SCTV Channel

Andrew Alexander

Joe Flaherty

Guy Caballero, Count Floyd, Slade Cantrell, Floyd Robertson, Sammy Maudlin, Arthur Andrew-Leggett, Phillip Marks, President, Vic Hedges, Alan Alda, Announcer, Art Garfunkel as Rooster, Bernard Adler, Captain Highliner, Captain O'Malley, Doctor, Duard Weese, Edward G Robinson, Fairy Godfather, Father Bing Crosby, Guest Weathercaster, Hugh Marshall, Husband, Jack Klugman, Johnny's Father, Jonathan Davie, Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis, MC, Man from The Lottery, Member of The Ramblers, Mitch Miller, Moon Dog Ferguson, Mother Crosby, Mr Jones, Mr. Grimley, Policeman, Publisher, Senor Wences, Senor Wences' Hand Puppet, Ted Ferguson, Tony Labergiole as Carmine, Tony McKay, Vic Hedges as Vic Arpeggio, William F Buckley, Worker, alternate Guy Caballero - David, first caller

Eugene Levy

Various, Alex Trebel, Don Mills

Andrea Martin

Various, Blanche Ray, Marlena Zadora

Martin Short

Various, Cheaplaffs Johnson, Lawrence Orbach

John Hemphill

Happy Marsden, Various, Johnny, Walter Slezak, Wesley Wilks, Willem DeCooney

John Stocker

Staff Announcer

Tony Daniels

Extra

Michael Short

Mike the Bartender

Catherine O'Hara

Clotta White - Special Guest, Essie, Lola Heatherton, Melissa Humphries, Various - Special Guest

Mary Charlotte Wilcox

Idella Voudry, Queen Izera, Woman in focus group

John McAndrew

Various, Bill Cullen, Helmut Schmidt

Dave Thomas

Bob Hope, Mel McElroy, Various - Special Guest

Ron James

Various, Eric Hoffer

Jayne Eastwood

Greta Kubler Cooke, Tony's Wife

Kathleen Laskey

Girlfriend, Marinne

Paul Flaherty

The Pittsburgh Midget

John Candy

Various

Valri Bromfield

Various - Special Guest

Charles Palmer

Frank Bailey

Joe Grifasi

Tommy Lasorda as The Artful Dodger

Andrew Alexander