The Honeymooners
Ralph Kramden is a New York bus driver who dreams of a better life. With his eccentric good friend, Ed Norton the sewer worker, he constantly tries crazy schemes to strike it rich. All the while, his exasperated wife Alice is always there to bring him down to earth--or to pick him up if he beats her to it. For as much as they fight, even Ralph knows in his heart that she is the greatest part of his life. ... and while he may 'show' a hand and say "you wanna go to the moon Alice?" .... we know he loves her too much for that and Alice knows he's not that kind of a man.
- 1955-1956
- 1 season
- CBS
- Comedy, Family
- TV-PG
Ralph Kramden is a New York bus driver who dreams of a better life. With his eccentric good friend, Ed Norton the sewer worker, he constantly tries crazy schemes to strike it rich. All the while, his exasperated wife Alice is always there to bring him down to earth--or to pick him up if he beats her to it. For as much as they fight, even Ralph knows in his heart that she is the greatest part of his life. ... and while he may 'show' a hand and say "you wanna go to the moon Alice?" .... we know he loves her too much for that and Alice knows he's not that kind of a man.
Season 1 Episode Guide
39 Episodes 1955 - 1956
Episode 0
This is Your Life
Thu, Sep 15, 1955 38 mins
Ralph's jealousy ruins a chance at an appearance on This is Your Life TV show.
Episode 1
TV or Not TV
Sat, Oct 1, 1955 30 mins
Trixie tells Alice that she and Ed are getting a new TV set to replace their old one. Alice is envious and Trixie tells her to give Ralph the 'pipe and slipper' routine to butter him up. Alice's behavior is so unusual for her that Ralph is immediately suspicious. When Ralph finds out the reason behind this he refuses to buy a TV set. It soon becomes apparent that Alice will not let the issue drop and Ralph is forced to deal with it. Ralph and Norton concoct a scheme to pool their money together and buy one set and share it.
Episode 2
Funny Money
Sat, Oct 8, 1955 30 mins
Counterfeiters have lost a suitcase of 'funny money' and have to wait 30 days to retrieve it. Once 30 days have elapsed it becomes the property of the person who found it...Ralph Kramden. When he discovers the contents of the case he goes on a wild spending spree despite Alice's warnings that this doesn't seem right. It isn't long before the gangsters come calling for their loot.
Episode 3
The Golfer
Sat, Oct 15, 1955 30 mins
Ralph wants to be named the new Assistant Traffic Manager at the bus terminal. This is a promotion he feels he has worked hard for and he deserves. In order to ensure it he needs to get in good with Mr. Harper, the man in charge. Harper and Ralph strike up a conversation and with Norton's help he finds himself with a date to play golf...of course Ralph knows nothing about the game of golf.
Episode 4
A Woman's Work Is Never Done
Sat, Oct 22, 1955 30 mins
Alice grows so tired of Ralph's complaining about all the housework not getting done that she decides to go to work and hire a maid.
Episode 5
A Matter of Life and Death
Sat, Oct 29, 1955 30 mins
Ralph worries that he has only six months to live.
Episode 6
The Sleepwalker
Sat, Nov 5, 1955 30 mins
When Norton's sleepwalking through Ralph's apartment disturbs Ralph one time too many, Ralph decides to get to the root of Norton's trouble.
Episode 7
Better Living Through TV
Sat, Nov 12, 1955 30 mins
Ralph's newest get-rich-quick scheme is to sell an all-purpose kitchen gadget. With Norton's assistance, Ralph plans to demonstrate it during a live TV commercial, in order to reach more potential buyers. But Ralph's last-minute stage fright may ruin the commercial.
Episode 8
Pal O' Mine
Sat, Nov 19, 1955 30 mins
A ring that was intended for Norton's new supervisor in the sewer, but that instead gets stuck on Ralph's finger accidentally, is all it takes to jeopardize Ralph's friendship with Norton - until an explosion in the sewer brings Ralph to his senses.
Episode 9
Brother Ralph
Sat, Nov 26, 1955 30 mins
Because of a suggestion he made, Ralph gets laid off. While they're trying to figure out how to cope with the bills, Alice decides to go back to work over Ralph's objections. The real trouble starts when Ralph finds out who has to do the house work, and when Alice's boss comes to the apartment to pick her up.
Episode 10
Hello Mom
Sat, Dec 3, 1955 30 mins
The Kramdens get a telegram from Alice's mother, telling them she was coming for a visit. Ralph is less then pleased and asks to stay with the Nortons. When Trixie pushes Ed to get Ralph to go back to his wife Ed says some things that makes her mad and she goes and stays with Alice. Later Ralph and Alice find out they made a mistake when the read the telegram, and Ralph finds he's put his foot in his mouth.
Episode 11
The Deciding Vote
Sat, Dec 10, 1955 30 mins
There is a Raccoon election going on for convention manager, and it's up to Norton to be the deciding vote.
Episode 12
Something Fishy
Sat, Dec 17, 1955 30 mins
The Raccoons are planning for an annual Raccoon Fishing Trip, and this time, the Raccoons vote not to take their wives. But Alice and Trixie will not stand for being left behind.
Episode 13
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Sat, Dec 24, 1955 30 mins
Ralph sells his bowling ball to get a last-minute Christmas present for Alice.
Episode 14
The Man from Space
Sat, Dec 31, 1955 30 mins
Ralph is determined to win a prize of $50 at the Raccoon Lodge costume. When he competes with Norton in the contest and Alice will have nothing to do with loaning her husband any money to rent a costume, Ralph is forced to make a homemade costume.
Episode 15
A Matter of Record
Sat, Jan 7, 1956 30 mins
Ralph throws Alice's mother out of the apartment, but Alice soon walks out on him, too. In a last ditch effort to save their marriage, Ralph cuts a record to apologize to Alice - and also, reluctantly, to her mother.
Episode 16
Oh, My Aching Back
Sat, Jan 14, 1956 30 mins
Ralph injures his back after a bowling tournament a day before his physical examination.
Episode 17
The Babysitter
Sat, Jan 21, 1956 30 mins
When Alice has a telephone installed, Ralph feels threatened both by her newfound freedom and the prospect of another bill to pay.
Episode 18
The $99,000 Answer
Sat, Jan 28, 1956 30 mins
Ralph's out to prove himself to Alice, his neighborhood, and the world when he becomes a contestant on a hit television game show.
Episode 19
Ralph Kramden, Inc.
Sat, Feb 4, 1956 30 mins
Norton buys stock in a fictional company Ralph is considering starting up called Ralph Kramden, Inc. And when Ralph learns that he is going to receive an inheritance, Norton wants his share as well.
Episode 20
Young at Heart
Sat, Feb 11, 1956 30 mins
After a visit from some teenagers, Alice feels that she and Ralph are starting to get old. She wants Ralph to take her out for some youthful activities, starting with roller-skating. But Ralph thinks the idea is ridiculous, and at first, resists it.
Episode 21
A Dog's Life
Sat, Feb 18, 1956 30 mins
Ralph and Norton discover a mysterious food product that Ralph thinks Alice has made that they decide to dub Krammar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer. Ralph calls it Krammar's because he is considering naming the product not only after himself, but also after his boss at the bus depot, J.J. Marshall. The next day, Ralph takes the mystery snack to Mr. Marshall to get him to taste it. But when he does, the mystery is solved - the snack he had just tried is dog food! Naturally, Ralph is not at all happy.
Episode 22
Here Comes the Bride
Sat, Feb 25, 1956 30 mins
Ralph's lodge brother, Stanley, is about to marry Alice's sister, Agnes. At the Raccoons' bachelor party for Stanley, Ralph warns the young man not to move in with Agnes's parents after the wedding. But this advice backfires when Agnes shows up at the Kramdens' after the wedding reception, sobbing that her new husband has changed into a "beast". Can Ralph get Stanley and Agnes back together without Alice knowing that he was the one who gave Stanley the advice?
Episode 23
Mama Loves Mambo
Sat, Mar 3, 1956 30 mins
A new neighbor moves next door to the Kramdens. This neighbor is a dance instructor and teaches the wives to do the mambo, at their husbands' collective expense.
Episode 24
Please Leave the Premises
Sat, Mar 10, 1956 30 mins
Outraged when he gets a notice from his landlord, Mr. Johnson, that his rent is being raised, Ralph--over Alice's objections--goes on a rent strike to "teach that Johnson a lesson". Unfortunately it's the middle of winter, and when the landlord turns off the heat, water and electricity, it looks like that the only one being taught "a lesson" is Ralph.
Episode 25
Pardon My Glove
Sat, Mar 17, 1956 30 mins
Ralph's birthday is coming up, and he finds out that Alice is planning a surprise party for him. On that day, however, no party materializes and Ralph is, to say the least, disappointed. He's even more disappointed when he finds a man's glove that's not his hidden in a dresser drawer and gets suspicious when Alice seems in a hurry to get him out of the house that night.
Episode 26
Young Man with a Horn
Sat, Mar 24, 1956 30 mins
After Alice finds Ralph's old coronet in the bedroom closet. Ralph remembers lost career chances, and feels discouraged. But after a visit from a kindly, elderly millionaire couple who used to live in the apartment. They help Ralph see that he is still young enough to pursue new opportunities. With Norton's help, Ralph makes a list of all his strong and weak points so that he can correct his faults and become a success.
Episode 27
Head of the House
Sat, Mar 31, 1956 30 mins
Ralph has told a newspaper that he is the head of his household and is forced to prove it to a co-worker of his.
Episode 28
The Worry Wart
Sat, Apr 7, 1956 30 mins
Ralph goes into a panic when he gets a letter from the Internal Revenue Service ordering that he appear at their office the next morning, fearing that the IRS is investigating him for income tax evasion.
Episode 29
Trapped
Sat, Apr 14, 1956 30 mins
Ralph happens to be standing outside a bank when a pair of bank robbers run out and, seeing him, fire a shot at him, knocking his hat off. Afraid that the robbers might find out where he lives, he refuses to tell the police what he saw. The robbers, however, find out anyway and plan a visit to make sure he never tells.
Episode 30
The Loudspeaker
Sat, Apr 21, 1956 30 mins
A few days before the ceremony announcing the selection of Raccoon of the Year, the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of the Raccoons tells Ralph that he will be sitting on the dais that night and to be prepared to say a few words. Ralph, of course, takes this to mean that he is to be named Raccoon of the Year and begins to write his "most humble" acceptance speech.
Episode 31
On Stage
Sat, Apr 28, 1956 30 mins
In order to raise money for the Raccoon Lodge, the lodge members decide to put on a play, and hire a professional director, Mr. Faversham, to direct it. Ralph is given the lead and Alice is given the female lead. Ralph starts "seeing stars" when he learns that Faversham's friend, Hollywood producer Herbert J. Whiteside, is in town looking to cast his new picture and will be attending the play's opening night.
Episode 32
Opportunity Knocks But
Sat, May 5, 1956 30 mins
Mr. Marshall, Ralph's boss, receives a new pool table as a birthday present from his wife. Hearing of Ralph's prowess at pool, he asks Ralph to stop by his house that night to teach him the "fundamentals" of the game. When Norton shows up, Marshall invites him, too. Ralph sees this as an opportunity to "get in good with the boss", but at Marshall's home that night, Norton makes such an impression on Marshall that he offers Norton a job at the bus company as Bus Driver Supervisor--the job that Ralph has been after for a long time.
Episode 33
Unconventional Behavior
Sat, May 12, 1956 30 mins
Ralph and Norton head off to the Raccoon convention in Minneapolis. They lose their wives in the train station and think that they are now traveling alone. Norton has brought along a number of joke items including trick handcuffs, which he promptly puts on himself and Ralph. Not surprisingly, once on they can't get them off which leads to no end of problems, especially when it comes to the sleeping arrangements. In the end, they find out they're on the wrong train and heading in the wrong direction.
Episode 34
The Safety Award
Sat, May 19, 1956 30 mins
Ralph is about to receive an award as the city's safest bus driver. This honor includes a feature story in a major magazine; and a ceremony at City Hall, where Ralph, Alice, and the Nortons will meet the Mayor. But on the way to the ceremony, Ralph gets into an accident, which is actually the other driver's fault. Will the truth come out so that Ralph can accept his award?
Episode 35
Mind Your Own Business
Sat, May 26, 1956 30 mins
Norton loses his job after following Ralph's advice. After hearing Norton's success selling steam irons door to door, Ralph decides to follow in Norton's footsteps.
Episode 36
Alice and the Blonde
Sat, Jun 2, 1956 30 mins
Alice and Trixie feel that their husbands don't notice them any longer. And it doesn't help when they see Ralph and Norton being attentive to the glamorous new wife of Ralph's boss. Alice then decides to imitate her in order to regain Ralph's attention.
Episode 37
The Bensonhurst Bomber
Sat, Sep 8, 1956 30 mins
While Ralph and Norton are playing a game at the pool hall, Ralph gets into an argument with a mousy little guy who threatens to "tell my friend Harvey on you". Ralph, figuring anybody named Harvey who's a friend of this guy must be as wimpy as him, tells the guy to "bring on Harvey" and brags that he'll beat up the both of them. Harvey turns out to be a tough, hulking bruiser, and challenges Ralph to a fight at the local gym. Ralph frantically looks for a way to get out of it.
Episode 38
Dial J for Janitor
Sat, Sep 15, 1956 30 mins
After several janitors have quit working in his building, Ralph decides to take on the job himself. But he finds it a lot tougher and more complicated than he thought it would be.
Episode 39
A Man's Pride
Sat, Sep 22, 1956 30 mins
Ralph meets an old boyfriend of Alice's, who tells Ralph what a great success he now is. Ralph doesn't want to admit that he's only a bus driver, so he pretends he's the head of the bus company. But his pretense may backfire, when Alice's former boyfriend and his wife invite Ralph and Alice to dinner at an expensive restaurant -- a place Ralph cannot afford.
