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The Dick Van Dyke Show Season 4 Episodes
Season 4 Episode Guide
32 Episodes 1964 - 1965
Episode 1
My Mother Can Beat Up My Father
Wed, Sep 23, 196430 mins
Lying in the hospital in traction, Rob relays the story of how he sustained his injuries (which he implies were all Laura's fault) to his nurse, Miss Taylor. The story: Three days earlier when Rob and Laura were out for dinner, Laura was being harassed by a drunk. To protect his wife, Rob decided to challenge the drunk to a fight, believing the drunk would back down. After a very fast impromptu fight - leaving Rob floored with a sore nose and hurt pride - Laura herself knocked the drunk out with a judo move. Already feeling somewhat emasculated by the incident, Rob's situation became all the worse from being witnessed and reported by Ed Wilson, Rob's newspaper columnist friend. The resulting talk swirling around the incident implied that if Laura beat up the drunk and the drunk beat up Rob, then logically Laura could beat up Rob. As such, Laura now wore the pants in the family. To regain his manhood, Rob - although stating he didn't want to beat up Laura physically - deep in his heart knew he had to do something to that effect to regain his confidence, so when he learned that the show's chorus lead, Tony Daniels, knew judo himself, Rob took a few lessons to show Laura a few moves.
Episode 2
The Ghost of A. Chantz
Wed, Sep 30, 196430 mins
Alan has invited Mel, Rob, Laura, Buddy and Sally to a fishing lodge for a working weekend. With Alan and Mel settled in their rooms, the other four arrive to find there are no rooms for them since Mel forgot to book them. The lodge is completely full, but the desk clerk does offer them a secluded cabin that has not been used in three years. The last occupant of that cabin, the wealthy Amos Chantz, disappeared without a trace. Legend has it that Amos haunts it. On the girls' behalf, Rob and Buddy decide to take the cabin. Though slightly scared of the legend, they don't want either Laura or Sally to learn about the haunting story, but the legend may be difficult to hide when strange things start happening all around them once they're inside. Though scared, they decide to stay until a sudden storm passes, but "the ghost" may have other things on his mind as, one by one, the cabin inhabitants start disappearing, leaving the last of the four to deal with the ghost of Amos Chantz on his own.
Episode 3
The Lady and the Baby Sitter
Wed, Oct 7, 196430 mins
Rob and Laura love Ritchie's babysitter, seventeen-year-old Roger McChesney, who gets along well with Ritchie, helps him with his homework, and even does odd jobs around their house. In speaking to a slightly distracted Roger, Laura detects that he's in unrequited love with a girl. He admits he is, but that the object of his affection doesn't know. To help Roger, Laura asks Rob to act as his guide through the pitfalls of teen love from the male perspective. Despite Roger's assertion that the girl is unattainable, Rob convinces Roger to tell the girl how he feels, unaware that the girl of Roger's affections is Laura.
Episode 4
A Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat
Wed, Oct 14, 196430 mins
Rob and Jerry, and by association Laura and Millie, aren't speaking to each other over an argument concerning Jerry and Millie's vigilante mentality of wanting to spray weed killer on a neighbor's crabgrass-infested lawn without his consent, of which Rob and Laura want no part. In their argument, Jerry rips Rob's jacket; two weeks later, they're still not speaking. Rob thinks he's extended an olive branch by sending a written invitation to the Helpers to attend a dinner party at their house. In not hearing back from Jerry and Millie, Rob thinks he and Laura have been snubbed; however, the invitation failed to get mailed, which Mel finds almost a week after the scheduled dinner party and posts it for Rob. When the invitation arrives at the Helper's on a Saturday, with the invitation stating that the dinner party is being held this Saturday (but was actually the week prior), Jerry fumes thinking Rob purposefully sent the invitation to arrive the day of the dinner in order for them not to show. After Millie convinces Jerry to go to the dinner party (which is non-existent since the actual dinner party already occurred), the feud may escalate over the misunderstanding; however, the misunderstanding itself may actually solve their problem.
Episode 5
The Man from 'Emperor'
Wed, Oct 21, 196430 mins
Drew Patton, an old buddy of Rob's, known as a shy bookworm in their college days, is now a renowned lady's man and the publisher of a men's magazine, Emperor. He asks Rob to be the comedy consultant for his magazine, a job Rob isn't sure he should accept as he isn't sure he should be associated with such a publication. To be more precise, Laura doesn't want Rob to be associated with such a publication and get caught up in the playboy lifestyle for which Drew is so famous. While Drew does whatever he can to have a private "business" meeting with Rob alone without Laura, Laura does whatever she can to prevent Rob from going to such a meeting. Drew ultimately gets the upper hand in that department, with the meeting promising to have a bevy of beautiful young women parading around. Following the meeting, Laura admits to Rob why she is so scared of him working for Drew.
Episode 6
Romance, Roses and Rye Bread
Wed, Oct 28, 196430 mins
Sally receives a red rose at the office from a secret admirer. The sender - a hint to whose identity is the rose's smell of pastrami - reveals himself as Bert Monker, the deli guy. Bert, who always kids around with Sally, mentions that the rose is an anniversary gift for the day she first stepped into his deli. Sally thinks this is just a put-on, but through an unexpected encounter, Rob and Laura learn it is not and that Bert is really in love with her. When told of this fact, Sally doesn't know what to do, as Bert isn't her type, but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. She decides avoidance is the best interim tactic, but Bert is a persistent and caring suitor, and Sally ultimately has to be up front with her feelings, as does Bert.
Episode 7
4½
Wed, Nov 4, 196430 mins
Rob, Buddy and Sally have been asked to do a benefit show at Granville State Prison by its entertainment director, convict Lyle Delp. Rob and Laura and Lyle are old friends who first met when Laura was pregnant with Ritchie. At that time, Rob took Laura to the doctor's office when she started experiencing what may have been pre-labor pains. Rob and Laura were alone in the elevator at the medical building with Lyle, who promptly held them up. The stick up went from bad to worse (for all of them) when the elevator got stuck. Their collective goal then became how to get out of the elevator safely and quickly, especially with a pregnant Laura becoming more pregnant with every second. This process gave them much time really to get to know each other, sort of.
Episode 8
The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail
Wed, Nov 11, 196430 mins
Rob, Laura, Sally and Buddy arrive at Granville State Prison to perform for the inmates as a favor to Lyle Delp, the prison's entertainment director and fellow convict whom the Petries first met and befriended many years earlier when he tried to hold them up with a comb. Warden Jackson provides the Petries with standard prison garb as costumes for their chained-at-the-ankles dance number. As Buddy first then Sally second take the stage, Rob, dressed in his costume, doubles back for the forgotten prop chains and, in the process, gets mistaken by a prison guard for one of the trouble-making inmates who isn't allowed to see the show. Hauled off to the cells with surly inmates who won't corroborate his story (for a guard who's hardly likely to believe them anyway), Rob has to figure a way to convince the disbelieving guard that he is who he says he is. Meanwhile, Laura stands in the wings, fearing the absent Rob is somewhere up to his borrowed prison stripes in trouble.
Episode 9
Three Letters from One Wife
Wed, Nov 18, 196430 mins
Rob has written a script for a local television show called "Project Greatness", which discusses in a serious manner what makes certain issues great. Rob's script is about the world of comedy, and he thinks Alan would be perfect for the show. Alan, on the other hand, thinks it's a terrible idea as he only does comedy where he, as the center of the show, gets a laugh at least once every ten seconds. In turn, he does not do highfalutin, cultural television, which he believes his fans do not want to see. He also believes Rob only wrote it to show how smart he is in comparison. But Alan at least agrees to read the script. After reading it, Alan agrees to do the show, but he seems to agree solely to prove Rob wrong, which if Alan is right means Rob could lose his job. Laura believes that if Alan gets enough positive fan mail, he'll consider it a success. Since Laura doesn't tell her outright not to do it, Millie takes that as a sanction for her to write a handful of positive letters to Alan, and get everyone she knows to do the same. Ultimately, the show gets preempted by a week, which causes a problem not only as Rob has to endure the stress of Alan's negativity for one more week, but since Millie, the writer of fourteen glowing letters to Alan about the show and how lucky he is to have someone like Rob on staff, mailed said letters. Laura and Millie have to figure out what to do, hopefully to keep Rob from standing in the unemployment line after Alan reads the letters.
Episode 10
Pink Pills and Purple Parents
Wed, Nov 25, 196430 mins
Sally comes into the office with a massive headache. Buddy offers her some prescription painkillers he has - his unknown "pink" pills - which Rob refuses to let Sally take, as he feels one should never take someone else's prescription drugs. Why?: because of an incident when Laura took someone else's prescription, which he states almost ruined their marriage. The time was a couple of months after they were first married and still living on the base. Rob's parents were coming for a visit, which marked the first time Laura would have met them. As such, she was a nervous wreck, especially as she got the impression that Rob's mother felt that she stole Rob away from her. Millie offered Laura some of her prescription sedatives, which Laura took just in case she felt like she really needed them. In part because of an incident with Rob earlier in the day, Laura decided to take a pill just as Rob's parents arrived. As Laura's nerves hadn't settled in combination with judgmental comments by Rob's mother, Laura decided to take another pill. With a glass of wine in her system as well, Laura ended up not being in control of her faculties that evening.
Episode 11
It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise
Wed, Dec 2, 196430 mins
Buddy and Sally learn through a trade publication article that the writers for the Cliff Barnett Show - one that is not nearly as funny or as popular as Alan's show - are the highest paid writers in the business. In addition to the fact that Alan actually owns the Cliff Barnett Show, Buddy and Sally feel under-appreciated and want a 10% raise, each - not so much for the money but for the principle - or else they'll quit the show. Rob agrees to act as their intermediary, and Alan sends Rob to his business manager, Doug Wesley, to talk over the issue. Despite Alan's companies doing very well and Alan himself being a very wealthy man, Doug bamboozles Rob with corporate gobbledygook about certain business subsidiaries doing better than others, each being the official employer of different areas of the show. The one that pays Buddy and Sally is currently doing very poorly, hence a raise for the two of them is impossible, but because the subsidiary that pays Rob is doing so well, Doug gives Rob a 15% raise. Rob has to figure out what to do about the new situation of him ending up with more money but not Buddy or Sally.
Episode 12
The Death of the Party
Wed, Dec 9, 196430 mins
Over Laura's strong objections, Rob insists on keeping an early morning golfing date despite damp, wet conditions -- on the same day as a dinner party Laura is having for her relatives. Then as he begins to feel sicker and sicker, Rob must put on a positive face for the party rather than admit she was right that he should have skipped the golf game.
Episode 13
My Two Showoffs and Me
Wed, Dec 16, 196430 mins
A reporter from Manhattan Magazine is coming to the office to do a story about the show, and Mel wants Rob to let him sit in on a writing session. Although Rob says he'll think about it, he knows it's a bad idea that will lead him, Buddy and Sally into grandstanding, getting no work done, and hating one another afterward. He also fears that if Buddy and Sally know about it, they'll talk him into it. Laura, who would like to see Rob get some publicity for his excellent work, talks him into at least discussing the issue with Buddy and Sally. As feared, Buddy and Sally talk Rob into letting the reporter in; and, as predicted, it all goes downhill from there - but a last-minute realization may save them from public embarrassment.
Episode 14
Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk
Wed, Dec 30, 196430 mins
Rob and Laura receive the mysterious gifts of an attaché case and perfume. They soon learn they're from Neil Schenk, perhaps Rob's oldest friend, who calls him "Stretch" (which Laura hates) and himself "The Kid". "Friend" is too strong a word as both Rob and Laura don't much like Neil, who likes to make himself out to be a big shot. He always seems to want something from Rob whenever he's in town - which is implied he is owed since he got Rob his first big job - and this trip seems no different as Neil plies them with the gifts and an expensive meal. Indeed, Neil is in line for a job at a New York advertising agency as primary liaison to The Alan Brady Show. He wants Rob to write him a glowing letter of recommendation, which is made all the more difficult as Rob knows Neil isn't right for the job. Rob has to figure out how to stand up to Neil this time and refuse to do what he wants.
Episode 15
Brother, Can You Spare $2500?
Wed, Jan 6, 196530 mins
Rob returns from work in the wee hours only to discover he has left this week's Alan Brady Show script at Grand Central Station. An unsuccessful visit with the lost and found attendant Harry Keene (brilliantly portrayed by the always scene stealing Herbie Faye) forces Rob to face the music with his colleagues. The writing staff then receive a fateful phone call from a vagrant at Grand Central who found the document and used it as a pillow. However, after Rob's thankful embellishment on the phone, the bum now demands $2500 ransom for the vital script. Of course he settles for a lesser payment, yet now requests a 'drop' be made at a nearby park. Disgusted and anxious, Rob attends the drop point only to get drawn into a series of misadventures involving two other vagrants, a policeman, and a spoiled kid and mother on an outing. Hauled away to the police station for assaulting the wrong bum, Rob has failed to obtain the script. With hope lost and the show in jeopardy, the bum surprisingly shows up at their office building with script in hand, having witnessed Rob's arrest. Excellent pace in this episode, with many odd characters and adventurous plot twists.
Episode 16
The Impractical Joke
Wed, Jan 13, 196530 mins
At a party at Sally's house (the guests who include Buddy and Mel but not Rob and Laura), Buddy is the center of attention as he plays a series of telephone pranks on unsuspecting people. He convinces his comic friend Phil Franklin to call Rob to pull a prank about a broken telephone. After the prank, an embarrassed Rob feels like a fool. Rob thinks revenge is the best medicine despite having sermonized in the past against practical joking. The problem for Rob is that Buddy is expecting him to pull a prank of his own. Or is that a problem for Rob? Buddy begins to look over his shoulder at all times waiting for Rob's bomb to drop on him, all the while Rob seemingly goes on with his regular prank-less life.
Episode 17
Stacey Petrie: Part I
Wed, Jan 20, 196530 mins
Rob's brother Stacey, newly decommissioned from the army and staying with Rob and Laura for a few days while he looks for an apartment, comes bearing news. He is opening a nightclub in the city (in which Rob has invested) and is engaged. What's somewhat troubling about the latter news is that he has yet to meet his betrothed, with whom he has only corresponded via letters. What little information Rob and Laura can get out of Stacey is: her name is Julie, she lives in New York City, is a friend of an army buddy, hasn't actually met Stacey, and hasn't been asked to marry him yet. Stacey is hesitant to see or even telephone her as he fears his extreme shyness around women will make a bad impression. He thinks that having a practice date might help, namely with Sally (who agrees, looking upon it as a challenge). As Sally excruciatingly wrangles more information from Stacey about why he's nervous to meet Julie, the rest of the evening unfolds in a violent way neither Sally nor Stacey had envisioned but which benefits the two in different ways.
Episode 18
Stacey Petrie: Part II
Wed, Jan 27, 196530 mins
The day before Stacey's nightclub opens, other matters occupy his thoughts, leaving Rob and Laura to do much of the work at the club. Stacey's preoccupation: Julie Kincaid, the woman he intends to marry (who only knows of Stacey as a friend of a special friend). Stacey wrote Julie love letters on behalf of an army buddy named James Garner (no, not THE James Garner). James eventually lost interest in Julie but not Stacey, who continued writing Julie for himself, still signing the letters with James' name. Building up the courage to meet Julie, Stacey finally makes his appointment to see her, but her reaction to the truth may entirely affect the success or failure of Stacey's business venture.
Episode 19
Boy #1, Boy #2
Wed, Feb 3, 196530 mins
Mel branches out into a new career as a television commercial director, with a script provided by Rob. The commercial requires a child actor, but instead of hiring a professional, Mel wants a non-actor to make the scene more believable. Rob turns down Mel's suggestion of using Ritchie, feeling one family member in show business is enough, but Laura would have liked some input into that decision. She supports Rob until Millie pipes up, saying that her son, Freddie, would love to do it. Following Rob's taciturn approval, Millie quickly tells Freddie in front of Ritchie, who, caught up in the excitement, also wants to be in the commercial if only to be able to wear the baseball uniform costume and miss a day of school. Rob and Laura can't bear to tell Ritchie he's not in it. Rob's solution: rewrite the commercial with two children in the scene, but as hard as Rob endeavors to make the script equal for both kids, Laura and Millie take it upon themselves to make it unequal, each trying to increase the exposure of her own son while driving Mel to the breaking point.
Episode 20
The Redcoats Are Coming
Wed, Feb 10, 196530 mins
Ernie and Fred, better known as the Redcoats (a British rock duo that's all the craze among the teen set), are performing on Alan's show, which causes issues for the show's staff if only in keeping their screaming female fans at bay. It becomes an even bigger issue for Rob when Mel asks if the Redcoats can stay at his house for one night. Adoring fans always find out their top secret hotel whereabouts, preventing the boys from getting any rest whatsoever, and one night ensconced at the Petrie's would provide them much needed sleep. Rob, who isn't allowed to tell anyone except Laura, reluctantly agrees. Although knowing the worst would happen, Rob and Laura are both dying to tell someone - anyone - that the Redcoats are staying at their house.
Episode 21
The Case of the Pillow
Wed, Feb 17, 196530 mins
Rob cries fowl when he takes a shady salesman to court for selling Laura smelly feather pillows.
Episode 22
Young Man with a Shoehorn
Wed, Feb 24, 196530 mins
Rob, Buddy and Sally each receive a bonus paycheck for a sketch previously written that Alan is reusing for a comedy special. As it is an unexpected windfall, Rob wants to invest it in something he doesn't need but wants. Buddy convinces Rob and Sally to at least consider investing their bonuses on his Uncle Lou's discount shoe store. After seeing the store, meeting Uncle Lou and reviewing the store's financials, Rob thinks it's a good idea and talks a reluctant Laura into going along with the decision. Laura may regret saying yes after receiving horrible service from the store's salesman, Sid, who doesn't know she is Rob's wife. Although not wanting to be heavy-handed but feeling the need to protect his investment, Rob talks to Sid about the situation, but Sid, not taking any guff from a new investor, promptly quits. As Lou isn't around at the time, Rob and Buddy mind the store till his return. How much trouble can Rob and Buddy get into serving customers in a shoe store? Plenty.
Episode 23
Girls Will Be Boys
Wed, Mar 3, 196530 mins
Laura is concerned about Ritchie since he has been coming home from school with bruises. She thinks he's been fighting. He finally admits as much, and ends up in tears when he tells Laura who has been beating up on him: Pricilla Darwell, a girl. He obviously hasn't been fighting back. Ritchie states that her attacks are unprovoked, but Rob and Laura think that there's more to the story that he isn't divulging. So they decide that Pricilla's parents may be able to shed more light on why their daughter is doing what she's doing. After meeting Mr. Darwell and sweet-as-sugar Pricilla who says she loves Ritchie and would never beat up on him, Rob can't believe that Pricilla is the bully. But an eyewitness confirms Ritchie's story. Since another visit to the Darwell's doesn't seem to yield any resolution to the conflict, Rob and Laura have to decide what to do to stop Pricilla from beating up Ritchie while teaching Ritchie to do the right thing.
Episode 24
Bupkis
Wed, Mar 10, 196530 mins
While listening to the radio, Rob hears a novelty pop song called "Bupkis" that sounds terribly familiar - he co-wrote it with a colleague named Buzzy Potter back when the two were in the army. Buzzy has failed to give Rob any writing credit for the song because, two months earlier, he swung by Rob's office ostensibly wanting to revive their songwriting partnership. When Buzzy asked about peddling their old songs, Rob verbally gave him outright ownership of them. Buddy and Sally believe Buzzy probably had a recording deal already lined up at the time and, as such, should be sued. At least Rob should consult a lawyer about it, but when Rob's personal attempt to be gracious with Buzzy results in a contemptible response, Rob decides he needs to get some sort of emotional satisfaction out of the situation instead, perhaps in the form of beating up Buzzy. In the process, Rob learns a little more about the true history of "Bupkis."
Episode 25
Your Home Sweet Home Is My Home
Wed, Mar 17, 196530 mins
To explain his annual $37.50 "friendship" check to Jerry, Rob tells his new accountant the story of how he and Laura found their new house.
Episode 26
Anthony Stone
Wed, Mar 24, 196530 mins
Sally is beaming upon her return from vacation in Jamaica. Rob and Buddy know the reason: a man named Tony, whom she met while on vacation and who sent her flowers at the office. Sally admits as much, but she's evasive about Tony himself. She purposely meets Tony away from the office and even rushes to pick up the office telephone so that Rob and Buddy won't have a chance to speak to him. Even so, Rob and Buddy accidentally meet Tony, and although he's handsome, well-dressed and seemingly wealthy (indicated by the expensive gift he gives Sally), his equally evasive nature about himself makes Rob and Buddy take a dislike to him, believing that there is something shady that he's hiding. In due course, Laura, Rob and Buddy, and Sally each learn something different about him, which causes some confusion but makes Rob and Buddy specifically wonder whether they should share what they consider their earth-shattering news with Sally or not.
Episode 27
Never Bathe on Saturday
Wed, Mar 31, 196530 mins
In a flashback, Rob and Laura recount to Millie why a romantic overnight getaway that evening was abruptly cut short. The couple's second honeymoon starts off well enough in their hotel suite until Laura takes a bath and Rob playfully paints a "David Niven-ish" mustache on his lip. Rob is assisted by a wisecracking hotel staff, including a surly maid, a detective and a bellboy. It finally takes a gunshot to the bathroom door lock and a locksmith to extricate Laura from her predicament.
Episode 28
Show of Hands
Wed, Apr 14, 196530 mins
With Alan called out of town to a sponsors' meeting, Mel asks Rob and Laura at the last minute to attend a formal awards banquet to accept an award on the show's behalf. The preparation for the evening starts out hectic enough with Laura also trying to finish a costume for Ritchie needed the next day, and Rob's tuxedo needing to be pressed but with the cleaners already closed. Things get even worse when Laura takes over the costume making job from Millie and puts her hands in a pot of black fabric dye, not realizing it's a permanent dye which won't wash off. While Laura is over at the Helpers hoping Jerry has something that can remove the dye from her hands (which he doesn't), Rob comes home. Thinking that he needs to help Ritchie, he too sticks his hands in the pot of dye. With the state of their hands, Rob is even more adamant than fashion-conscious Laura about not going to the awards banquet as the award is being given by the CIU: the Committee for Interracial Understanding. With Buddy and Sally unable to attend, Rob and Laura have to attend but resort to wearing gloves, which may be suitable for Laura, but not quite so for Rob. Once at the banquet, the awards motto "truth and understanding" may make Rob and Laura change their minds about the need for the gloves.
Episode 29
Baby Fat
Wed, Apr 21, 196530 mins
Alan needs Rob's help improving a script for his Broadway debut, but without anyone's knowledge.
Episode 30
One Hundred Terrible Hours
Wed, May 5, 196530 mins
Rob and Laura are being interviewed for a magazine article primarily about Rob's professional life. The reporter, Mr. Waring, becomes more fascinated when Rob describes his job interview with Alan as "there but not really there." The story: At the time, Rob was working as a disc jockey for WOFF radio in Danville, the number two station in a two-station market. To move them to number one, station manager William Van Buren wanted Rob to do what many stations in the US were trying to do - break the new 99 hour 50 minute broadcast endurance record set by a Houston DJ. Just as the new record was done, they broadcast from a department store window for the whole world to see Rob in action. Near the end of his record attempt, a disoriented Rob learned that Alan wanted to see him for an interview that evening. Nine hours later, Rob, who needed Laura's help in getting to the interview in Chicago, was even more disoriented as he met with Alan and Mel.
Episode 31
Br-rooom, Br-rooom
Wed, May 12, 196530 mins
Rob comes home uncharacteristically lackadaisical, talking about the joys of freedom. Laura soon finds out that Rob's talk of freedom relates to the fact he just bought a motorcycle (a small Geronimo). Laura doesn't like the idea of a motorcycle - large or small - which she thinks is unsafe since she knew a boy in high school who got into a serious accident with one. She also knows that Rob is a klutz. As such, Rob reluctantly agrees to give it up, but turning that talk into action is a little more difficult for him, which leads to another argument on whether or not to keep the motorcycle. In the end, Rob feels entitled to one ride of freedom before selling it - a ride which might very well lead to his arrest.
Episode 32
There's No Sale Like Wholesale
Wed, May 26, 196530 mins
Rob and Laura have made a pact to get each other a nice gift once a year just because, with no pressure and no competition. This year, Rob has decided to get Laura a $500 fur coat, especially as Laura needs a new coat. Buddy, always with a deal at the ready, says he knows someone who knows someone who can get a deal on such a coat. Rob isn't too sure about Buddy's deal but wants to get something nice and genuine for Laura. Rob eventually succumbs to Buddy's sales tactics if only to see if Buddy's ubiquitous wholesalers really do exist. Despite the somewhat shady process Rob must go through with the wholesaler, Nunzio Vallani - a process which includes fake names, fake orders, a pick-up location way out on Long Island and a non-return policy - Rob can't argue with the $250 price tag for the exact same coat, even if the coat doesn't fit and he will eventually have to get it altered. Laura is forced to pick up the coat herself from a store on Long Island, pretending to be Nunzio's wife, which is difficult pull off since Laura has no idea who Nunzio is. When Laura gets the coat home, it is not only the wrong size - built for someone twice Laura's size - but the wrong style. Rob and Laura have to decide whether to take their loss, try to deal with Nunzio on an exchange, try to sell the coat to a female linebacker, or tell Buddy what a rotten deal his deal ended up being.