincidentally, would carry the show right through Rory's Yalie graduation in May '07. Personally, I can't think of a more appropriate way to end this show  and Amy Sherman-Palladino apparently agrees with me. "I always thought the show should at least go through Rory's college graduation," she told me last month during my set visit. She also confirmed reports that she has already plotted Gilmore's final scene, right down to the last two lines. "One line is Lorelai's," she teased, "and one line is Rory's."

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: How come boyfriends ...

Question: How come boyfriends Lynn and Alex were the only team to come in first on a leg of The Amazing Race and not win a dream vacation?  Eric Ausiello: I was wondering the same thing! But before I could tell my assistant, "Fetch me an ice-cold Snapple and, when you're done with that, get GLAAD on the phone!", the Philiminator went and denied pit-stop victors Ron and Kelly a trip to Europe last week. "Not every first-place team wins a prize," a CBS rep gently reminds me, adding, "The prize distribution is predetermined."

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Is Dean going to be ...

Question: Is Dean going to be back on Gilmore Girls this season? Please say yes!  Meeko Ausiello: A WB spokesperson insists that "Dean is not returning this season"  despite the fact that he's currently being featured in promos for the April 19 episode. Methinks someone over there has been hitting the Jesus Juice a little too hard, no? Long story short: Yes, he'll be back.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Thank you for the ...

Question: Thank you for the Gilmore Girls cover story. I loved the gorgeous(!) picture of Luke, Lorelai, Logan and Rory on the opening spread. I'd hug you if I could.  GL Ausiello: Isn't that picture fantastic?! I'm gonna see if the art department can print me out a nice color final to hang on the wall of my cubicle. It'll look great next to the handy list of synonyms for "scoop" and "dish" our copy editor, Kerri Griffith, forced on me last week.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Besides planting ...

Question: Besides planting questions and slapping fake names on them, what else is beneath the dignity of this column (Ask Ausiello 3/30)?  Jason Ausiello: Planting questions and slapping the names of fellow TV Guide staffers on them.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Not sure I rank, ...

Question: Not sure I rank, but I do enjoy reading your column.  Peter Gallagher Ausiello: No one takes this column seriously. Sigh...

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: C'mon, man. Last ...

Question: C'mon, man. Last week there was very little information on Lost, 24 or The O.C. In fact, nothing. Can't you give us some spoilers or something?  Sean Ausiello: Here's some scoop, er, buzz on 24: As Mary Lynn Rajskub hinted to AA last month, Chloe will go out into the field in Episode 19 and be forced to use a gun for the first time. And something will happen in the season finale that my 24 mole says "will change the show forever." Short of whacking Jack, I'm not sure what they could do to top blowing up the president of the United States. But I can't wait to find out!

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: I want to buy the ...

Question: I want to buy the new issue of TV Guide magazine with Gilmore Girls on the cover, but I live in Australia. Help!  Carla Ausiello: I normally don't do this sort of thing, Carla, but I'll go ahead and process your order myself. Let's see... A single copy of TV Guide magazine sets you back $2.79 U.S.  $5.58 U.S. assuming you want both the Lorelai/Luke and Rory/Logan covers. After factoring in current exchange rates, shipping costs and a small handling fee, your total comes to $265 Australian. Go ahead and place the cash in an envelope and mail it to TV Guide's New York offices, attention Michael Ausiello. Because apparently, I have to do everything around here.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Question: Can you tell me ...

Question: Can you tell me when the Gilmore Girls season finale is? My friends and I are planning a party and we need to order the invitations! Thanks!  Christa Ausiello: It's May 17, Christa. Are you gonna have a press line at this shindig? If so, fax me a celeb tip sheet ASAP and I'll see about assigning a reporter to cover it.

Wed, Apr 6, 2005

Wed, Apr 6, 2005