Question: How come you never answer my one little question? Any info on when Comedy Central's Drawn Together is returning?Answer: There's no such thing as a little question, only stupid ones, Gina. This happens to be neither. Drawn's new season comes together Oct. 19.
Question: Do you have any news on Grey's Anatomy? I can't wait for its premiere!Answer: The residents finally get a place to hang. It’s a bar called Emerald City. There's tons more Anatomy dirt in TV Guide's Returning Favorites issue, which is on sale now. If by some slim chance you haven't snagged yourself a copy yet, get thee to a newsstand pronto. It's a spoilerwhore's dream come true.
Question: How many days off do you actually get a month? How am I supposed to get my weekly fix of sarcasm and Nip/Tuck spoilers?Answer: Relax, Pam, your weekly fix has arrived: The season premiere includes a ménage à trois, a rape, a funeral and the biggest case the boys have ever faced. Also, Anne Heche will play a patient who falls for Sean in at least three episodes.
Question: Who is this mysterious Matt Webb Mitovich character who "additionally reports" to your Entertainment News column? Watch your back, man. He could be gunning to take you out of the picture.Answer: Sorry to rain on your little All About Eve conspiracy-theory parade, but Matt was actually brought on board to help lighten some of my "monstrous" and "unparalleled" workload. (And I put "monstrous" and "unparalleled" in quotes to make you think someone else said it when, in reality, it was just me.)
Question: What are the chances HBO's The Comeback will come back? It's so funny! Canceled? "I don't wanna see that!"Answer: Sorry, but I think the show is as dead as Valerie's career. It didn't help that the season finale was seen by fewer than a million people. Heck, Carnivàle pulled in more than 2 million and it got put down, but don't get me started on that.
Question: I hear rumors that Donald Sutherland will make an appearance on 24 as Jack's father. Any chance you can clear this up?Answer: That was another one of those urban myths that originated on IMDb. And it's about as true as the one about Tina Wesson joining the cast of Lost.
Question: Do you happen to have any House spoilers? I love that show.Answer: I have it on good authority that Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) will experience some marital discord and it'll interfere with his job.
Question: Do you have any more juicy secrets that you're willing to share from your days working at Soaps in Depth?Answer: This probably qualifies more as starchy than juicy, but Vanessa Marcil kept talking about how much she loved potatoes in an interview I did with her, so the following day I shipped a 20-lb. sack to her at the General Hospital studio. She was so blown away by the gesture that she called and left me the sweetest voice-mail message ever. To this day, whenever I see her at an event I have to remind her who I am she thanks me for the 'taters.
Question: Who do you think is on the other side of the door on Veronica Mars?Answer: Well, not to brag, but I kinda know who is on the other side, since I just watched the unbelievably awesome season premiere over the weekend. I'll say this: The question of who is at the door may not answer the bigger question of who Veronica was hoping to see at the door. Chew on that little nugget. And regarding this season's central mystery, it's shocking. I'm still cleaning the Snapple residue off my living-room walls.
Question: There are rumors that Kim Raver will be returning this season on 24. Are they true?Answer: Yes, Fox has confirmed that she will be back. Don't know for how many episodes, though.
Question: Ausiello, Ausiello, where art thou, Ausiello? I feel as if I've been dumped! Come back!Answer: I'm back!
Question: How will Cameron and Stacy interact this season on House?Answer: Given their attraction to Dr. Grumpy, they'll be far from friends. According to exec producer David Shore, House and Stacy's growing flirtation "certainly makes it difficult on Cameron because those feelings haven't gone away. There's an awkwardness there for her." To say the least.
Question: You have to be one of the most self-obsessed Yanks I have ever come across. A fair percentage of the entries in this column begin with "Oh, I love your column!" Learn to take a compliment from people with dignity.Answer: You can't make me.
Question: Since Extras got picked up for a second season, does that mean Ricky Gervais is out of the running to take over as the Bluth's new head attorney on Arrested Development? And if so, who else is up for the role?Answer: Well, as my frienemy, Kristin, over at E! Online reported last week, Happy Days' Chachi Arcola will take the legal reins for one episode. But don't rule out Gervais just yet. Despite his busy schedule, I'm betting he gets Arrested at least once this season.
Question: Do you have any scoop on the fifth season of The Shield?Answer: Shooting begins in two weeks and I hear this season's big villain will be an Internal Affairs officer who has been brought in to investigate the Strike Team. Producers may go for a big name for the role. Also, they're hoping to get Anthony Anderson back for an episode or two, his busy schedule permitting.
Question: I was just watching SVU, and they previewed some big-name guest stars coming up this season, including Robert Patrick, Cody Kasch and Marcia Gay Harden. Who else is dropping in?Answer: Big scoop! Erstwhile Superman Dean Cain just closed a deal to appear in the Nov. 1 episode as "a very handsome guy who may or may not be involved in a series of serial rapes," says exec producer Neal Baer. The all-star episode also features Tootsie's Teri Garr as his lawyer and Tina Holmes (aka Six Feet Under's Maggie) as his girlfriend. Other big-name guests this season include Lynda Carter, Julian Sands, Mark McGrath and Veronica Cartwright. Oh, and The Shield's CCH Pounder will reprise her recurring role as tough-a
Question: I've just started reading the column, so excuse me if it's been asked: Is Tru Calling coming back or no?Answer: Now this here is an example of a stupid question.
Question: My hubby and I have become big fans of The Closer. How long will we have to wait for this great show to come back?Answer: According to TNT, the second season will kick off sometime next summer.
Question: I have read many conflicting answers about whether or not Michael Vartan is leaving Alias. I am dying to know the truth. Can you help me?Answer: In keeping with the death theme, ABC would rip my guts out if I answered this question. And me like my guts.
Question: How is Weiss getting written out of Alias?Answer: (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) I hear he gets a job offer he can't refuse: working for the president.
Question: You take more vacations than President Bush.Answer: Yes, but there are fewer protesters waiting for me at the entrance to my ranch.
Question: Since not all of us AA addicts live in the greater NYC area and can't attend your book signing, if we buy the book and send it to you (plus postage for return), will you autograph it for us?Answer: If I say yes, then no one will come to the event. And if no one comes to the event, I'll be out the $20 my brother bet me that I'd be sitting there all alone.