michael.ausiello

The 24 dirt you promised, ...

Question: The 24 dirt you promised, please! Answer: Finally, an actual question! A screening copy of the two-night, four-part season premiere is making its way through the TV Guide offices — Bruce Fretts is watching it as we speak — and the early buzz is that Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) has transformed herself into "a smokin' hottie." She's also, according to Fretts, shagging some dude in CTU who is not Edgar, which makes me very sad. BTW, I'm fourth on TV Guide's 24 premiere-screener distribution list, behind Matt Roush, Fretts and Julie the cleaning lady, so, Spoiler God willing, I should have it in my hands, well, before I'm done with this week's column. (Yes, AA takes that long to write.)

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wow, that game must have ...

Question: Wow, that game must have hurt. Hey, at least you still have your hair, health, job, Smurf collection, Snapple in the fridge, awesome new website and people pimpin' your Ask Ausiello gear. But, man, that had to hurt. Answer: I would have given it all up (save for the Smurfs and my hair, natch) for just another yard on that final fourth down.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Don't let those Texas fans ...

Question: Don't let those Texas fans get you down with their snide remarks. Answer: I've got a pretty thick skin, Luanne. How does that old saying go? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but at the end of the day, once you subtract six points from Texas' final score for that imaginary second-quarter touchdown, the real winner is USC names will never hurt me.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Hey, just wondering if you ...

Question: Hey, just wondering if you have any O.C. scoop to share. And also, is there really going to be a wedding this season? Answer: Not sure about a wedding, but there will be a funeral. Josh Schwartz tells me that "a pretty important" character "will be dying in the next month and a half."

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Ha — 41-38, baby! In your ...

Question: Ha  — 41-38, baby! In your face, sucka! Answer: Go ahead. Get it out of your system.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Good grief, could you please ...

Question: Good grief, could you please hand out more 24 spoilers? They are few and far between. Answer: What do you got for us, Fretts!?!? "I guess you can't give this away, but Chloe just [censored] the guy who [censored censored]. She kicks ass! Oh, [censored] just [censored] him [censored]." Screw Julie the cleaning lady, I'm getting that effen' tape now!!!!

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Any more jaw-dropping Alias ...

Question: Any more jaw-dropping Alias scoop up your sleeves? Answer: That  Bradley Cooper guest spot I've been hinting at for months? Looks like it's gonna happen. Nothing official yet, but they're trying to get him for an episode.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Is there a snowball's chance ...

Question: Is there a snowball's chance we'd ever be graced with a Janine Turner guest shot on Numbers? I'd love a nod to Rob Morrow's Northern Exposure past, and it'd be great to see them on screen together again. Answer: Let's ask exec producer Cheryl Heuton: "We've already had several actors on Numbers who have appeared in other series with Rob, including Scott Cohen and Michelle Nolden, both from Street Time. While there are no immediate plans for Janine Turner to appear, there's every possibility that the right role will come up and that she will be available to play it."

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

OK, so the 24 premiere is ...

Question: OK, so the 24 premiere is only, like, four days away. I need scoop. Answer: More from Fretts: "Oh, Edgar just found out about Chloe sleeping with the hot CTU guy. Poor Edgar!" Yeah, I saw that coming a mile away.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Just curious how many e-mails ...

Question: Just curious how many e-mails you received from Texas fans mocking USC's loss and how many from USC fans consoling you and/or blaming the refs? Answer: 454 and 159, respectively. And counting.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

As a lady Longhorn, I think ...

Question: As a lady Longhorn, I think it's only fitting to cook you a meal to help you deal with your loss. How do you like your crow? Answer: I'm a vegetarian, so I prefer faux crow if it's not too much trouble. Now, can we please get on with AA? I've got a ton of scoop to dole out and all this petty name-calling is only serving to eat up what little time we have together. After all, it's just a freakin' football game. Life goes on.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

I'm just dying from Veronica ...

Question: I'm just dying from Veronica Mars withdrawal. What can you spill about the Rob Thomas-directed episode on Jan. 25? It's his first time, right? Gotta be something good. Answer: Let's ask the man himself. "I'll say this: Given my first chance to direct an episode, I didn't skimp on story," Rob teases. "Major developments in my episode. And serious upheaval in Veronica's love life." That's putting it mildly. Take a look at this tease UPN just released about the episode: "An FBI team, headed up by tough, seasoned Agent Morris (guest star Lucy Lawless), is called in to pursue Duncan after he breaks up with Veronica and flees with Meg's baby. Meanwhile, Wallace reveals the tragic reason why he returned to Neptune. Later, Logan asks his buddy Dick to help in a scheme to weed out which one of Weevil's P.C.H. Biker Boyz framed him for murder." Yeah, I'd say he didn't skimp on story.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

What's going on with your ...

Question: What's going on with your Veronica Mars cameo (Ask Ausiello 11/16)? Wasn't it supposed to be for February sweeps? Answer: Would you believe both sides are still talking? Assuming UPN and Warner Bros. agree to my demands — I'm sorry, but there must be Snapple waiting for me in my trailer — I could be on the set as early as next Friday. But the Snapple thing is non-negotiable.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

I love Greg Grunberg and miss ...

Question: I love Greg Grunberg and miss him on Alias. When is his new NBC show hitting the air? Answer: Sadly, it's not. If you read my item in the current issue of TV Guide magazine, you'd know that Grunny's Grand Union pilot is not moving forward. But he still has a development deal with NBC, so I wouldn't be surprised if he lands another pilot in the near future. And as I've already told you guys, he'll be in Alias' first episode when they return in March and in the series finale in May.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Scrubs is back! Scrubs is ...

Question: Scrubs is back! Scrubs is back! How were the ratings last week? Answer: I think it's fair to say the gang at Sacred Heart exceeded everyone's expectations in the Nielsen department. Despite formidable competition from the Orange Bowl, the two back-to-back episodes finished a strong second among adults 18 to 49.  This show is like the Energizer Bunny — only cool.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Sorry to hear about your ...

Question: Sorry to hear about your Trojans, Ausiello! Tough break. With all the changes on Thursday night, I've noticed that Joey is nowhere to be found. What's going on? Answer: It's just on a little hiatus while NBC sees if it can do better with its new Thursday comedy block. (So far so mediocre, based on last Thursday's ratings.) I can tell you that when Joey does make it back on the sched., we're finally going to meet the doofus who gave birth to the Tribbster. That's right, producers are currently casting Joey and Gina's hard-to-please pa, Joey Tribbiani Sr., for an episode to air, well, whenever. (Ooops! As several readers just pointed out to me, this would actually represent a recast since we already met Joey Sr. in Season 1 of Friends when he was played by Robert Costanzo. In my defense, that was, like, 100 years ago.)

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

OK, well, we all saw the ...

Question: OK, well, we all saw the Trojans lose to Vince Young. Now it's time to pay up. The bet was made on Dec. 21, so now it's time to spill everything you know about Lost right in time for tonight's return. I'm glad that you're being a good sport about this. Answer: Did we actually shake on that? I'm kidding, of course. A bet is a bet. I'm heading to Los Angeles for a press tour this week and I promise I will make it my primary mission to collect as much intel on Lost as I possibly can without getting arrested or pelted with rocks by ABC. Fair enough? In the meantime, here's a little tease ABC sent out about the Jan. 25 episode: "When Charlie’s vividly surreal dreams lead him to believe Claire’s baby, Aaron, is in danger, Locke suspects Charlie may be using again. Meanwhile, Sawyer encourages Hurley to act on his attraction to Libby."

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Just wanted to thank you for ...

Question: Just wanted to thank you for finally pushing me off the fence with Battlestar Galactica. Your hearty recommendation got me to make the leap, and I have yet to regret it. Answer: Just wait until you see the conclusion of the two-parter on Friday. BTW, I got a hot tip that Sharon will definitely give birth to a human-toaster hybrid before the season ends.

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Come on, Ausiello. It's been ...

Question: Come on, Ausiello. It's been a while since we had some decent O.C. scoop. Answer: Yes, I feel badly about the lack of O.C. dirt of late — so much so that I convinced exec producer Josh Schwartz to let me ply him with Jesus Juice and pump him for info on the second half of Season 3. First, the big news: Samaire Armstrong's return as Anna. "She [comes back] when there's a little bit of emotional upheaval for Seth as he prepares to go away to college," Schwartz explains of the pixie's three-episode arc, which begins in late April. "And there are some complications for Seth-Summer based on all this anxiety… and he really needs a stabilizing force. But her timing is inopportune if you're Summer." Schwartz says Seth's increasing neurosis about college will give Adam Brody a shot to show off those dramatic chops of his. "Adam is as skilled a dramatic actor as he is a comedic actor,

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Didn't you promise us an ...

Question: Didn't you promise us an Emily Van Camp interview, once upon a time?Answer: Crikey, I knew I forgot something!

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Who would win one-on-one: ...

Question: Who would win one-on-one: Batista or John Cena? Answer: I need a little more information before I can answer that question. First off, who are these guys? Actors? Jockeys? Synchronized swimmers? 

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Wed, Jan 11, 2006

Fellow Trojan! Got any scoop ...

Question: Fellow Trojan! Got any scoop on Tommy and the firehouse gang for this coming season of Rescue Me? Thanks. Fight on, Brotha! Answer: Fight on yourself, my friend! Regarding Rescue Me, a little birdie tells me Denis Leary recently dropped by the FX offices to pitch a bunch of stories for Season 3 and none of them included bringing in a new firefighter (male or female) to replace Diane Farr. That's all I gots.

Wed, Jan 4, 2006

Wed, Jan 4, 2006