Question: Just one lousy NCIS spoiler last week? And it wasn't even two lines. You've got to have more than that.Answer: You got me. I had two. Here's the other one: The real director of NCIS, David Brant — who recently announced his plans to retire in December — just shot a cameo in which he interacts with Mark Harmon's Gibbs.
Question: Is it just me, or does Supernatural seem just like The X-Files, only with two guys and no FBI?Answer: Come to think of it, you're right!
Question: I have been hearing a lot of things about the possibility of Hannah (Sarah Drew) leaving Everwood. What's the real story?Answer: (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) It's true: Hannah will decide to leave town after receiving tragic news in the Nov. 10 episode, but that doesn't mean we've seen the last of Sarah Drew on Everwood. I can't stress that enough. I also can't stress enough how freakin' unbelievable this show has been this season!
Question: Is Jess going to be the one to get Rory to go back to Yale on Gilmore Girls?Answer: (SPOILER ALERT) No, that little mission falls on former Secretary of State Madeline Albright's capable shoulders.
Question: OK, I admit, I was one of those people beating up on you, sending you a harsh e-mail after the season premiere of Alias. However, you have fully redeemed yourself with your latest tidbit about the Michael Vartan saga! Don't stop there, though — any news on the negotiations to bring him back to the show?Answer: Were you the one who banished me to a life of eternal damnation? All my hate mail tends to blur together. Anyway, yes, there is a major — major — development on the Vartan/Vaughn front: The deal officially closed late last week and Vartan returned to work on the Alias set yesterday. Please don't ask me who he's playing or how long his return engagement will last, because that I can't tell
Question: Do you have any news or spoilers on WB's new show Related?Answer: Would you settle for a riddle instead? Guess which multiple Emmy winner has been cast as the girls' deceased mother? Give up? Pick up the new issue of TV Guide magazine (on sale tomorrow) and turn to the Ausiello Report on page 10. It's all inside! Also on the Related front: The show is moving from Wednesday to Monday after 7th Heaven, effective immediately. Repeats will continue to air Wednesdays after One Tree Hill.
Question: Why is Grey's Anatomy so much better this season?Answer: Did you ever stop to think that maybe Desperate Housewives is just getting worse? Did you? Whatever the case, yes, Anatomy is on fire. The last two episodes were some of the best hours of TV I've seen all season. And Sandra Oh is rapidly becoming my new hero.
Question: I love your work, I really do. But could you not use the phrase "poop niblets" ever again!Answer: What if I just shortened it to pooplets?
Question: Love, love, loved the verbal ass kicking Emily gave Logan's mom on last Tuesday's Gilmore Girls. It just proves once again the brilliance behind that show.Answer: I knew you guys were going to eat that up. And not to take anything away from Kelly Bishop's sublime delivery, but major props must go out to Dan Palladino for scripting the classic smack-down. In case you missed any of it, I'm posting the entire monologue here. Feel free to commit it to memory and then recite it to the raging bitch in your life: EMILY: Ah, yes. Well, let me tell you this, Shira — we are just as good as you. You don't think Rory is good enough for your son? As if we don't know Logan's reputation? We do. But he is welcome in our home anytime, and you should extend
Question: What are you going to be for Halloween?Answer: Either Matt Leinart or Vanity Smurf. I can't decide.
Question: Everwood spoilers, please!Answer: I hear that Nina — in an effort to mend Andy and Jake's fractured friendship — will suggest they go see a shrink together. I hope they take her advice because that would be just plain hysterical. Also, Simon Rex is going to guest star in the Nov. 17 episode as a friend of Jake's. Apparently, the pair go on a bike trip that takes a near fatal turn. Oh, and don't look for Madison to resurface anytime soon. Sarah Lancaster has replaced Polly Shannon as the female lead in What About Brian?, J.J. Abrams' mid-season drama on ABC.
Question: Hey! Why don't you ever give any scoop on NBC's most underrated show, Crossing Jordan? I want some spoilers!Answer: (SPOILER ALERT) Look for things to heat up between Jordan and that tabloid journo dude Pollack next week, when the two go undercover as husband and wife. I guess it goes well, since they wake up the following week in bed together. But don't rule out Jordan-Woody just yet. I hear their whole little flirtation will be rekindled in a major way during February sweeps.
Question: Any scoop on Gilmore Girls? Sorry, any poop on Gilmore Girls?Answer: Brace yourself: Christopher's coming back. No lie. Although Amy Sherman-Palladino initially said there were no plans to bring him back this season, sources confirm that the perpetual spoiler in the Lorelai-Luke romance resurfaces in the Nov. 22 episode after Lorelai gets a surprise call from him. Coincidentally, that's the same episode we meet a mysterious 10-year-old girl who, I'm told, will turn a certain Stars Hollow resident's life upside down. Rumor has it — MAJOR SPOILER ALERT — someone whose name rhymes with Duke may have a long-lost daughter. (That noise you hear is thousands of Gilmore fans organizing a protest outside ASP's house.)
Question: I need some Shield poop! Do you know who the new captain will be?Answer: Shawn Ryan was incredibly vague about that topic, saying, "It's somebody new to that role.… I didn't think we could equal what we had, with three years of Benito Martinez and then a year of Glenn Close, so we're taking a very different tone with this year's captain. It's more about absentee leadership than any kind of new leadership." And here's some other breaking Shield poop: Catherine Dent's real-life pregnancy will be written into the show, setting up a "Who's your daddy?" mystery within Farmington; Guiding Light alum Paula Garces joins the force as Julien's new partner; and Ryan says there's a "decent-to-good chance" that Anthony Anderson will be back. Sadly, the same can't be s
Question: When are you going to remove your byline from the Entertainment News column and have it replaced by Matt Webb Mitovich's? It's not like you contribute to it very often. Being in love with yourself must take up much of your time.Answer: You wouldn't happen to be a disgruntled Notre Dame fan, would you, Steve? If so, sticks and stones may break my bones but at the end of the day that scoreboard will still say 34-31. Go 'SC!
Question: Regarding the upcoming Lost death, care to single out any other characters who are safe?Answer: (SPOILER ALERT) Ana-Lucia and Libby. And Rose.
Question: When will The Wire return?Answer: I'm hearing mid-2006 at the earliest. Production got under way at the end of September, right around the time I received an anonymous tip from a reader that "Dominic West is off The Wire." An HBO rep, however, insists he'll be back in some capacity, so I guess we'll find out in mid-2006 who the lyin' dog is.
Question: While I am totally sick of Desperate Housewives (how overrated can one show be?), I am totally confused by Lynette going from four kids to two. Where are those twins? Did they pull a Family Matters on us or are we going to see them again?Answer: OK, let me get this straight: Those little demon spawns have been put out to pasture and you're upset? Let's thank the TV gods for small favors.
Question: I have been looking all over the Web for some kind of hint as to when the Deadwood Season 2 will be released on DVD — with no luck. Help!Answer: Since it now appears that Deadwood Season 3 will launch in tandem with The Sopranos in March, I'm betting the second-season DVD will "street" in late February. Hey, just in time for my birthday!
Question: Any updates on when Scrubs might return to NBC's schedule?Answer: No news is bad news. With The Office struggling on Tuesdays after My Name Is Earl, the prevailing wisdom was that NBC would give Scrubs a shot in the 9:30 time slot during November sweeps. In fact, it appeared the Peacock was headed in that very direction when it announced late last week that it was benching The Office on Oct. 25 and replacing it with a rerun of the Earl pilot. But an NBC source says The Office is still scheduled to air after Earl during sweeps, so, basically, I don't know what the hell is going on. But I'm beginning to suspect someone at NBC really hates Bill Lawrence.
Question: I love Veronica Mars and it's all your fault. I never thought I'd enjoy a show about a young blonde chippy in high school solving mysteries, but you were right — it's fabulous! That said, give up the scoop, er, poop!Answer: How 'bout some visual Mars poop: Click here for a first look at Joss Whedon playing that testy rental-car manager in the Nov. 9 episode. And to see him in action with Kristen Bell, pick up the new issue of TV Guide magazine and turn to the Ausiello Report on page 10! Also, make sure to read Rob Thomas' latest Q&A with fans in today's Insider. There are a couple of good poop droppings in there.
Question: Who am I? Who am I! Peep! You ask me out, I say yes, and then all I get is a lousy "I'm sorry, who are you?" That's Berger cold. (I'm still on for CarnyCom, though.)Answer: This sort of thing was bound to happen eventually. (Sigh) Security...