Join or Sign In
Sign in to customize your TV listings
By joining TV Guide, you agree to our Terms of Use and acknowledge the data practices in our Privacy Policy.
South Park Season 3 Episodes
Season 3 Episode Guide
17 Episodes 1999 - 2000
Episode 1
Rainforest Shmainforest
Wed, Apr 7, 199922 mins
The boys get recruited to join a choir group performing in Costa Rica to help save the rainforest. The choir leader, Miss Stevens, wants to teach everyone how wonder the rainforest is, and leads the group on a nature tour, only to get hopelessly lost in the wilderness where they fall victim to wild animals, quicksand, violent natives and rebel troops. Only Cartman, who sneaks away after getting fed up with Miss Stevens' love of nature, can save his classmates.
Episode 2
Spontaneous Combustion
Wed, Apr 14, 199922 mins
A wave of spontaneous combustion is sweeping through South Park, and the mayor charges Stan's father (a geologist) with finding the cause. After working feverishly on the problem, he finds the answer: people are holding in their farts for so long, they're bursting into flame. A grateful nation loosens its sphincters in relief, but their problems aren't over yet. Meanwhile, the boys crucify Cartman in the hopes of helping Kyle's father get an erection.
Episode 3
The Succubus
Wed, Apr 21, 199922 mins
The kids are shocked when they come to school one morning to find their beloved chef gone from his usual post at the cafeteria. After doing some investigating, they discover that Chef has fallen in love with a woman named Veronica and has turned his back on everything he once prized. Mr. Garrison tells the boys that Veronica may be a succubus: a demon that sucks out the life force of men while controlling their minds with a song. Chef refuses to heed the children's warnings, so they must find another way to break the demon's spell.
Episode 4
Jakovasaurs
Wed, Jun 16, 199922 mins
While out in the woods, Cartman discovers a strange creature. Some government scientists tell the townspeople that the creature is a Jakovasaur: a prehistoric animal thought to be long extinct. Soon afterward, the first Jakovasaur's mate turns up in South Park, and the town immediately begins trying to get them to breed so their species can recover. This, however, leads to a bigger problem: the Jakovasaurs turn out to be so annoying that nobody (except for Cartman) can stand them.
Episode 5
Tweek vs. Craig
Wed, Jun 23, 199922 mins
The boys are getting ready to start their first day of shop class (except for Kenny, who ends up in Home Ec.), and the teacher, Mr. Adler, begins by asking who the biggest troublemaker is. Stan and Kyle think that Tweek is the biggest troublemaker, while Cartman picks Craig. Unable to come to an agreement, they decide to manipulate the two boys into a fight to see who would win. While all this is going on, Mr. Adler continually pines for his long-dead fiancée.
Episode 6
Sexual Harassment Panda
Wed, Jul 7, 199922 mins
The kids get a visit from Petey the Sexual Harassment Panda, who teaches them why sexual harassment is wrong. Later that day, Stan insults Cartman who, taking Petey's message to heart, decides to sue Stan for sexual harassment, hiring Kyle's father as his lawyer. Lawsuit follows counter-lawsuit, and Kyle's father is soon involved in the biggest lawsuit ever, Everyone v. Everyone, with him representing Everyone. The kids track down Petey and help him find a new message to try and end the madness.
Episode 7
Cat Orgy
Wed, Jul 14, 199922 mins
Cartman's mother is going out to a meteor-watching party, and leaves Eric with Shelley Marsh (Stan's sister) as his babysitter. Once Mrs. Cartman leaves, Shelley invites her boyfriend, Skyler, who in turn invites his entire band to practice in the living room. Desperate to get them out of the house, Cartman tries one scheme after another, but nothing works. Only when Shelley gets cruelly dumped does Cartman begin to see her side of things, and the two team up to get revenge.
Episode 8
Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub
Wed, Jul 21, 199922 mins
All the adults in town have gathered at Mr. Mackey's house for a meteor-watching party. While giving his guests a tour of the house, Mr. Mackey shows off his new hot tub. Declaring the night to be a time of experimentation, Stan's father and Kyle's father get in the tub together as the other guests go downstairs. After talking for a while about trying new things, they decide to masturbate together. This causes Stan's father to have misgivings about his sexuality and to feel increasingly guilty as the night goes on. Meanwhile, the ATF has the house surrounded, thinking the guests are a crazed religious cult planning to commit suicide when the meteor shower starts.
Episode 9
Jewbilee
Wed, Jul 28, 199922 mins
While their parents go to a meteor-watching party, Kyle and Ike are sent to spend a night at a Jewish camp for Jewbilee. Kyle invites Kenny to come along, but warns him to make sure nobody discovers he's not Jewish. Everything goes well until Moses himself appears at the celebration and declares that an unbeliever is present. Meanwhile, Ike's troop of Squirt scouts is rapidly falling prey to a hungry bear.
Episode 10
Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery
Wed, Oct 27, 199922 mins
Halloween is coming, and the kids all have their costumes ready, except for Cartman, who's only excited about Christmas coming up in two months. Local priest Father Maxi is up in arms over the town Halloween celebration, as well as the upcoming concert by Korn, claiming that both are an abomination against God. As all this is going on, a gang of pirate ghosts is wandering the pier by the lake, scaring and attacking the townspeople. Teaming up with Korn, the kids investigate the mystery.
Episode 11
Chinpokomon
Wed, Nov 3, 199922 mins
All the kids (except for Kyle, who ends up always one step behind in keeping up with the fads) are going crazy over Chinpokomon, a new toy, game, and TV show set that's just arrived from Japan. Something doesn't quite seem right, however, when the toys start telling kids to attack Pearl Harbor, but the toy's makers have an explanation ready that satisfies everyone who comes to investigate the matter. Will the kids be stopped before it's too late?
Episode 12
Hooked on Monkey Fonics
Wed, Nov 10, 199922 mins
Kyle is on a pace to win the annual South Park spelling bee, but ends up being beaten by a pair of home-schooled children, Mark and Rebecca. After the competition, Mark decides he wants to go to a regular school like the other kids, while Kyle finds himself smitten with Rebecca. Cartman, meanwhile, decides he wants to try homeschooling, which to him means lying in bed all day watching television.
Episode 13
Starvin' Marvin in Space
Wed, Nov 17, 199922 mins
Starvin' Marvin, the young Ethiopian boy who was delivered to South Park by mistake two years earlier, finds an alien spacecraft out in the desert. After learning to fly the craft and visiting his old friends in Colorado again, he decides to use the ship to find a new home for his people, where they can escape the harassment of Christian missionaries. To help him on his way, the boys must outwit the FBI, Sally Struthers and Pat Robertson.
Episode 14
The Red Badge of Gayness
Wed, Nov 24, 199922 mins
It's time for South Park's annual Civil War re-enactment, and the boys have been assigned to the Union army. Cartman's misbehavior gets him kicked out, however, and he shows up later dressed as the Confederate general. Angry at his friends for laughing at him, he bets them that the South will win the Civil War, and then starts inspiring his troops to start fighting for real. Not only does the Confederacy go on to win the battle, Cartman then begins leading them to take on the entire nation.
Episode 15
Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
Wed, Dec 1, 199922 mins
Mr. Hankey hosts a traditional Christmas special, featuring holiday musical numbers performed by various members of the cast. Songs include Kyle's family singing The Driedel Song, Satan singing Christmas In Hell, and Mr. Garrison singing a song ordering all religions of the world to come together in worshiping Jesus for Christmas. This episode was also a tribute to cast member Mary Kay Bergman, who had died earlier that year.
Episode 16
Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus
Wed, Dec 29, 199922 mins
The Millenial New Year is approaching, and everyone in waiting expectantly for Jesus (who lives in South Park) to provide a message of guidance and hope for the next thousand years. Jesus, however, feels lost and uncertain of what to do, so he turns to his father and asks him to make an appearance. God tells his son that the people are not yet ready to see him, which means Jesus is on his own. Meanwhile, Stan is upset because all his friends are having their first periods and starting puberty.
Episode 17
World Wide Recorder Concert
Wed, Jan 12, 200022 mins
The entire class at South Park Elementary is taking a trip to Arkansas to take part in the Worldwide Recorder Concert, where millions of kids around the world will simultaneously play "My Country 'Tis of Thee" on recorders. Mr. Garrison takes the opportunity to visit his parents and confront his father about his past issues with sexual molestation. Meanwhile, the boys try to find the mythical "Brown Note" in an attempt to get back at some obnoxious kids from New York.
