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Roseanne Season 9 Episodes
Season 9 Episode Guide
24 Episodes 1996 - 1997
Episode 1
Call Waiting
Tue, Sep 17, 199630 mins
After leaving Dan for not taking better care of himself, Roseanne goes on a "spiritual odyssey", imagining herself and Dan as Ann and Donald from "That Girl", Jeannie and Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie", and Mary and Lou from "The Mary Tylor Moore Show". The family tries console Dan, and encourage Roseanne to reconcile with her heart-broken husband. Jackie discovers that they won the Illinois State Lottery worth 108 million dollars.
Episode 2
Millions from Heaven
Tue, Sep 24, 199622 mins
After finding out they won the Illinois State Lottery, the Conners and family imagine how to spend their new-found wealth. Kathleen Sullivan and Robin Leach interview Dan and Roseanne in their home. Throwing a party in their home proves that people really do come out of the woodwork to help celebrate wealth. Dan and Roseanne vow to not let money change who they are.
Episode 3
What a Day for a Daydream
Tue, Oct 1, 199622 mins
While sitting around the dinner table with her family, talking about their lottery winnings, Roseanne daydreams about herself and the family being on "The Jerry Springer Show" (1991), her and Jackie posing for "Playboy," and winning the Miss Universe contest.
Episode 4
Honor Thy Mother
Tue, Oct 8, 199622 mins
Jackie and Roseanne plan an expensive spa vacation. Depressed about his mother, Dan searches for the meaning of life. He decides that now that he can afford it, he wants to take her to California for a thorough evaluation of her psychiatric condition. The crowned Prince of Muldavia sees Jackie on TV and decides he must go to Lanford to meet her.
Episode 5
Someday My Prince Will Come
Tue, Oct 15, 199622 mins
Jackie literally meets her prince charming, who whisks her and the family away to New York City.
Episode 6
Pampered to a Pulp
Tue, Oct 22, 199622 mins
Roseanne and Jackie's relaxing spa weekend turns out to be a disaster.
Episode 7
Satan, Darling
Tue, Oct 29, 199622 mins
After a night of drinking with the New York socialites, Roseanne has a strange dream about the future of Darlene and her baby.
Episode 8
Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti
Tue, Nov 12, 199622 mins
The Conners are invited to a wealthy Cape Cod estate, where Roseanne butts heads with the "old money" set.
Episode 9
Roseambo
Tue, Nov 19, 199622 mins
Roseanne battles a group terrorists holding her family and a foreign diplomat hostage on a train to Washington D.C.
Episode 10
Home Is Where the Afghan Is
Tue, Nov 26, 199622 mins
Thanksgiving for the Conners starts on a sour note with the news Dan won't be able to make it home for the holiday. However, Roseanne is thrilled she can afford to have the meal catered instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen. Family squabbles combined with a shocking revelation by Bev nearly ruins the evening. The family must contend with the fact that money does not necessarily buy happiness.
Episode 11
Mothers and Other Strangers
Tue, Dec 3, 199622 mins
Roseanne misses Dan and tries to prepare the home for his return. Bev visits with Nana Mary to talk about her life and makes a startling discovery.
Episode 12
Home for the Holidays
Tue, Dec 17, 199622 mins
Dan finally returns home after a long stay in California with his ill mother. He, Roseanne, and the entire family realize how much they have to be thankful for as one of the oddest and most trying years of their lives comes to an end. The only problem is how distant and uncomfortable Dan seems to be around Roseanne.
Episode 13
Say It Ain't So
Tue, Jan 7, 199722 mins
Jackie forces Dan to reveal some devastating news to Roseanne while Jackie deals with turmoil in her own relationship. DJ wants to videotape the birth of Darlene's baby.
Episode 14
Hit the Road Jack
Tue, Jan 14, 199722 mins
Dan regretfully packs his bags and prepares to leave home for good. Roseanne deals with her sorrows by driving aimlessly around Lanford.
Episode 15
The War Room
Tue, Jan 28, 199722 mins
When Roseanne falls into a deep depression and locks herself in the bedroom, family and friends try their hardest to pick her spirits back up. When their efforts prove fruitless, they stage an intervention to rouse a lethargic Roseanne out of bed.
Episode 16
Lanford's Elite
Tue, Feb 4, 199722 mins
Roseanne makes a surprising connection with Edgar Wellman Jr., the son of her hated former boss, at a Lanford Country Club party. When he reveals some awful news about the future of Lanford, Roseanne may be the only one who can save her hometown.
Episode 17
Some Enchanted Merger
Tue, Feb 11, 199730 mins
Once the Wellman Plastics buyout is completed, Roseanne is at a loss for what to do when a mutual attraction springs between herself and Edgar Wellman Jr.
Episode 18
A Second Chance
Tue, Feb 18, 199730 mins
Dan is unnerved by rumors of Roseanne and Edgar so he makes a surprise trip to see her. They make some tentative steps to putting the pieces of their marriage back together. Their peace is interrupted when a frantic call comes in from Jackie: Darlene has unexpectedly been rushed to the hospital.
Episode 19
The Miracle
Tue, Feb 25, 199730 mins
Darlene gives birth to a very premature baby girl. The doctors and specialists have very little hope for the baby's survival. The family is crushed but Roseanne is determined to prove pure love, affection, and a tender touch are more powerful than any medicine.
Episode 20
Roseanne-Feld
Tue, Mar 4, 199722 mins
Jackie and Mark attend a female wrestling match, DJ is unprepared when a quiet night with Heather goes farther than expected, and Bev is introduced to a new "friend" named Joyce.
Episode 21
The Truth Be Told
Tue, Mar 18, 199722 mins
The Conners are approached by different network and cable film developers, each hoping to get the right to their "rags to riches" story. What starts out as excitement and enthusiasm for the family, soon dims when they realize that none of the producers they interview with wants to portray them as they really are. A tabloid reporter approaches Beverly, Joan and Leon for stories about Roseanne and her family, and they are only too eager to dish the dirt.
Episode 22
Arsenic and Old Mom
Tue, May 13, 199722 mins
Dan's estranged mother heads straight to Lanford for a visit after she's released from the hospital. However, Dan suspects she's far from cured and is afraid she's trying to kill him.
Episode 23
Into That Good Night, Part I
Tue, May 20, 199722 mins
The Conners welcome baby Harris Conner-Healy home. Roseanne is delighted Darlene wants to live at home and work on her parenting skills. The family talks about their lives after winning the lottery and are glad they have all come out of it stronger people. Over a pizza dinner, Roseanne suggests they say grace to thank God that Harris survived and the family is together again.
Episode 24
Into That Good Night, Part II
Tue, May 20, 199722 mins
Family and friends gather at the Conner house to celebrate baby Harris' Homecoming and everyone takes a turn chatting with the new addition to the family. Mark and Becky have some exciting news, as do Leon and his husband Scott. During dinner, Roseanne takes time to reflect on each member of her family and reveals she has been writing a book; everything we see is Roseanne's altered version of actual events. Roseanne reveals the true story and admits she changed whatever details she didn't like about her life and the people in it. In truth, the Conners never won the lottery; it was all a fantasy Roseanne created in order to cope with a devastating reality. In the final moments, Roseanne sits alone in her basement writing room. She goes upstairs, passing through the old kitchen and the old living room. Roseanne sits on the old couch with the classic afghan on the back and silently takes in the warmth and comfort of the family home as the lights slowly fade.
