According to the U.K.'s Sun, Pulp Fiction auteur Quentin Tarantino was invited to direct an episode of NBC's hit series but turned the show down cold. "I haven't even seen the f--king show," Mr. Crankypants is reported to have said. "What the f--k is Heroes?" Um, it's like CSI and ER (both of which QT has directed), only cooler.Tuesday's Today's News was written by Ben Katner.
If you were planning to catch the "Mandy" singer on The View today, your plans have just changed. In a message posted on his website yesterday, he announced that he'd canceled his appearance. "I had made a request," he writes, "that I be interviewed by Joy [Behar], Barbara [Walters] or Whoopi [Goldberg] but not Elisabeth," whom TMZ has quoted him as calling "dangerous" and "offensive." "Unfortunately," he continues on his blog, "the show was not willing to accommodate this simple request, so I bowed out." Score another one for Team Rosie.
This new-old Star Trek flick is really starting to come together. According to the Hollywood Reporter, director J.J. "Just Jenius" Abrams has picked Drumline knockout Zoe Saldana to play Uhura. If he somehow includes "Uhura's Song," I may have to go all fanboy on him. In other movie news, per Variety, Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal are about to be perfectly cast as sibs in Jim Sheridan's Brothers, about a soldier (Spider-Man) whose ne'er-do-well bro (Donnie Darko) looks after his family while he's in Afghanistan.
OK, maybe the embattled ex-View-er is nuts after all. The New York Post says Oprah wanted to have her on her talk show — which makes best-sellers of books overnight, I needn't remind you — to discuss Celebrity Detox, O'Donnell's scathing new tell-all. And Rosie went all Amy Winehouse on her and said no, no, no! "Rosie has always been booked with Diane [Sawyer]," says her rep. "We gracefully declined Oprah's offer. I'm sure Rosie will do Oprah's show another time." After this, I kinda doubt it. Look how long she stayed mad at Letterman.
You know, in retrospect, I should've been nicer to the American Idol host in my live Emmy telecast blog, because there was no way Judge Dread was gonna have a kind word to say about his performance even if he'd been Ellen-caliber great. "There were a few uncomfortable moments," Cowell tells Extra. "We were expecting a two, so I'm going to give him a two and a half. So he did better than expected." Come on, dude. Just for once, be a human, huh? I know it's your job to be a prick on Idol, but in real life, just once in a blue moon, show the world you aren't actually a nasty-ass machine.
In the October issue of CosmoGirl!, Heidi Montag whines that she's just had to accept the fact that MTV, and the world, will never see Lauren Conrad as the bitch she sees her as. "They don't show the footage of how Lauren was sort of obsessed with [fiancé Spencer Pratt] or how she called my mom... and told her I was involved in an abusive relationship or how she would scream at me in the middle of the club if I wanted to leave." Poor kid. I feel the same way about Mitovich.
Indigent Matthew W. Walli has been fingered as one of about 12 people involved in the gay-bashing of lesbian Top Chef contestant Josie Smith-Malave and three other women on Long Island over Labor Day weekend. Since he also stole a video camera from one of the ladies, he's been charged with robbery as a bias crime, which is punishable by up to 15 years in the pokey.
If you're not on this list, it's time to get a new agent. Everybody who's anybody has been signed up by the Disney Channel to do a voice on the cabler's new animated show Phineas and Ferb. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the lineup includes Malcolm McDowell, Allison Janney, John O'Hurley, Jane Carr, Barry Bostwick, Sandra Oh, Steve Zahn, Billy Ray Cyrus, J.K. Simmons, French Stewart, Vicki Lawrence, Tim Curry, Geraldo Rivera, Evander Holyfield and the father/daughter team of Joel and Jennifer Grey. You can get your next sneak preview of the show at 10:45 pm/ET on Sept. 28. The series will finally premiere in January.
• Unfortunately for those of us who refuse to watch TV on our phones, VH1 resurrected Pop-Up Video yesterday, yet only made the fun, formerly defunct show available in mobile format, under the new but not necessarily improved title Pop Up Video to Go. First to be "trivialized" were the videos for Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" and Fall Out Boy's copy-editor nightmare, "Thnks fr th Mmrs." • The third season of the supernatural gay soap Dante's Cove kicks off on here! Networks on Oct. 19, with Amazing Racer Reichen Lehmkuhl and Angelina's ex, Jenny Shimizu, new to the inordinately buff cast. • The Season 3 premiere of FX's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was up 62 percent from its sophomore-season bow. The comedy averaged 2.3 million total viewers, its best showing ever.
Oh, don't go calling The Star. The Designing Woman has just been cast as William H. Macy's missus in his upcoming TNT show Family Man, about a closet burglar. That is, he's secretly a burglar, he doesn't only burgle closets. In other casting news, Tony-winning Jersey Boy Christian Hoff has joined the Fox pilot Hackett as a foil for Donal Logue's wacky schoolteacher.
If the sports memorabilia that the ex-football star is accused of taking at gunpoint turns out to be his, the family of the late Ron Goldman aims to claim it themselves as part of their multimillion-dollar settlement against Ron's alleged killer. Simpson's arraignment is scheduled for tomorrow, at which point his lawyer has said he will request that his client be released on his own recognizance. Dang, I love saying "released on his own recognizance." Makes me feel all soap-opera judge-y.
According to People, the Emmy nominee has gone all Madonna-Angelina and adopted a baby girl from Africa. Because, um, what? Have we run out of leftover babies in America? Anyway, the actress has a 3-year-old son already from her relationship with Billy Crudup that, if my tabloid recall serves me correctly, ended when he allegedly dumped his preggers girlfriend for Claire Danes.
Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange are teaming up for HBO Films' adaptation of Grey Gardens, based on the 1975 documentary about Jackie O's kooky cousin and aunt that's already spawned a Broadway musical. No word yet on whether the pic will debut in theaters or on HBO. In somewhat less prestigious movie news, Steven Seagal has written himself a new starring vehicle, A Higher Form of Learning, which is going straight to DVD. In it, he plays a detective who globe-trots in pursuit of serial killers. What? You were expecting a gardener?
Match Game perennial Brett Somers passed away yesterday at the age of 83. The cause of death was stomach and colon cancer, said Adam Klugman, her son with estranged spouse Jack Quincy Klugman. Besides the popular 1973-'79 game show, Somers is fondly remembered for her Odd Couple appearances as her husband's ex-wife.Tuesday's Today's News was written by Ben Katner.
Matt here, operating on perhaps four hours of sleep. And you all have me doing math on top of it? Oh, it's all good. My 30 Rockers got their due.Anywho... the Nielsen overnights indicate that Sunday's Emmy Awards telecast averaged 13.06 million total viewers. That skinny sample represents not only an 18 percent drop from last year's pre-Labor Day installment but, much more dubiously, the show's smallest audience since 1990 (when about 12.3 mil people watched as L.A. Law and Murphy Brown won for best drama and comedy). Even Fox itself, in its just-released ratings spin, cops to the fact that the Emmys ranked No. 2 to NFL Football among adults 18-49, 18-34 and teens. That said, the audience is rather impressive when you consider that more than a few hundred stuck around after that endless Don't Forget the Lyrics spoof.Related: Inside the Emmys: All the Dish from TV Guide's After-party!
Not sure how parents are gonna really feel about the Californication guy developing a project for their kids, but nonetheless, David Duchovny is indeed working on a live-action show about a whippersnapper who turns his school's AV Club into 60 Minutes. Well, more or less. No title yet, but may I suggest he keep suffixes like "-ication" out of it?.... Don't bet on Fox to keep Nashville on the map for long. The new reality drama drew only a 1.0 rating in the key 18-49 demo; that's worse than literally everything the network tried out in the Fridays-at-9 time slot last season.... Fantastic Four star Ioan Gruffudd married Alice Evans in Mexico Friday, People reports. The actors met on the set of 2000's 102 Dalmatians.
He's come a long way from Ugly Wanda! Jamie Foxx received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday. "My grandmother's gotta be spreading her wings and flying around in heaven, just so happy," he told a crowd of well-wishers. Meanwhile, Reba McEntire has been named Billboard's first Woman of the Year, meaning, well, she's swell, and there will be lots of pictures of her in the magazine's October Women in Music issue.
On Sept. 25, the cabler will air a live SportsCenter Special, The Vick Divide — An ESPN Town Meeting originating from the disgraced Atlanta Falcons QB's home turf. Natch, the topic will be his involvement in dogfighting and whether his case is an issue of race or simple inhumanity. I suspect my "Feed Your Dog Kibbles 'N Vick" bumper sticker gives a clue as to where I stand on the issue. In related news, TMZ reports that Seinfeld funny lady Carol Leifer has purchased the notes Vick scrawled when he gave his half-assed apology for more than 10 grand, with all proceeds going toward the Animal Cruelty Reward and Response Fund.
I don't want to hate Paris Hilton. Really, I don't. (I even liked her album.) But dang, she makes it hard not to. "Someone just said that I'm adopting four blonde babies," she told People on Friday, then answered in such a way that we can only hope she never gets anywhere near a child. "That's retarded.... I want to have my own children." The dimbulb went on to explain that she is approaching her role in the upcoming movie Repo! The Genetic Opera with a heretofore-unimaginable seriousness. "Before, I was just [acting] for fun," she confessed, "not really paying attention... not even studying my lines." Legitimate actresses, you have my utmost understanding and support. Please step away from the ledge....
HBO has given a six-episode commitment to the SNL grad's comedy about a baseball player turned gym teacher. The show stars Danny McBride, who also cowrote the pilot. In other Ferrell news, the funnyman is auctioning off a bit part in his next movie, Step Brothers, to raise funds for his USC frat brother Craig Pollard's Cancer for College Foundation. The opening bid $5,000. So, um, I'm gonna hold out for a cameo in "Elf 2."
Evan Handler, who played Charlotte's hairy hubby Harry on Sex and the City, has confirmed for People that he will appear in the movie. But, he noted, "Harry doesn't feature that prominently.... It's [the women's] story." He also hinted that the rest of the show's supporting players... that is, the guys... had also come to terms at least in theory to do the film. Which is good, because without them, it would be kinda hard to put the sex in the City.
Over the weekend, feel-good vigilante flick The Brave One displaced 3:10 to Yuma as the top movie in America with an opening take of $14 million. Russell and Christian's 3:10 clocked in with a haul of $9.2 mil, good for a second-place finish. Rounding out the top five were Mr. Woodcock (debuting with $9.1 mil), Dragon Wars ($5.4 mil in its first weekend) and Superbad, adding $5.2 mil to its ongoing haul.
