Question: Since Callie Thorne is going to be on ER (Ask Ausiello 10/19), does that mean she is leaving Rescue Me? Answer: Nope. "It worked out perfectly," she tells me. "I [finish ER] in the beginning of January, and then I go back to Rescue Me in mid-February."
Question: I need some damn good Everwood spoilers! Answer: This should satisfy you: Ephram and Amy will do the deed (read: the dirty deed) before the show goes on its winter hiatus in December. (Sorry, Reid.)
Question: Dude, how freakin' spit-out-your-Snapple hilarious is The Office!? Answer: Pretty spit-out-your-Snapple hilarious, Eric. Steve Carell is a riot. Sure, he's no Ricky Gervais, but dang-it, he comes pretty close. That said, someone needs to rein in Rainn Wilson a smidge and explain to him the difference between over-the-top funny and over-the-top obnoxious. I'd be happy to give him some pointers.
Question: I just want to thank you for using the word "poop" 21 times in your column last week; it made my week.Answer: S--t, did I really use it that many times?
Question: Any Nip/Tuck pooplets? Answer: A few. Next week, Joan Rivers drops by Julia and Gina's new spa with a business proposal (paging QVC… ). Vanessa Redgrave resurfaces on Dec. 6 to have it out with her daughter. And the season finale — written and directed by series creator Ryan Murphy — will air as a two-hour event on Dec. 20. Oh, and The Carver is... I better whisper this to you. Come closer. Closer. Closer. Oh, forget it. It's (inaudible)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Question: What's the real reason (censored) is leaving Lost? Answer: I'll say this: It wasn't his/her decision.
Question: What the hell?! I just read that a major character will be leaving Veronica Mars and some fans will not be happy. Any scoop? Answer: First I'm hearing of it. When I spoke to Rob Thomas back in June (Ask Ausiello 6/22), he denied rumors that a principal cast member was getting cut. He did, however, acknowledge that "in order to make the budget work, a number of actors on the show lost a few episodes in their contracts." For example, Francis Capra (Weevil) will only appear in 12 episodes this season, down from 16 last year. I suppose one way to accommodate such a shortfall would be to send Weevil on vacation for a few months, but that's pure speculation. I'll let you know if I hear anything else.
Question: The upcoming death on Lost has to be one of the biggest nonsecrets ever. Now to my point: I know who it is, but tell us a little something about how it happens, or who it's by? Answer: (SPOILER ALERT) I hear it's pretty gruesome. And the killer will be featured rather prominently in an upcoming issue of TV Guide magazine.
Question: You said that there are no plans for J.J. Abrams to write or direct any Losts this season, but what about Alias? Please tell me he will write and direct the season/series finale? Answer: Good question. Let's ask him. "Given the [M:I 3] schedule, my day-to-day involvement in Alias and Lost this season has been minimal," he told me via e-mail. "While I would truly love nothing more than to film the series finale, I think I'll be in the depths of M:I 3 postproduction, and therefore unavailable — which would be depressing." Indeed it would be.
Question: I heard that Jeff Probst may be leaving Survivor. Is there any truth to that? Answer: I cornered Mark Burnett earlier this month at TV Guide's full-size mag bash here in New York City and he basically told me that the rumors are true, adding, "I believe in my gut that he will move on [after the next edition]." He also half-nodded when I asked him whether Jeff's shoes would likely be filled by a former female Survivor contestant, so that rumor's apparently true as well. I, for one, hope they go with Deb Eaton. She was a real kick in the pants.
Question: OK, you need to tell us what's going on with Hannah on Everwood. Is she leaving the show? Answer: You'll know soon enough. Sorry, but I ain't spoilin' this one for you.
Question: So, with the brand spankin' new gossip terminology in play, can we officially refer to you as the "poop scooper"? Answer: I suppose, if you must.
Question: Hi there! Will we ever see that mother on How I Met Your Mother? Answer: Yes, but I'm not telling you when. At least not until someone at CBS tells me. Then maybe I'll tell you.
Question: Any word on whether we'll see flashbacks of Ana-Lucia, Libby and the other passengers from the back of the plane on Lost? Answer: I'm pretty sure Ana-Lucia's is set for Nov. 16, but if that turns out not to be the case you can bet I'll go in and delete this question/answer from the Ask Ausiello archives.
Question: Stop with the USC poop already. Irish fans were robbed. I was at that game as well. I hope you were heckled. Answer: No, but someone did throw a hot-dog bun at my head for the first time since high school.
Question: I know that One Tree Hill is not your favorite show, but can you please give us some spoilers? Answer: I'll let my colleague, Damian Holbrook, do the honors, since, like you said, I find OTH to be borderline unwatchable. "Tyler Hilton is back as Chris Keller, the musician who drove Nathan and Haley apart. Lucas is going as Tommy Lee to the Halloween party at Tric. Dan will be getting a very interesting opponent in his bid for mayor. Expect a huge power struggle between Brooke and a new girl, who may want more than just Brooke's position on the cheerleading squad. Haley will finally take action after Peyton's slams about letting Nathan push her too far." All together now: "Thank you, Damian."
Question: I use to be a big fan of yours until I found out you went to 'SC. I'm surprised that you can write. Just wait till the UCLA-USC game. Go Bruins! Answer: I'm going to take the high road here and just congratulate you on your strong season thus far and say I look forward to a competitive matchup between our two schools on Dec. 3. Oh, and I gather from your e-mail that UCLA has finally wired its campus for Internet access. Or did you read Ask Ausiello at your parents' house? Either way, welcome to the 21st century, Wayne!
Question: Who is going to die on Las Vegas? It's not Mary, is it? Please say it's not Mary. Answer: (SPOILER ALERT) It's not Mary.
Question: Tell me it's not true! Luke can't have a (CENSORED) on Gilmore Girls. What next? Taylor and Michel are having an affair? The phrase "jump the shark" is coming to mind. Answer: Let's not play the shark card — or the Taylor-Michel shagging card, for that matter — until we actually see how the story plays out on-screen, OK? And, for the record, I don't know for a fact that this mystery person — who turns up on Nov. 15, not Nov. 22 as first thought — is actually Luke's long-lost (CENSORED). But this much I can tell you: I hear the pivotal episode — written and directed by ASP herself — is one of the best of the year, if not ever. So, let's all take a deep breath and reserve judgment for the morning of Nov. 16, mmmmkay?
Question: I'm pooped out.Answer: Me, too. See you guys back here next week.
Question: I would love an Ask Ausiello T-shirt. Did you get your 10 e-mails of support? Answer: And then some, Annette. Let's just say the words "mall kiosks" are being tossed around.
Question: Is this Smallville's last season? Answer: Um, have you seen the ratings? I'm guessing no.