Question: Who is this mysterious Matt Webb Mitovich character who "additionally reports" to your Entertainment News column? Watch your back, man. He could be gunning to take you out of the picture.

Answer: Sorry to rain on your little All About Eve conspiracy-theory parade, but Matt was actually brought on board to help lighten some of my "monstrous" and "unparalleled" workload. (And I put "monstrous" and "unparalleled" in quotes to make you think someone else said it when, in reality, it was just me.)