Question: Spill some dirt on Prison Break!Answer: (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) Look for a full-scale riot to break out in Fox River State Pen after an inmate sabotages the jail's air-conditioning system. Now let's see: Who would benefit most from such a gargantuan distraction? Perhaps someone trying to dig a Shawshank-size hole in his cell? I'm just saying.
Question: So, I've heard that Alias is killing off Vaughn, and Weiss is also leaving. Are they insane? That is a terrible plan. Is it true?Answer: Again, can't comment on Vartan/Vaughn, but I can discuss Weiss. As I first reported last week, Greg Grunberg has signed an overall deal with NBC that calls for him to headline the mid-season comedy Grand Union. He'll play a family man who manages a Long Island grocery store. And get this: Grunberg heard that the pilot was a go just hours after shooting his last scene on Alias. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Question: With Jack & Bobby gone, is Greg Berlanti back working on Everwood full-time, or is Rina Mimoun still running the show?Answer: According to Rina, "Greg oversees the show. It's his baby. He'll never let it go. He's always been fairly involved in terms of overseeing the production, and I work really closely with him. [But] he is moving on to bigger and better things. It's exciting to be Greg right now." Loosely translated, methinks Rina's still running the show.
Question: Have any CSI gossip to brighten my hump day?Answer: (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) Word has it that Nick's buried-alive case may be far from closed. And there may or may not be a telltale clue in the tape recording Gordon made in the finale. If you've still got it saved on your TiVo, go play it back and e-mail me your theories at once!
Question: Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Did you do anything fun, such as find out what is going on with Scrubs?Answer: Actually, I had to go to Philadelphia to intercept my brother at the hospital, where he underwent surgery to remove "three golf-ball-size hemorrhoids" from his hindquarters. (I put "three golf-ball-size hemorrhoids" in quotes to make you think that was an official diagnosis when, in reality, it was just me being funny.)
Question: Another vacation? Didn't you just come back from one? Man, I sure would love to have your job!Answer: According to my calendar, I haven't taken a vacation since, um, April! Are you perhaps referring to the two-week hiatus AA went on in July? If so, let me remind you that I was in Los Angeles covering a little beast called the semiannual TCA press tour — hardly a vacation. Unless you consider spending 15 days at a four-star hotel, attending wall-to-wall parties and participating in one swag orgy after another a vacation.
Question: So in your last AA column, you said you were going to try to talk to Joss Whedon about writing an episode of Veronica Mars? Did you get in touch somehow? What say he?Answer: Yes, and here's the response he gave me via e-mail: "I think they are doing fine without me." Well, let's face it, they are.
Question: I found a website that turns names into Smurf names: I entered your name and it gave your Smurf name as "Erectile Dysfunction Smurf." I'm sorry.Answer: Not as sorry as I am for you, "Full Monty Smurf."
Question: Please tell me you're kidding. You have never heard of R. Lee Ermey (Ask Ausiello 8/30)? Full Metal Jacket? Apocalypse Now? Toy Story? Saving Silverman? I'm disappointed in you.Answer: Not as disappointed as I am in me.
Question: Can you tell me what was in Amanda Foreman's box?Answer: That's disgusting. I'm not even going to dignify that question with an answer.
Question: So what's the free gift going to be if I come to the book signing — besides your autograph?Answer: I figured I'd have to bribe you guys to come, so I'm toying with the idea of offering up an item from my swag collection for every book purchased — while supplies last. (I put "toying" in italics because I break out in a cold sweat every time I think about giving my Everybody Hates Chris backpack away.)OK, folks, I'm running to the airport to catch my plane (FedEx Flight 239, if you wanna see me off) to Hollywood for the Emmys. I'll be on the red carpet uncovering scoop for next week's Emmy-themed AA, so if you have questions for any of the nominees, send them to me ASAP. And later that night I may (fingers crossed) be participating in a first-of-its-kind TV Guide event so big that we're no
Question: This is the ninth time I have written to you. Can you please tell me anything you may have on CSI?Answer: You know what they say in AA-land: Ninth time's the charm. This season we're finally going to find out why Grissom is the way he is (read: strong and silent).
Question: Have you seen this site? It ought to give you your Santa Barbara fix!Answer: Well, I was really hoping to get my SB fix on SoapNet, but since it doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon, this'll have to do. Thanks, Moosh.
Question: Do you have any info on the new season of Grey's Anatomy? I don't usually see too much about it in Ask Ausiello, but I love it!Answer: You love Grey's Anatomy or Ask Ausiello? Please try to be more specific next time, Erin. It could make the difference between me running your question or not. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time and assume you meant AA. Anyway, I'm trying to get some Anatomy scoop for my next column.
Question: Hello, Michael! I love reading your column every week! If you ever need an apprentice, assistant, gopher, whatever, let me know! I love television and the media and want a job like yours.Answer: This is probably a good time for me to point out that this cherry gig isn't the nonstop swag-and-Snapple parade I make it out to be. Some days I actually earn my paycheck. For example, you would not believe the hoops I had to jump through to get confirmation of a recent casting coup on a certain unnamed show. I was so exasperated that I timelined the entire experience press-tour-diary-style for inclusion in my forthcoming tell-all (due whenever I get around to it).
Question: Ummm, Mike? No one loves you more for your dogged pursuit of a Spike movie, but you do remember it was my idea originally, right? See your column back on Jan. 26, 2005, when I pitched the idea to you. So we share that credit, right?Answer: Me, you, you, me — does it really matter who gets the credit? The important thing is the ball is finally rolling.
Question: Can you tell me anything about Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's character on Lost?Answer: Here's a little somethin': His name is no longer Emeka. Producers are keeping the new, mysterious moniker top-secret. Meanwhile, don't be surprised if, um, let's just call him Gargamel, knows a thing or two about a certain heroin-filled airplane.
Question: Are you sure you don't want to change the date of your signing? I wouldn't want you to feel bad if no one comes because they're all at Serenity's premiere.Answer: Al Mattice, stop hiding behind the name Anne. It's beneath your dignity.
Question: I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy in the Mafia. So if you don't talk about Alias in this column, you better watch out.Answer: Don't play the mob card with me, mister. You're talking to someone with the last name Ausiello. Besides, all's quiet on the Alias front these days.
Question: Any Arrested Development scoop?Answer: Well, as I (read: me, me, me, me, me!) first reported in Monday's Entertainment News, Charlize Theron is coming on board for five episodes as an offbeat British chick who falls for Jason Bateman's Michael. From what I've heard about the story, there's a huge — and potentially controversial — twist with Theron's character. Oh, and I should point out it's freakin' genius. Genius.
Question: What was that Al Mattice thinking attacking you in last week's AA ? Doesn't he know that your slight case of egocentrism is part of your adorable charm and wit? Why else would we read this column?Answer: Thanks, Missy! I think.
Question: Got any scoop on 24? Tumbleweeds are blowing across!Answer: Not much more to tell aside from what was announced last week: The fifth day — kicking off with a four-hour, two-night premiere on Jan. 8 and 9 — picks up 18 months later, with Jack leading a secret life with new squeeze Diane (Connie Britton) and her son Derek (Brady Corbet). And over at CTU, Bill, Curtis, Edgar and Chloe will be joined by recovering hobbit Sean Astin, who is joining the cast.