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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 11 Episodes
Season 11 Episode Guide
13 Episodes 1999 - 1999
Episode 1
Soultaker
Sun, Apr 11, 199993 mins
Why is the Satellite of Love malfunctioning? Who is the hooded figure that wants Bobo's soul? What is the purpose of the mystery ship following the SOL? Find out in MST3K's eleventh season opener, featuring the Joe Estevez epic "Soultaker."
Episode 2
Girl in Gold Boots
Sun, Apr 18, 199993 mins
In order to impress the Bureau of Mad Scientists Pearl unleashes the mephitic "Girl in Gold Boots" a Poorly acted, and even worse edited tale of a girl who attempts to make it big in LA as a dancer with the help of a petty thug. The dancers dress in oven bags, and bad guys are especially greasy and in the end it's got Mike and the bots dressing like mobsters and brain guy starts go go dancing!
Episode 3
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
Sun, Sep 12, 199992 mins
A grandfather tells his grandson several horrifying stories involving the wizard Merlin and a stolen monkey doll in Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996). Crow and Tom review each other, Servo accidentally turns Mike into an infant with magic, and the crew shows off a collection of Ernest Borgnine children's books.
Episode 4
Future War
Sun, Apr 25, 199993 mins
The guys take a crack at Future War (1997) in which a man formerly enslaved by aliens escapes to modern-day Los Angeles but is being tracked by cyborgs and their trained dinosaurs. Mike and the Bots thank Pearl for not killing them which derails her plans. Tom makes himself a pair of legs so he can kick-box.
Episode 5
Blood Waters of Dr. Z
Sun, May 2, 199992 mins
Crow takes a liking to smokeless tobacco until Pearl's love deprivation tests give him abandonment issues that only hot pads and a staple remover can cure. While fishing and risking explosive decompression, Crow verbally declares world domination through flesh eating shoes. Servo and Crow then try convincing Mike unsuccessfully that all scenes in every movie would be better if the actors/actresses were nude. Mike shows his defiance again when he argues against the protective cannisters at the end of the movie - apparently, Mike doesn't care if his 20' party sub gets ruined while crawling through the Amazon jungle. Finally, Pearl reveals her most diabolic plot yet - the Mer-Monkey, but a visit from Barnicle Bob proves the opposite effects of the experiment.
Episode 6
Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
Sun, May 9, 199990 mins
A smarmy professor and his dimwitted students camp out in an Arkansas swamp to search for Bigfoot in "Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues (1983)." Pearl makes up her own urban legend, Tom takes up whittling, and Crow tends to his fires.
Episode 7
Track of the Moon Beast
Sun, Jun 13, 199997 mins
In "Track of the Moon Beast (1976)," a mineralogist is hit by a meteor which causes him to transform into a lizard-monster. The Bots rush the Halloween season on the SOL and devote an episode of Legends of Rock to "The Band That Played California Lady."
Episode 8
Final Justice
Sun, Jun 20, 199993 mins
Joe Don Baker, clad in stereotypical cowboy garb tracks down an Italian mobster on the island of Malta. Meanwhile, Tom's dissatisfaction with the Yes song "Owner of a Lonely Heart" leads to the question of how it stacks up against everything else in the world. In Castle Forrester, Pearl tries to promote a loose work environment to increase productivity but her whimsy only makes the SOL feel sad and achy. The lack of continuity in the first portion of the movie resorts in the Bots complaining to Pearl while Mike demonstrates their point by tripping uncontrollably. Goosio then decides to visit the SOL as a good will ambassador but the Bots hate cute with a vengeance. Crow later presents his report on the island of Malta, which starts with basic facts and leads to a hatred fueled rant about how much Crow hates Maltese men. In the end, considering what happened the last time a Joe Don Baker movie was shown on the SOL, Mike is under the impression it's his turn to escape like Joel but the Bots rain on his parade by pointing out that he's sitting in the water heater. Back down in Castle Forrester, Pearl is determined to create a looser atmosphere by promoting Funny Dress-Up Day, but Observer didn't get the memo.
Episode 9
Hamlet
Sun, Jun 27, 199993 mins
William Shakespeare's classic play comes partially to life in this Made for German TV production. During Mike's introduction to the viewers, Tom announces he's changed his name to Htom Sirveaux (sounds the same, but it's not). Pearl's development of a new deadly virus that can kill off half the world's population by next morning is forgotten when Mike hustles Pearl into sending him a movie of his choice, though he should've been more specific with his suggestion. Crow and Tom try pretending to be the ghost of Mike's father, except that Mike's father is alive and well. The Bots begin storyboarding their own productions of Hamlet and even go as far as enacting an all musical instrument version to Mike. Mike and the Bots then play a rousing game of "Alas Poor, Who?" and have to try identifying a famous celebrity based solely on one of their bones. In the end, the Bots reveal their Hamlet action figure complete with a dialogue pull string, but the string is a little longer than Mike is used to. Since he wasn't featured in this production of Hamlet, Fortinbras comes to Castle Forrester insisting he be allowed to play his part but needs a spare body to do so. Pearl offers her help by having him sample her virus.
Episode 10
It Lives by Night
Sun, Jul 18, 199997 mins
A man gets bit by a bat and turns into a horrible man-bat because, after all, isn't that what happens to everyone? Meanwhile on the SOL, Mike and the Bots plan to repaint the place and figure out how colors affect their emotions. Pearl then douses the crew with a mutating poison and the crew find themselves suffering from various side-effects despite Pearl's denial of the whole thing. Crow then becomes offended when Mike and Tom feel the heroine from the movie looks more like Mary Tyler Moore than he does (even though his hair is a wig), but he gets even when he and Tom inject several rabies vaccination shots into Mike's stomach. It turns out he just fell asleep while eating a creme puff though. Mike then tries to grow a mustache again based on the doctor from the movie and Pearl is only slightly impressed before Crow's bigger mustache proves to be much more impressive. In the end, Tom receives a disappointing package from the Buddy Ebsen Hat Distressing Corporation, but Observer and Prof. Bobo have it worse when Pearl shows them a slide show based on all of her ex-husbands, all of whom have died horrible deaths.
Episode 11
Horrors of Spider Island
Sun, Jul 25, 199991 mins
A spider bitten dance producer terrorizes his bikini clad dancers after they're stranded on an island while on their way to Singapore. Meanwhile, Crow publishes his own syndicated column in the Boston Globe, though it's not as substantial as Larry King's. In order to save money on her monkey license, Pearl has Castle Forrester moved to a nicer neighborhood though not with Observer's help, which has certain financial consequences. She later has to move back when she learns she can't dump garbage out her window. After getting caught in a giant spider web, Mike plays the role of dance producer and has Pearl and her minions audition to join his own Singapore-bound troop. Then, after recreating the plane crash from the movie to test a theory, Mike gets bitten by a giant spider and becomes one himself though the resemblance isn't nearly as apparent to Tom and Crow. In the end, Pearl has to explain the birds and the bees to Prof. Bobo.
Episode 12
Squirm
Sun, Aug 1, 199992 mins
A short depicts the importance of springs by a satanic spring sprite to an unappreciative doughy guy while a Georgia town is terrorized by electrified flesh eating worms the same day a northern interloper comes to town. During the movie breaks, Mike and the bots check the SOL's safety equipment, all of which have already been used for either gym class or shooting it off in Mike's face. The crew is then terrorized by Mikey, the Mike sprite after Crow wishes Mike didn't exist for the sake of argument. Down in Castle Forrester, Pearl throws her first annual Castle Forrester Fair, which involves low altitude bungee jumping and fried ape hair. Tom finds the southern atmosphere of the movie contagious until Mike injects him with pastrami and Crow mimics the younger sister with the patchy pants and platform shoes, but he goes a little overboard with the shoes. Mike then uses the ship's reactor to turn his own worm collection into a race of flesh eaters, which ultimately fries them all into tasty crispy hors d'oeuvres. Crow is assigned to make the dipping sauce.
Episode 13
Diabolik
Sun, Aug 8, 1999
Pearl accidentally destroys the device controlling the Satellite of Love, sending the ship into a deadly trajectory towards Earth, but Mike and the Bots have enough time to watch one last film: the '60s Euro-spy classic "Danger: Diabolik (1968)."