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How to Run for President, According to Donald Trump

Just a few simple steps can get you there

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Goals are good, as we all know. What better goal can be had than becoming President of the United States? Though if you're going to run, you need a role model. While the 2016 race is heating up with candidates including Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush, Bernie Sanders and more, one candidate in particular stands out for reasons all his own: Donald Trump.

Here are steps you can follow (or not) to run for president like The Donald:

Have an official slogan: "We are going to make our country great again." OK, Donald Trump. This slogan implies our country isn't great, but we get the idea. So far, so good.

Have a cause: This is where things get a little dicey, but you've got to commit. Trump made a point of his to do something about illegal immigration, by calling out Mexico. "When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best...They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us," he said. "They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists."

Steal your competitor's music: Trump played Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" at his campaign launch event. Only problem? Young not only did not authorize its use, but he's also a supporter of presidential candidate Bernie Sanders. Mere details.

Cut ties with deadweight traitors: After offending an entire group of people, it's best to go big or go home, right? So what if not everyone is on board with your vision? First, Univision decided not to air the Trump-owned Miss USA pageant, and was swiftly followed by Mexican broadcaster Televisa and NBC, which officially cut ties with him, dropping both the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants and firing Trump from his own Celebrity Apprentice. And oh yeah, dropping those pesky relationships with NASCAR and ESPN helps, too. Throw in banning Univision employees from your golf course while you're at it. Who needs 'em?

Attack one of your own winners: Miss Universe Paulina Vega, who is Colobmbian, went to Instagram to denounceTrump's comments about Mexican immigrants. Not one to keep quiet, Trump reacted in the completely adult fashion by calling her a hypocrite. That showed her!

Target so-called heroes: Insulting one group (see above) isn't enough. Stick to that commitment and insult whoever America may hold dear, no matter how illogical it may be as long as it makes you look like the bigger man. Trump set his sights on Senator John McCain, saying that "He's not a war hero.He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren't captured, OK? I hate to tell you."

When in doubt, deny, deny, deny: Why let the facts get in the way of your current narrative? According to Trump he never said that McCain isn't a war hero, which any video playback will prove otherwise.

Incorporate the art of deflection: Again, facts are not really necessary when running for president. When discussing his numerous deferments to join the military, Trump notes that he had a medical issue - a bone spur, specifically - though....he can't remember what foot it was. "Uh you'll look it up in the records. It's in the records," he said helpfully.

Play it totally "fair": After being called a '"jackass" by Sen.Lindsay Graham, Trump went an eye for an eye and gave out Graham's private cell phone number during a televised rally...and encouraged everyone to call it. "People attack me, I let them have it back," Trump said about his decision to release private information. But hey, fair is fair. Right?!

Use repetitive putdowns: What better way to build a brand than by sticking to a specific catalog of insults? Trump likes to rely on words including "dummy," "loser," and for extra spice "total loser."

Project confidence: There's nothing more reassuring than showing that you are confident in your own worth. In this case, hyperbole is your friend. Take for example Trump's claim that he'll be the "greatest jobs president that God ever created." Who can deny that?

Make comedy icons doubt themselves: .Trump's presidential bid made Jon Stewart reconsider stepping away fromThe Daily Show, but he actually succeeded in making Letterman regret his decision to retire. Shortly after Trump announced he was running, Letterman returned to the comedy stage with a special Top 10 list just for Trump. Nowthat's power!