Question: Any scoop on whether Alias will be coming back next season? — MJ Ausiello: Nothing official yet, but J.J. told me he's "optimistic." Let's hope tonight's episode fares better than last week's Nadia-centric outing, which attracted a season-low 8.4 million viewers. Apparently, subtitles + Mia Maestro - Jennifer Garner = The West Wing for most viewers.
Question: Why was the show starring Craig T. Nelson canceled last year? — Allen Ausiello: You mean The District? CBS axed it when the show's median age crept up to 119.
Question: God, are you one catty SOB. — Tom Ausiello: That's Mr. God to you.
Question: Regarding the identity of Dana on Desperate Housewives: What if Dana didn't really die? What if Dana is really Zach and the sick thing Mary Alice did was give her daughter a sex change? — Danielle Ausiello: You were on a roll right up until "sex change." Where is it written that Dana can only be a girl's name? Certainly not on Dana Carvey's birth certificate.
Question: Can you please give us a tiny clue as to whether Lorelai is gonna get pregnant or not? — Caty Ausiello: All will be revealed May 10. New episodes, by the way, begin airing April 19.
Question: In last week's AA, you mentioned Star Jones' birthday, which was the 24th, but not Keri Russell's, which was the 23rd. What gives? — David Ausiello: I think the answer is pretty obvious: There's something seriously wrong with me.
Question: If ABC picks up Greg Grunberg's pilot, The Catch, does that mean he'll leave Alias? — Rebecca Ausiello: That's exactly what it means.
Question: Any news on whether Noah Wyle will be returning to ER next season? — Marie Ausiello: Yes, after six months of extreme waffling and fence-straddling, Wyle has finally made a decision. Unfortunately, I have to refer you to the aforementioned issue of TV Guide magazine (with Gilmore Girls on the cover) for the big reveal. Sorry to be such a tease, Marie.
Question: I know you have some ER scoop for me! — Jaclyn Ausiello: Is my phone bugged? Because I just hung up with Madchen Amick (that's who was calling earlier), who told me that she's returning April 21 to tie up loose ends following her big February breakup with Carter. "This is like a last [goodbye] before they go their separate ways," said Amick, who, earlier that same night, will make the second of her five guest appearances on Joey. Won't viewers be confused? Jokes the former Twin Peakian: "I'll just have to make an announcement at the beginning of the night [explaining] it all."
Question: Do you think Rory's "crisis" is overrated and it's not that big a deal, like some people (including myself) are making it out to be? — Jessy Ausiello: Well, it certainly won't seem overrated to Rory. But I do think fans were quick to play the "clich&#233 TV twist" card (Rory's pregnant! Dean gets hit by a dump truck! Paris gets abducted by aliens!) when I first hinted at the forthcoming crisis. I mean, this is Gilmore Girls, people, not One Tree Hill!
Question: I like your column a lot and get great laughs out of it. I'm very surprised, however, that you failed to wish Keri Russell a happy bir... (interrupted) — Sandy Ausiello: Keri, please forgive me! I don't know what I was thinking. Happy Birthday! Call me! Hey, there's the phone now — this might be her!
Question: I need some details about the future of JAG! — Amanda Ausiello: So do I. Anyone got some?
Question: Stop talking about Gilmore Girls so much. I don't want to have to read another Ask Ausiello in two minutes flat 'cause of all the questions I skipped. — Cindy Ausiello: Well, I hope you didn't skim past my "shameless self-promotion" joke from last week, because it was classic. Regardless, I think you'll be pleased with this week's AA, which contains just three Gilmore-related questions — this one included. The rest of the column features (mostly) exclusive intel on Lost, Scrubs, Survivor: Palau, Charmed, Dead Like Me, American Dreams, CSI, The O.C., Rescue Me, Veronica Mars, WB's Spike flick and Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman. And, to top it all off, I finally have the answer Tru Calling fans have been waiting for. Critics are raving that it's my most "equitable, action-packed, scooplicious" AA to date. And who am I to argue with the critics?
Question: Last I heard there was still a chance that Dead Like Me would be shopped out to another network. Any progress on that front, or has that ship sailed? — Rich Ausiello: A rep at MGM tells me the studio is "still in discussions with various entities. Hopefully, we'll have some news in the not-too-distant future." Translation: Bon voyage.
Question: I just found out that someone is going to be left in a life-or-death situation on CSI at the end of the season. Who is it?! Please help me, I need to know!! — Anna Ausiello: All I know is that it's not Gil. OK, that's not all I know. I also know that producers are searching for a "name" actor to come on board this May as a potential love interest for Catherine (Marg Helgenberger). "He's a criminal defense attorney that she meets in a bar," reveals executive producer Carol Mendelsohn, adding that, "[The casting] will be a real surprise for the audience if we can pull it off." Here's a hint: This person has one Emmy nomination under his belt — for a guest-starring role on a current NBC drama.
Question: Please tell me there will be a second season of House. — Angie Ausiello: There will be a second season of House (Entertainment News 3/4).
Question: You previously hinted at a new guy joining Rescue Me as Tommy's temporary "replacement." Since production has begun on the second season, you must know who it is. — Michelle Ausiello: The role went to Oz inmate Lee Tergesen after it was turned down by Matt Dillon. And Philip Seymour Hoffman. And Tim Robbins. Tergesen will appear in the first three episodes, after which Tommy (Denis Leary) will return to the house.
Question: Is Rory's big crisis on Gilmore Girls (Ask Ausiello 3/2) about Logan's family and how they don't approve of her? Because if it is, a ton of people already know that. — May Ausiello: No, it isn't. It involves Papa Huntzberger, and a certain internship Rory will take at his paper. (For those keeping track, that was the second of three GG questions.)
Question: Any news on Lena Olin's possible return to Alias? — Tatiana Ausiello: Yes! The deal closed last week and Syd's mama will be back for the big 90-minute season finale on May 25. And no one is more relieved than J.J. Abrams. "It's something I've been trying to do for a long time," he says. "I was hoping all year that we would be able to pull this off, and we managed to. I have to give a lot of credit to her agents, who were incredibly helpful in making this happen, because this is certainly a story that we wanted to tell. We're really excited about it."
Question: What was that terrible noise I heard playing on my computer as I was enjoying last week's column? — Dianne Ausiello: After calling an emergency meeting with our online ad manager, Oda Chan, we have determined that you most likely had beans for lunch.
Question: Also, since we, thus far, can't e-mail forward individual articles, they also won't print, in order to fax them. — Gretchen Eastwood Ausiello: E-mail me your credit-card info and I'll take care of it. Apparently I have to do everything around here.
Question: You recently said that there was a 90 percent chance of 24 returning next season (Ask Ausiello 3/9). What's the other 10 percent that could prevent it from coming back? — Dwight Ausiello: The end of the world, for starters.