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Saturday Night Live Season 31 Episodes
Season 31 Episode Guide
19 Episodes 2005 - 2006
Episode 1
Steve Carell/Kanye West
Sat, Oct 1, 200590 mins
Sketches include "Bush Addresses the Nation", "Morgan Stanley", "The JetBlue Crisis", "Anderson Cooper 360", "The Couple That Should Be Divorced", "Girls Gone Wild Katrina", "Kanye Backstage", "The Lundford Twins Variety Hour", "Fun With Real Audio", and "Debbie Downer". Kanye West performs "Gold Digger" and "Heard 'Em Say" featuring Adam Levine.
Episode 2
Jon Heder/Ashlee Simpson
Sat, Oct 8, 200590 mins
Sketches include: Harriet Miers Nomination Cold Open, Jon Heder Monologue, Taco Town, Kaitlin: Science Project, The Werewolf, The Misadventures of Tom Delay and Bill Frist, ¡Show Biz Grande Explosion!, Weekend Update with guest Tim Calhoun (Horatio Sanz substituting for Tina Fey), Wilson Bros. Funeral Home, Hubbard Systems Company Retreat, Date with Operator Lady, Commercial Parody: Black Eyed Peas. Ashlee Simpson performs "Catch Me When I Fall" and "Boyfriend". Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph absent for maternity leave.
Episode 3
Catherine Zeta-Jones/Franz Ferdinand
Sat, Oct 22, 200590 mins
Sketches include: Special Report: Iraq Q&A, Catherine Zeta-Jones Monologue, Butt Cancer Treatment Center, Newsnight with Aaron Brown, Fosse Party, Weekend Update with guests Donnie Freeman, Pep Walters and the voice of Don Pardo (and a tribute to Charles Rocket), Italian Hotel, Access Hollywood, Creighton Boys School French Teacher, Musical Vows, Morgan Stanley (repeat), Schatzki's Deli. Franz Ferdinand performs "Do You Want To" and "Take Me Out". Maya Rudolph absent for maternity leave.
Episode 4
Lance Armstrong/Sheryl Crow
Sat, Oct 29, 200590 mins
Sketches include: A Message From the Vice-President of the United States, Lance Armstrong Monologue, Celebrity Iron Man, Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000, The Indigo Girls (with Sheryl Crow cameo), The O'Reilly Factor, Weekend Update with guests Finesse Mitchell, Scott Podsednik, and Mrs Butterworth, A Song for Sheryl (with Sheryl Crow cameo), Days of Our Lives, Carol!, Hit Man. Sheryl Crow performs "Good Is Good" and "Strong Enough". Maya Rudolph is absent for maternity leave.
Episode 5
Jason Lee/Foo Fighters
Sat, Nov 12, 200590 mins
Sketches include "Hardball", "JJ Casuals", "Good Morning Meth", "The Falconer", "Thomas & Dobbins", "The Soaking Wet Killer", "Refurbishments", "Butt Pregnancy", "Stachin'", "McNutly & Sons", and "American Tasar". Foo Fighters perform "DOA" and "Best of You".
Episode 6
Eva Longoria/Korn
Sat, Nov 19, 200590 mins
Fox News Special Report: Bush in China, Eva Longoria Monologue, Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000 (repeat), The Spammies, Deep House Dish, Morgan Stanley (repeat), The Needlers: College Reunion, Variety Vault: Vincent Price Thanksgiving, Weekend Update featuring guests Jean Schmidt and Steve Jobs, Desperate Housewives Vanity Fair Shoot, Trapped in the Closet II, The Engelhard Five, Firmium. Korn performs "Twisted Transistor" and "Freak on a Leash". Maya Rudolph absent for maternity leave.
Episode 7
Dane Cook/James Blunt
Sat, Dec 3, 200590 mins
Sketches include: Tree Re-Lighting Special, Dane Cook Monologue, School Announcements, Taco Town (repeat), The Long Ride Home: The Jay Feely Story, Wool Sweater, Lettuce: An SNL Digital Short, Target Greatland, Weekend Update with guests Rachel Dratch and Michael Irvin, The Coma, Fight Back with Victor Ramos, Morgan Stanley (repeat). James Blunt performs "You're Beautiful" and "Goodbye My Lover". Maya Rudolph is absent on maternity leave.
Episode 8
Alec Baldwin/Shakira
Sat, Dec 10, 200590 mins
Saddam in Prison, Alec Baldwin's 12th Monologue, Commercial Parody: Tylenol BM, TV Funhouse: Celebrity Mugshot Poker, O'Reilly Factor, Carol Goes Bowling, Glengarry Glen Christmas.
Episode 9
Jack Black/Neil Young
Sat, Dec 17, 200590 mins
Jack Black Monologue, Blown, TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews, Lazy Sunday: An SNL Digital Short, Two A-Holes Buy a Tree, Spelling Bee.
Episode 10
Scarlett Johansson/Death Cab for Cutie
Sat, Jan 14, 200690 mins
Chandeliers, Sweet Sixteen, Deep House Dish: Johansson, Engagement Ring, Mr. Willoughby.
Episode 11
Peter Sarsgaard/The Strokes
Sat, Jan 21, 200690 mins
Sketches include: Anderson Cooper 360, Peter Sarsgaard Monologue, Commercial Parody: Nelson Baby Toupees, Target Greatland, Pirate Convention, Carol!: Art Gallery, Young Chuck Norris: An SNL Digital Short, Cat Fancy Magazine, Weekend Update: Gore and Kerry, Weekend Update with guest Drew Barrymore, Gays in Space (opening performed by Will Forte), Fairmont Suites Inn (with technical gaffes), National Security Agency, Peter Sarsgaard's SARS Guards. The Strokes perform "Juicebox" and "You Only Live Once". Maya Rudolph absent on maternity leave.
Episode 12
Steve Martin/Prince
Sat, Feb 4, 200690 mins
Steve Martin's fourteenth time hosting. Maya Rudolph's first episode back from maternity leave. Paula Pell's return to the writing staff after her sitcom "Thick and Thin" is not picked up. Sketches include: The Sabotage of Baldwin: An SNL Digital Short, Steve Martin Monologue, Commercial Parody: A Teddy Bear Holding A Heart, Oprah with Stone Freeman, Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford, Hamas Victory Party, Close Talkers: An SNL Digital Short, Quick Zoom Theater, Weekend Update, Superbowl XL Rehersals, Lorne's Office, The Prince Show, State of the Galaxy 2145, Tangent: An SNL Digital Short, Surfers. Prince performs "A Woman Scorned" and "Beautiful Love (3121)" (featuring Tamar).
Episode 13
Natalie Portman/Fall Out Boy
Sat, Mar 4, 200690 mins
Natalie Portman hosts this episode and Fall Out Boy is the musical guest. The Cold Opening is a Message from President George W. Bush(Will Forte) who addresses the public on issues of secret White House activity and Vice-President Dick Cheney's(Darrell Hammond) hunting accident. Natalie Portman's Monologue consists of her tackling questions raised by "Star Wars" nerds in the audience. Repeat of Nelson Baby Toupees commercial from January 21, 2006, which spoofs Hair Club For Men commercials. Three over-psyched Jamba Juice employees (Portman, Seth Meyers, Horatio Sanz), have had so much of their own high-energy protein drinks, that they can't stop themselves from offering free boost supplements to their customers. Larry King(Fred Armisen) interviews a group of trans-gendered people who are in the middle of their sex change procedures. TransAmerica star Felicity Huffman(Kristen Wiig) is one of his guests. In the third installment of The Needlers, Dan(Meyers) and Sally Needler(Amy Poehler) seek help from a fertility doctor(Portman) so they can have a baby as an alternative to examining the issue of their troubled marriage. TV Funhouse celebrates a belated Black History moment; 24's Dennis Haysbert(Himself) shows clips from all-black kids' cartoons that failed to make an impact during the 1990's. Nuni Schoener(Portman) brings her college boyfriend Jeff(Jason Sudeikis) home to meet her parents, Nonny(Armisen) and Nunni(Maya Rudolph). Weekend Update with Tina Fey & Amy Poehler includes Donald Trump(Hammond) disguising himself as Martha Stewart in order to pump his own ego over their "Apprentice" feud, Olympic skater Sasha Cohen(Portman) attempting a second career as a comedienne, and Kenan Thompson introducing a new clothing line geared toward black men in drag. Former "Wake-Up Wakefield" co-host Sheldon(Rachel Dratch) has a Bar-Mitzvah, and watches his short-term ex-girlfriend(Portman) make out with his friend Jonah(Andy Samberg), while Megan (Rudolph) dreams of marrying Adam Levine. This SNL Digital Short is a Chris Parnell interview with Natalie Portman, who raps about a side of herself we've never seen before. Repeat of the Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000 commercial from episode airing October 29, 2005. Fall Out Boy performs "Dance Dance" and "Sugar, We're Going Down."
Episode 14
Matt Dillon/Arctic Monkeys
Sat, Mar 11, 200690 mins
Sketches include: Spring Break Cold Open, Matt Dillon Monologue, Prisonmates.net, Sportscenter, Doppelganger: An SNL Digital Short, Two A-Holes at a Travel Agency, How to Order Sushi Like a CEO, J.J. Casuals (repeat), Joplin: Alive Podcast, Weekend Update with guests Farad Nsar and Will Forte, TV Land Variety Vault: Vincent Price's Thanksgiving, Inner Harmony Relaxation Tape, Appalachian Emergency Room, DeCicco Brothers Unicornery. Arctic Monkeys perform "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" and "A Certain Romance".
Episode 15
Antonio Banderas/Mary J. Blige
Sat, Apr 8, 200690 mins
The Women's Basketball Fashion Awards
Episode 16
Lindsay Lohan/Pearl Jam
90 mins
Lindsay Lohan's third time hosting. Sketches include: The Situation Room Cold Open: White House Staff Shake-ups, Lindsay Lohan Monologue, Commercial Parody: Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream, Deep House Dish, TV Funhouse: Journey to the Disney Vault, The O'Reilly Factor, Le Rendezvous: Chocolate Vesuvius, Laser Cats: An SNL Digital Short, Weekend Update with guests Stormy Windbreaker and Taylor Hicks, Debbie Downer: Bachelorette Party, Introvert's First Night Out, Turner Classic Movie Archives: Atlantic City Fever. Pearl Jam performs "World Wide Suicide" and "Severed Hand". Maya Rudolph and Horatio Sanz do not appear.
Episode 17
Tom Hanks/Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sat, May 6, 200690 mins
Tom Hanks' eighth time hosting. Sketches include: Bill Frist's Gas Plan, Tom Hanks Monologue, Wheel of Fortune, Kaitlin: Eli's Iguana, My Testicles: An SNL Digital Short, Universal Theme Park, Weekend Update with guest Rosie O'Donnell, Weekend Update: Debate between Drs. Gunther and Patrick Kelly, Yoga Partner, C-Span After Dark: Colin's Place, Tennis Partners. Red Hot Chili Peppers perform "Dani California" and "Give It Away"
Episode 18
Julia Louis-Dreyfus/Paul Simon
Sat, May 13, 200690 mins
Former cast member Julia Louis-Dreyfus' first time hosting, promoting "The New Adventures of Old Christine". Sketches include: Parallel Universe Address from President Gore Cold Open, Julia Louis-Dreyfus Monologue (with guests Jason Alexander and Jerry Seinfeld), Tech Pack, Bum Attention, The Morning Show, MySpace Class, Weekend Update: Debate between Al Gore and Amy Poelher, Weekend Update with guests Wolfgang Fey, Finesse Mitchell and David Blaine, Charades Game Show, Unsolved Mysteries, Bullhorn: An SNL Digital Short. Paul Simon performs "How Can You Live in a Northeast Town" and "Outrageous".
Episode 19
Kevin Spacey/Nelly Furtado
Sat, May 20, 200690 mins
Kevin Spacey's second time hosting. Sketches include: Anderson Cooper 360, Kevin Spacey monologue, Two A-Holes at a Crime Scene, Oprah Winfrey's Legends Ball Special, Carol!, TV Funhouse: All-New Presidential Outtakes, Andy and Kevin: Usual Suspects, Weekend Update with guests Taylor Hicks and Whitney Houston, The Falconer: Time Traveling, Andy Walking: An SNL Digital Short, Legends of History: Phillip Sarc, Neil Young's 'I Do Not Agree With Many of This Administration's Policies'. Nelly Furtado with Timbaland performs "Promiscuous" and "Maneater".
