Question: Was My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss really canceled? — Cathy Ausiello: A Fox rep tells me the last five episodes will be "made available" at a later date. Which is just a coy way of saying it'll get dumped on Fox.com when no one is looking. Or, like Playing It Straight, it'll remain in a state of infinite limbo.
Question: What are the chances that Liza Minnelli will return to Arrested Development as Lucille II? — Chase Ausiello: She's back starting Jan. 23, and this time, the ol' bat is hooking up with Gob (aka Will Arnett)! "Gob decides that he's got to take a hit for the family, so he jumps on that grenade," Arnett recently told my esteemed colleague, Bruce Fretts. "In order to save the Bluth Company, he decides to sleep with Lucille II, and it ends up getting a little more involved than he thought it would. I don't know where it's going to go yet. I'm like a kid in a haunted house on this show and [exec producer] Mitch Hurwitz is my dad saying, 'Don't worry about it, it'll be fine'."
Question: Are the men on Lost ever going to shave? I mean, it has to be a nightmare for the continuity person. — Matt Ausiello: Let's ask exec producer Carlton Cuse: "Obviously, this show is not literally Castaway or Survivor," he told me. "You could easily deconstruct the show on the verisimilitude level. [The shaving thing] is one of those gimmes we hope the audience will let us have." My take? Any guy that can work "verisimilitude" into a sentence deserves to be cut a little slack.
Question: Why do you answer the same questions over and over (Tru Calling for one!) but won't answer mine?? What happened to the show Cracking Up starring Molly Shannon? — Dawn Ausiello: You people are killing me. Look, here's a tip: If your favorite show is MIA for more than six months — and it's not 24, Alias or on cable — chances are very good that it's been axed due to low ratings and/or because it stars Rob Lowe.
Question: I was at the movies recently and saw a trailer for Keri's new movie, The Upside of Anger. When her face came up on the screen, I instantly thought of you. Just thought I'd let you know. — Cat Ausiello: That's funny. I recently saw the trailer and when her face came on the screen, I instantly thought of me, too! What are the odds?
Question: There are rumors going around that both Shannen Doherty and Julian McMahon are going to guest-star in the 150th episode of Charmed this coming February sweeps. True? — Linda Ausiello: No, and I've been sworn to secrecy.
Question: I love this column. Just had to let you know. I think that you should be the new leader of a society of those who love television — a little too much. Apparently there are a lot of us. I will, however, need someone to second my nomination. — Kini Ausiello: The first person to second Kini's nomination gets a Christmas with the Kranks Advent calendar and a Jonny Zero baseball cap, courtesy of Fox. You guys caught me at a good time. I'm holding a swag sale in my cubicle this week and everything (old and lame) must go!
Question: Do you know when One Tree Hill will be back with original episodes? Somebody said it was Jan. 25, but that seems like way too long a break. Is it true? — Christine Ausiello: Yeah. The show took a two-month sabbatical to make room for High School Reunion 3. (And you guys are pissed at me for taking one week off.)
Question: The obvious choice is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Dark hair, great body, etc. — Dana Ausiello: I don't know about you, but my Wonder Woman doesn't hawk cell phones.
Question: How are American Dreams' ratings this season? — Jim Ausiello: A nightmare.
Question: You couldn't just answer a few questions from your laptop wherever you are for the holidays? I'm already going through Christmas-cookie withdrawal, now "Ask Ausiello" withdrawal, too? How much can a girl handle? — Kirsten Ausiello: How about an old-fashioned ass-whoopin'? Can you handle that? Answer a few questions from my laptop? Is that all you think goes into "Ask Ausiello"? Hmmph.
Question: My mother's maiden name is Ausiello. Her mother (Nancy-Nunciatha) and father (Dominic) came from Naples, Italy, to Chicago and ended up in Michigan. Any chance we might be related? — Gaspare Pavia Ausiello: It's possible, but I'll need more info. First off, are you rich?
Question: When will the television show The Sopranos start back up? — Wadene Welch Ausiello: Thanks for being so specific, Wade. I hate it when people send in Sopranos questions and fail to specify whether they're talking about the TV show, the chewing gum, the stage musical or the automobile. Anyway, the television show The Sopranos starts filming its last season this spring, although it won't premiere until some time in 2006.
Question: Do you think the second season of The O.C. is a disappointment? Seem like they're turning it into a Dawson's Creek clone because everyone knows that Ryan and Marissa are meant for each other. — Jimmy Ausiello: In my opinion, the only thing Marissa is meant for is a padded cell. I hated her with Ryan. Major props to Josh Schwartz for putting this relationship out of its misery. As far as the season as a whole, it's hit-and-miss with me. I like that Lindsay turned out to be a Cohen, but I could have done without all the cloak-and-dagger theatrics that led up to the big reveal. (If I had to sit through one more secret meeting between Sandy and Caleb I was gonna seriously hurt someone.) And as much as I dig Adam Brody, there is such a thing as too much Seth Cohen.
Question: Did you see your Felicity gal on the Today show Dec. 21? She was collecting toys for the toy drive and of course, I thought of you. Thanks for all the good laughs. Ciao! — Lisa Ausiello: Damn, I meant to set the TiVo for that. She mentioned that she would be doing the toy-drive thing last month when we had dinner and exchanged cell phone digits.
Question: When does Keri's CBS movie The Magic of Ordinary Days air? — Vickie Ausiello: Jan. 30. Wanna throw a party? I'll bring the peanut-butter fro-yo.
Question: Has anyone ever told you you look like the love child of Jim J. Bullock and Brigitte Nielsen? — James Ausiello: Not to my face, Jim.
Question: Hey, congrats on becoming an uncle! Your brother David isn't in the Navy, is he? — Jo-Ann Ausiello: Why, yes he is, as a matter of fact. He graduated from Annapolis and is currently a PR officer at the Naval War College in R.I. (Picture Kelly from The Apprentice but much more capable of motivating the troops.) He's actually heading out into the civilian world this spring, so if anyone knows of any marketing/PR jobs in the PA/NY/NJ area, let me know ASAP. There may be a commission in it for you. Then again, there may not.
Question: What's the latest on USA bringing back Touching Evil? By the way, you are a cutie! — Lynn Ausiello: Me? A cutie? You're just saying that because it's true. Anywho, I wish I had better news for you about Touching Evil, but the show is gone for good. Sorry.
Question: WHEN JOAN RIVERS DOES HER GOLDEN GLOBES PRE-SHOW FOR THE TV GUIDE CHANNEL, WILL IT BE FULL-SCRREN OR THE ANNOYING HALF-SCREEN. I NOMALLY DON'T MIND THE HALF SCREEN, BUT I DON'T WANT IT FOR JOAN ON THE RED CARPET! — JERRY Ausiello: As I mentioned before, I cannot accept questions in this format, Jerry. Please turn off your Caps Lock and resubmit.
Question: I think Charlize Theron would make a great Wonder Woman! She is hot, tall and, well, has the cleavage! — Marie Ausiello: Um, have you seen Monster? I don't know about you, but my Wonder Woman uses face cream.
Question: After reading your comments on Showtime canceling Dead Like Me, I speed-dialed DirecTV and canceled my Showtime subscription. Now, like the show, Showtime is dead, too! — Craig Guinasso Ausiello: OK, but don't come crawling to me in May asking, "How awful is Queer as Folk this season?"