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Roseanne Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
25 Episodes 1992 - 1993
Episode 1
Terms of Estrangement: Part 1
Tue, Sep 15, 199224 mins
Becky is upset after Mark gets a job offer in Minnesota and Dan is forced to close the bike shop.
Episode 2
Terms of Estrangement: Part 2
Tue, Sep 22, 199224 mins
Becky and Mark return to Lanford to get their stuff after eloping.
Episode 3
The Dark Ages
Tue, Sep 29, 199230 mins
Dan and Roseanne look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night.
Episode 4
Mommy Nearest
Tue, Oct 6, 199230 mins
After Bev sells her house and gives Roseanne and Jackie each $10,000, the girls balk at the thought of their mother moving to Lanford.
Episode 5
Pretty in Black
Tue, Oct 13, 199230 mins
Darlene's 16th birthday sees new neighbors moving in next door and an embarrassing game of truth or dare for Roseanne.
Episode 6
Looking for Loans in All the Wrong Places
Tue, Oct 20, 199224 mins
Intent on opening a loose meat restaurant, Roseanne and Jackie are forced to turn to Bev for financial assistance.
Episode 7
Halloween IV
Tue, Oct 27, 199230 mins
Roseanne is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future when she can't get into the spirit of things like usual.
Episode 8
Ladies' Choice
Tue, Nov 10, 199230 mins
Roseanne is upset over Bev moving into a retirement community; meanwhile, Nancy announces she is a lesbian.
Episode 9
Stand on Your Man
Tue, Nov 17, 199230 mins
Arnie returns to Lanford to try to win Nancy back, and Roseanne enrolls in a self-defense course after being harassed by a stranger at the Lunch Box.
Episode 10
Good Girls, Bad Girls
Tue, Nov 24, 199230 mins
Roseanne permits Darlene to accompany next-door neighbor Molly to a concert in Rockford.
Episode 11
Of Ice and Men
Tue, Dec 1, 199230 mins
D.J. joins a pee wee hockey team and Jackie breaks up with Fisher.
Episode 12
It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays
Tue, Dec 15, 199230 mins
A Christmas Eve snowstorm keeps Roseanne, Jackie, Bev and Nana Mary snowed in at the diner and Darlene at David's place, where she gets an eye-opening view of his home life.
Episode 13
Crime and Punishment
Tue, Jan 5, 199330 mins
Part 1 of 2: D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principal, but dreads it, because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his raunchy magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more twisted; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique way.
Episode 14
War and Peace
Tue, Jan 12, 199324 mins
Part 2 of 2: Dan gets bailed out of jail by an amused Darlene, while rumors fly from wild to wilder, as to why he was arrested. Jackie learns why Dan was arrested, and finds herself both angry with, and touched by Dan's protective gesture. Overwhelmed, and feeling like things are moving too fast, Jackie leans on Roseanne to help her move out of Fisher's apartment. Roseanne lovingly declares that her family is officially "Poor White Trash".
Episode 15
Lanford Daze
Tue, Jan 26, 199330 mins
The Conners prepare for the 'Founding Fathers Day' celebration in Lanford. Roseanne sets up a food booth, where she meets the one and only, Loretta Lynn. D.J. and his Woodchuck Troup, put on the town play reenacting the signing of Lanford's incorporation. Their family's own founding father, Dan, gets a job selling hot tubs. And last, but not least, Darlene protests the Conners' involvement in the whole "meat industrial complex" with vandalism at her mother's diner that lands her in more than just hot water.
Episode 16
Wait till Your Father Gets Home
Tue, Feb 9, 199330 mins
The death of their father finds Jackie a basket case and Roseanne resolving some long-buried issues, meanwhile Bev meets her husband's mistress.
Episode 17
First Cousin, Twice Removed
Tue, Feb 16, 199324 mins
Roseanne dreads the arrival of her estranged cousin Ronnie. Joan Collins guest-stars.
Episode 18
Lose a Job, Winnebago
Tue, Feb 23, 199330 mins
Needing a vacation, Roseanne and family hitch a ride to California with the next door neighbors in their Winnebago.
Episode 19
It's a Boy
Tue, Mar 2, 199324 mins
David's parents are moving to Chicago, but David doesn't want to join them. Darlene asks if David can move in with the Conners, but Roseanne and Dan declare it out of the question. Roseanne later learns that David is planning to just run away, so she meets with his mother who comes off as a mean and abusive drunk. She treats David so poorly that Roseanne changes her mind and allows David to move into the Conner house.
Episode 20
It Was Twenty Years Ago Today
Tue, Mar 9, 199330 mins
Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary, but struggle with what to give one another. Dan finds out that Roseanne has decided on something expensive for him, so in order to get Roseanne a nice gift too, he takes a temporary job at Maury's Big and Tall store. His gift idea (and the job to pay for it), which seemed like a good idea at the time, soon blows up in his face.
Episode 21
Playing with Matches
Tue, Mar 23, 199322 mins
Tired of having their Mom hanging around them all the time, Roseanne and Jackie try to encourage a relationship between Beverly and Jake, her friend from the retirement community they both live in. Molly comes on to, and kisses David, making him nervous and uncomfortable. To back her off, David confesses the plans he and Darlene have for the future, like possibly dropping out of school and running away together. Having seen and overheard this strange exchange, D.J. confronts Darlene with what he knows, and asks her if any of it is true, prompting Darlene ponders David's fate.
Episode 22
Promises, Promises
Tue, Apr 6, 199330 mins
After some prodding from (and striking deals with) her Mom, Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David, where she has a surprise deal of her own for her boyfriend. Roger attempts to strike a deal with Dan, using the temptation of being able to make him a ton of money, but is met with a mixed reaction from the Conners. Roseanne attempts a surprise fix-up between Jackie and Roger for a couples' night out, but to Roseanne's surprise, Roger shows up with a date. His choice of date is a jaw-dropping, shock to everyone.
Episode 23
Glengarry, Glen Rosey
Tue, May 4, 199330 mins
When it looks like the fixer-upper house Dan has invested in is going to pay off, the Conners are on top of the world. But when the buyer backs out, and one partner skips out, and the bills are due on the project-house, that world threatens to come crashing down. Pushed by Beverly's latest attempt at driving Jackie insane, Jackie finally blurts out to her Mom that she has been seeing a psychiatrist. Nancy decides she wants to have a baby, but her chosen sperm-donor turns out to be a real rotten egg. An unlikely source rides in who just may save the day for the Conners.
Episode 24
Tooth or Consequences
Tue, May 11, 199324 mins
D.J. comes running in the house with a skinned knee. Dan and Roseanne take him to the kitchen to get fixed up, but when Dan slings open the freezer door to get ice, he accidentally hits Roseanne in the face, knocking out a tooth. After a few failed attempts earlier in their relationship, Darlene and David finally have sex for the first time. They also get the responses to their college applications. David doesn't get in, but Darlene does, prompting her to hide the truth... at first. Determined to be allowed to go to this art school in Chicago, Darlene enlists her Aunt Jackie's help to try and talk Roseanne into letting her go. Dan gets a job with the City.
Episode 25
Daughters and Other Strangers
Tue, May 18, 199324 mins
Roseanne worries that Darlene may be planning to run away from home; new neighbor George befriends D.J.