michael.ausiello

I'd like to offer you a ...

Question: I'd like to offer you a trade: some shiny new Lost scoop in exchange for my grade-A, 100 percent genuine, completely unblemished immortal soul. Whaddaya say?Answer: Throw in a pint of Cake Batter-flavored Tasti D-Lite and a $100 gift card to Best Buy and you've got yourself a deal! Just kidding — I'm not allowed to accept gifts in exchange for scoop unless you send the gifts to me at home and don't tell anyone. Now, as I bragged informed you in the Ausiello Report, I've already seen tonight's season premiere and you guys are in for a treat of epic proportions. The episode was fraktastic. Damon Lindelof and J.J. Abrams' sc

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

No kidding... I was cursing ...

Question: No kidding... I was cursing that damn towel last Thursday on Grey's! How long is McSteamy sticking around for?! Answer: As I told you five months ago (!!!), he's sticking around for good — and not just because Eric Dane happens to possess 16-pack abs. The fact that Dr. Mark is a plastic surgeon allows Shonda Rhimes to expand the show's medical stories into Nip/Tuck territory. I'm told that upcoming cases will include a sex-change operation, a request for an unusual set of implants and a tattoo removal.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

What can you tell us about ...

Question: What can you tell us about where the Others are living? And where are Kate, Jack and Sawyer being held captive? Is it predictable? Astounding? Give us something, please!Answer: First off, nothing about the episode is predictable, particularly where the Others are concerned. In fact, I'll go so far as to say your perception of the creepy outcasts will be completely shattered within the first five minutes. I should also point out that one of the show's three newbies is featured very prominently tonight, and let's just say this rookie made an extremely favorable impression on me. (Best. Casting. Decision. Ever.) And as I mentioned in AR, a grilled cheese sandwich also gets a good deal of airtime, as does a very familiar-looking dude named Ben. Oh, and one more thing: someone comes out of the closet. I think. Keep your ears attuned (and turn your gaydar on) right

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

We've seen in the previews ...

Question: We've seen in the previews that Jack opens a door and then water comes gushing out. Is this another hatch? Is this particular scene in the premiere?Answer: It's a five-letter word that starts with H, but it's not "hatch." And yes, that particularly scene is in the premiere.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

OK, in order to answer this ...

Question: OK, in order to answer this question, you will need to work all of your entertainment connections and call in any favors owed to you. Can you try to find out if Saturday Night Live will ever have a funny skit again? Answer: According to several well-placed sources, yes, SNL will have a funny skit again, but it won't air until May 5, 2007. More precisely, it'll be the sketch immediately following guest host Alec Baldwin's opening monologue. Wow, am I good at my job or what!?

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

Vanished scoop, please!

Question: Vanished scoop, please!Answer: You won't have to wait very long to get answers to the biggest mysteries surrounding Sara's disappearance. I'll explain why in the Ausiello Report later today.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

Do you have any info about ...

Question: Do you have any info about whether Michael and Sara are ever going to get together on Prison Break?Answer: I've got four words for you: 1) November, 2) sweeps, 3) hotel, 4) room.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

I thought you said a major ...

Question: I thought you said a major character would die in the season premiere of Veronica Mars. I would hardly call Kendall a major character!Answer: I thought I said semi-major. Can someone vouch for me on this?

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

Please tell me something ...

Question: Please tell me something about Desperate Housewives! What will happen with Mike and Susan?Answer: Nothing good. Mike will awaken from his coma with no recollection of his love for Susan. Enter revisionist historian Edie, who will make Mike think that she was the love of his life pre-coma. Making matters worse, Susan will be on a romantic getaway with Dougray Scott when Mike finally comes to.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

Any Big Love scoop? Like when ...

Question: Any Big Love scoop? Like when the second season starts? Answer: All HBO is saying is that it'll return sometime next year. And when it does, word on the street is that Rhonda (Roman's 14-year-old child-bride-to-be) will play a more central role in the first couple of episodes as her marriage to Roman rapidly approaches. Barb and even Nicki will fight to keep her away from the compound. Also, Bill and Joey are forced to protect Wanda as the search for Alby's poisoner intensifies.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

We all know how you feel ...

Question: We all know how you feel about One Tree Hill, but can you honestly say it's worse than the mess The O.C. has become?Answer: Yes, I honestly can. With a few minor exceptions (that whole Sandy work-based subplot stank), I loved The O.C. last year. And based on the intel I'm receiving about the new post-Marissa era, I think the show will come back in early November as strong as ever — quality-wise, at least. Opposite CSI and Grey's, it'll get decimated in the ratings — which makes this next thing I'm going to tell you all the more unbelievable. I have it on good authority that The O.C. is planning a cheeky crossover with one of its time-slot rivals during November sweeps. Quick, someone ask me which one!

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

Is there any new scoop about ...

Question: Is there any new scoop about whether or not Diane Farr's pregnancy will be written into Numbers?Answer: Yes, there is scoop: It won't be. To conceal Farr's growing belly, sources say Megan will start toting around an extra-large abacus.

Wed, Oct 4, 2006

I've Seen the Lost Premiere! Plus: Housewives' Mystery Solved

OMG!Creepy new buttons! Grilled cheese sandwiches! A dude named Ben! What does it all mean?! I know  and so will you in less than 48 hours! I just finished watching the most anticipated 43 minutes of the TV season (aka Wednesday's Lost premiere) and I'm virtually speechless. From the fraktastic opening sequence to the chilling final moments, the four-star episode (penned by Damon Lindelof and J.J. Abrams) had me teetering on the edge of my swivel chair the entire time. It easily ranks as one of the best Lost eps  possibly the best  since the pilot. An amazing feat since it only features four series regulars! Send me all your questions at askausiello@tvguide.com and I'll do my best to answer them (without pissing off ABC) in Wednesday's Ask Ausiello! OMG! In the meantime, many of you have written to me asking for help translating Orson's cryptic French message to that dead body on last night's Desperate Housewives. Luckily, I have an "in" downstairs at Au Bon Pain...

Mon, Oct 2, 2006

Exclusive! Prison Break Star Quits!

Prison Break is going through Maricruzes like I go through cases of Diet Raspberry Snapple! As I teased in this week's Ask Ausiello, PB producers have recast the role of Sucre's romantically conflicted girlfriend for the second time in a year. Six Feet Under alum Melissa Marsala has been tapped as Maricruz No. 3, replacing Maricruz No. 2, Camille Guaty, who escaped to star on ABC's The Nine. Considering that Maricruz No. 1, Nadine Velazquez, split for a regular role on My Name Is Earl, it's probably a safe bet that a big network show is in Marsala's future. (I hereby nominate J.Lo for Maricruz No. 4!) In the meantime, look for M3 to debut shortly after PB makes its post-World Series return on Oct. 23. Frakkin' baseball.

Fri, Sep 29, 2006

I will give you my first born ...

Question: I will give you my first born if you tell me who Laura is going to kiss on Battlestar Galactica. Or an asterisk quiz. Anything. I'm dying here.Answer: This person attended TV Guide's post-Emmy bash.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

Why did you have to tell us ...

Question: Why did you have to tell us in last week's AA what the NYT said about The Office and the Jim-Pam relationship? I'd been carefully avoiding that info!Answer: Many of you were peeved about that, and I sincerely apologize. I was under the mistaken impression that the spoiler had already been repurposed all over the Web. I should have plastered a huge spoiler warning at the beginning of the answer. My bad.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

ABC is running a Lost promo ...

Question: ABC is running a Lost promo that shows Kate and Sawyer kissing! Answer: Come in close, Kaitlin, I wanna tell you a little secret. [Whispering] Appearances can be very deceiving — especially on Lost. Shhhhhh!!!

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

Anything on The O.C. , ...

Question: Anything on The O.C. , please! Preferably, something on my favorite new character, Taylor.Answer: I just found out the big secret Taylor will be hiding during the first couple of episodes, and it's pretty huge. It's also gonna send her disapproving mother off the deep end.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

If it weren't for your ...

Question: If it weren't for your spoilers, I would have never figured out that when I watched Grey's Anatomy on Thursday, I was actually watching the second episode. I almost lost all faith in you when none of your spoilers appeared, but my faith was restored when I found out about CTV's mix-up.Answer: Shonda should just go ahead and tell me what's coming up for the rest of the season, just in case there's another mix-up.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

You said you did an interview ...

Question: You said you did an interview with Jason Dohring at the CW launch party. Well, where is it?Answer: We had some technical difficulties, but it's up now and working. Promise. And before anyone asks, yes, I asked him to respond to Kristen's controversial comments about Logan not being good enough for Veronica. Believe it or not, it was the first he had heard of it. (And I don't think it made him happy.)

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

You told me to watch Veronica ...

Question: You told me to watch Veronica Mars. I did, and now I think it's fan-frakkin'-tastic! Thanks! But on to another matter: have you heard any prattle about Caprica, the BSG spin-off?Answer: I check in with Sci Fi every day about this, but there's still no word on whether the network has commissioned a pilot.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006

You just got a Lost screener ...

Question: You just got a Lost screener in a brown paper bag? That sounds promising! Any poop prattle you care to dish?Answer: Sadly, that was just an exercise in wishful visualization.

Wed, Sep 27, 2006