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10 Episodes 1985 - 1985
Episode 1
30 mins
Doug plans a trip to outer space.
Episode 2
Tue, Oct 15, 198530 mins
Lisa unintentionally addles Alasdiar's brains after he insults her one too many times, giving him more than a black eye. Now he thinks he's a dog and the girls scramble to put him right. Kids wandering through tropical forests looking for wild animals or lost pets meet Cholk of the Jungle, a grandiloquent Tarzan-like wild man willing to help them. Elsewhere: Vanessa's formula for turning people into mice only half succeeds, Alasdair finds himself on display before a classroom of pet animals, punk rocker Lisa finds protection under an endangered species law, love for animals fortifies Valerie's tolerance of Lance, global franchising of Barth's Burgery threatens to put housecats on the endangered species list, the Camp Counselor conducts a condor hunt, football players Eugene and Alasdair opt to be mice rather than squashed bugs, Vanessa berates Snake-Eyes for his altruism, Barth benefits from a death at a zoo, Alasdair campaigns to save an endangered species, and Lisa gets others to agree that a show about wild life should be more about party animal punks than anything else.
Episode 3
Wed, Oct 16, 198530 mins
Alistair tries to set a world record for eating the most hard boiled eggs.
Episode 4
Thu, Oct 17, 198530 mins
Alasdair tries to "find himself" while Lisa interviews people for a class report on who they want to be. Elsewhere, with many trying to be or becoming someone or something they're not: Lisa's changing identity prevents her from answering roll call, an arcade machine aspires to be something else, Valerie wants your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, chip-off-the-old-block Alasdair dates chip-off-the-old-block's-wife Marjorie, government budget cuts affect Lance and family's entry into the Witness Protect Program, Justin pines for Norway, Christine answers a phone call that isn't a wrong number, the Principal succumbs to the depleting effects of the detention room, Ross exhibits delusions of godhood, older sisters make Justin feel emasculated, Alasdair's older brother thinks he's a bus, Lisa's possessions overwhelm Christine, Justin's drive to become a doctor makes Valerie sick at heart, dress-therapy turns Alasdair around, Justin suffers memory lapses, Christine becomes Lisa to escape a penalty, Alasdair becomes El Capitano to escape gunfire, Justin avoids being his twin brother and suffers accordingly, and the cast helps Alasdair find his true identity - with a dog collar.
Episode 5
Fri, Oct 18, 198530 mins
Hope and despair, positivity and negativity, optimism and pessimism are the contrasting outlooks polarizing the show. Standing before the firing squad, Alasdair is supremely confident all will turn out well while Lisa expects the worst. As Vanessa despairs over her forthcoming blind date, Valerie believes all will be fine - till the boy arrives and switches their attitudes. Mr. Schidtler fears his entire class will fail to graduate till Lisa reminds him of the consequences if they don't. Vanessa finds Doug despairing over the prospect of getting slimed. Lisa declares Christine's hairdresser an optimist for believing in miracles. Alasdair heralds Lisa an optimist for dieting. Lack of rear view mirrors marks Snake-Eyes as a forward thinker. Vanessa dreads her parents' failure to show up at summer camp. Alasdair trusts in the exempting powers of dirty underpants. Valerie believes she can make up for knitting Vanessa a bad sweater; Vanessa does not. The librarian helps Doug find uplifting literature but exacts a large checkout fee for a book she believes Alasdair unlikely to return. Lisa's positive attitude keeps winning her free arcade games, which Blip is optimistic he can fix. Though the doctor demonstrates how modern technology benefits medical professionals, he gives Lisa only a 10% chance of pulling through. A positive attitude fuels Doug and Alasdair's desire to sneak into a theater and see an x-rated movie. And Snake-Eyes sits firmly in his bus against all naysayers that he can deliver more thrills in one ride than a week's worth of schooling.
Episode 6
30 mins
When a secret admirer woos Lisa with gifts, a love letter and tickets to a cruise, Alasdair seems bent up over the situation, declaring his own love for her. Lisa accepts the secret admirer's cruise offer only to discover it's someone with a special proposal in mind. Meanwhile, Doug, dressed as Cupid, aims to spread the love by shooting castmates with his arrows (getting consistently cockeyed results). Elsewhere: Christine falls in love with a new arcade machine, Nasti brings Hodgkins a date, lovesick Alasdair begs to be shot, Vanessa's movie dates with Doug aren't what she expects, the Taj Mahal gets a feminist view, Valerie checks Alasdair's underpants before a date, the Librarian gets the man of her dreams, Alasdair gets the girl of his dreams, Snake-Eyes has a new lady-friend, Christine connives a curfew extension for her night out with Alasdair, Vanessa hires a love letter service, Barth offers daters two-for-half dinner specials, Blip's computer dating machine makes an unlikely match, Lance and Valerie get limits on their night out together from their kids, and a delinquent street punk comes for Lance's daughter.
Episode 7
Tue, Nov 12, 198530 mins
While a number of unreasoning fears are addressed - darkness, loud noises, camping, going to summer camp, flies, monsters under beds, obesity, snakes, mice, being alone, ghosts, open spaces, failure, public speaking, hypodermic needles, height, unhealthy food, dying without clean underwear - a few real ones are noted as well - bullets, bullies, falling slime, over-sized rival teams, the world coming to an end, parental wrath, accident-prone driving, hungry furniture, and discovery of ties with You Can't Do That On Television.
Episode 8
Fri, Oct 18, 198530 mins
Barth goes on vacation, leaving Ma Barth (his mother) and Jean-Paul (his French half-brother) alternately in charge of the burgery, each proving that taste runs in the family. Ross, for a fee, checks out the family trees of all the kids on the show and reveals an unexpected common link between them - they can all be had. Elsewhere: Valerie brings Christine a new little brother (though not another little brother), family ties save Alasdair from a shooting before the firing squad, Nasti delights in the knowledge that extended family can be pure torture, Christine shares her truncated views on dealing with a little sister at summer camp, jolly Uncle Roger "runs a tight ship" while babysitting Alasdair, Schidtler's genealogy lesson reveals what little his class knows about genes, light-fingered Stephanie has her mother's eyes her father's nose and Alasdair's wallet, Adam gets slammed for being a descendant of a telephone pole, descendance from the Wright Brothers proves unfortunate for Alasdair, fashion disasters Christine and Lisa give Cousin Stephanie a makeover, Lance discovers you can never outgrow being your mother's little boy, baseball helps Alasdair discover a way to abide cheek-pinching relatives, and Lisa and Alasdair's inability to avoid a sliming makes Christine suspect they're genetically related.
Episode 9
Thu, Nov 14, 198530 mins
For years of torture, years of indigestible food, years of living with bothersome siblings and working alongside rude castmates, the kids seek revenge: Seizing a marketing opportunity, Ross sells a cereal box labeled Instant Revenge (that works on all but the most wary). Lisa exacts revenge on Christine using the Introduction to the Opposites as a shield. Snake-Eyes shows he can do without the services of an overpriced mechanic. Justin and Lisa get back at Mr. Schidtler for his admonishments against passing notes in class. Alasdair aims to turn the firing squad against El Capitano. Valerie winds up in detention. Marjorie takes Lisa's advice on the best way to get revenge. The kids strike back on overdue library fines. Barth encounters a meal he can't stomach. Blip's new but intolerant arcade game can't abide winners. The Principal visits poetic justice on a school prankster. Justin exacts revenge on a bothersome slumber party. The kids attack Barth with praise. Christine and Lisa reenact their food fight on Alasdair. Justin suffers "Barth's Revenge" at the Burgery. Lisa gets payback on Marjorie for copying her test answers. Alasdair tortures Nasti for a change. Valerie gets back at Lance for slighting her cooking. Christine covers gluttonous Justin in sweet revenge.
Episode 10
25 mins
A big time Hollywood producer plans to make a major motion picture version of the show while the kids go through slime wrenching auditions just to get a part.