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26 Episodes 1970 - 1971
Episode 1
Mon, Sep 14, 197052 mins
Sketches include Intro to Lily's tasteful lady and Ruth's friendly lady (hooker), Art's employment agency, Cocktail party, Tyrone F. Hornie and Gladys, Dick Martin swizzlers, Sneak a peek at stiffie, Art and the electric chair, News of the past, present, and future, and Jilly says goodnight. Featuring Art Carney, Chet Dowling, Jilly Rizzo, and Carol Ann Richards.

Episode 2
Mon, Sep 21, 197052 mins
Don Rickles helps the cast look at the Weird World of Showbiz Entertainment, including Funny George's Used Joke Lot; Swizzlers; prison lineup; has Dick Martin been drafted?; Ruth Buzzi as an aging stripper; quickies; frog health issues; Suzy Sorority; cast members praise David Frost; Tyrone and Gladys on board an airplane in mid-flight; Ernestine telephones business magnate Aristotle Onassis; Don Rickles suffers verbal ribbing over his movies; Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award points at the American Medical Association; Dennis Allen quiets a rumor; Ruth and Barbara Sharma dress as wooden soldiers to introduce the news; Dan and Dick in Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice movie runners; cocktail party; maternity ward runners with parents gaping at newborns Barbara and Don; body graffiti; recruiting sergeant runners; how a television show is created; and Arte's German weather map. Chet Dowling, David Frost, Lisa Moore, and Jilly Rizzo are featured.

Episode 3
Mon, Sep 28, 197051 mins
Goldie Hawn returns for one more segment as a cast member; others sing of rumors about Goldie's life; Barbara Sharma asks Goldie to show her around the studio and introduce her to the natives; cocktail party; a look at women's liberation and women in the U.S. Army; Sparkle Farkel brings her fiance to meet the family; fake commercial; Gladys and Tyrone; Ruth and Lily drop out; female regulars dress as Goldie to introduce the news of the past, present, and future, which Goldie presents; Ernestine Tomlin phones Mae West; Aristotle and Jackie Onassis, Dame Elizabeth Taylor, and Sir Richard Burton all hang out together; Swizzlers; busybody Buzzi broadcasts the Hollywood gossip; quickies; Joke Wall finale.. Jilly Rizzo appears.

Episode 4
Mon, Oct 5, 197052 mins
Cocktail party; quickies; Dan and Dick as inept bank robbers; Suzy Sorority; Ken Berry and Barbara Sharma tap dance intro to the news of the past, present, and future; Edith Ann; Ken and Lily Tomlin introduce Marvin the Magnificent; Wolfgang chats with Jilly Rizzo; Ruth Buzzi's friendly lady quickie; Catholic priest and nun runner; Ernestine calls the Penn Central Railroad; Tim Conway blackouts; Dick as a Hollywood reporter; Swizzlers; Ken as a tap dancer, a stockbroker, and King Henry VIII at his worst in skits; Clarence and Claire Voyant marrieds; the Mod, Mod World of the funeral business; Ken has various telephone problems; Dennis Allen plays in a traveling basketball game; and the United States Department of the Interior receives the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award. Chet Dowling and Linda Redfern appear.

Episode 5
Mon, Oct 12, 197060 mins
Guest Tim Conway plays a typist with wastebasket troubles in office runners, as well as a caveman, a ballet dancer, a hard hat, the gatekeeper at TV Show Heaven, and Flipper, the long-lost member of the Farkel family. Dan and Dick introduce Tim to new cast members; Alan Sues and Henry Gibson play Mounties; quickies; Dick describes his Uncle Luke the milkman; cocktail party; Tim discusses the cancellations of his various TV shows; new talent is the Ransohoff Twins from Gary, Indiana; Edith Ann samples beer; Henry recites his baked beans poem; Eskimo runners; Farkel family; a verbal address from the Resident of the U.S., who is actually Dick Martin; Tim and Ruth Buzzi dress as ballet dancers to introduce the news; busybody Buzzi dishes on Hollywood actors' insurance policies; a salute to the world of alcohol; and Dick closes the show by telling late comers who appeared on the show tonight. Jilly Rizzo says goodnight.

Episode 6
Mon, Oct 19, 197051 mins
Cocktail party; quickies; breakfast in bed runners; Arte plays a magician; Suzy Sorority makes an appearance; Dick Martin and Ruth Buzzi's Swizzlers characters return; Gladys Ormsby dishes on fashion trends and then places a belly dancer with Tyrone as her only audience member; director Dan Rowan auditions Zero Mostel to play Hamlet; Alan Sues takes a turn as Cinderella's fairy godmother; Zero and the female regulars dress as Russian dancers to introduce the news; Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award goes to a senator's wife for blasting the education system; Dennis Allen plays a toothache patient in doorknob runners; Zero pantomimes a typical day in the life of a family man and breadwinner seeking peace and quiet; a look at the Mafia begins with Zero and the cast in formal wear performing the Naughty Mobster Tango; Barbara Sharma in toaster runners; Ernestine wants her pal Venetia to join her for cocktails with grabby Mr. Ziflanger; and a visit with the Big White House on the Hill and its current occupant. Don Ho and David Frost are featured.

Episode 7
Mon, Oct 26, 197052 mins
Halloween special Boo-In sketches include Things that go bump in the night song, Ruth the fortune teller, Orson and Alan's monster sketch, Spooky cocktail party, Vincent on the joke wall, Trick or treat runners, Orson goes to the dry cleaner's, and Witch burning. Featuring Orson Welles, Billy Barnes, and Vincent Price.

Episode 8
Mon, Nov 2, 197052 mins
The cast welcomes Carol Channing in clown outfits with the song "Good to Be Here with Carol"; housewife Lily tires of leftovers but receives help from Alan; Dick plans an adulterous double date with Dan and two girls; Carol as an unsympathetic nurse; Dick as a grumpy clothing salesman; Dick and Ruth as subway riders in an escalating conflict that begins with Dick's burning cigar; Broadway (?) cocktail party; Dennis' floating basketball game; the cast salutes mothers; Tasteful Lady, Suzy Sorority, and Ernestine; Whistler's Mother; Swizzlers at Dan's bar; psychiatrist Dan hears cast members' problems; Carol impersonates Marlene Dietrich to sing the theme of the News of the past, present, and future; Busybody Buzzi dishes on Sir Richard Burton in Hollywood; Big Alan's sports update; Johnny Brown's Ed Sullivan impression; Tyrone and Gladys; Carol and Piotr Rosmenko runner; quickies with Carol; priest quickies; Carol presents Stranger than Truth; Adam and Eve revisited; pirate runners with Arte as the ship's captain; and Joke Wall finale. Features Chet Dowling, Linda Redfern, Carl Reiner, and Jilly Rizzo.

Episode 9
Mon, Nov 9, 197052 mins
News of the past, present, and future; cocktail party; The Mod, Mod World of the news media; Dennis Allen plays a floating basketball player and a struggling house painter; quickies; Carl Reiner portrays William Shakespeare, a honeymoon suite occupant, and Marty Farkel in a Farkel family skit with brief commentary from Edith Ann; Swizzlers at Dan's tavern; Spiro Agnew update; Big Al's sports desk; underground wants; presentation of the Whoopee Award to two dozen non-violent protesters; Dick as a money-grubbing gas station attendant putting the bite on motorists; and the Joke Wall finale. Jilly Rizzo appears.
Episode 10
Mon, Nov 16, 197052 mins
Polaroid camera ad; Dennis Allen as a mail carrier with a mischievous streak; cocktail party; Ruth sings a "Swallows of Capistrano" song; Susy Sorority; Swizzlers; quickies; Johnny Brown makes vacation plans at Foonman's Budget Travel Agency; Nancy Phillips is the girl on the go at a Marine boot camp; Alan impersonates Joanne Worley to introduce news of the past, present, and future; Busybody Buzzi on Hollywood hi-jinks; Big Al's sports segment spotlights a butch bowling champion; people ask Bob about his motion pictures Catch-22 and Cold Turkey; Dick talks of his Uncle Ed (or is his name Tarzan?); Henry sings his "Sing Me No Country Airs" poem; Bob plays Adam to Ruth's Eve and tries to make a Burbank-appropriate Twelve Days of Christmas, complete with ordering props; Mod, Mod World looks at the weird world; purse snatcher; middle-age monologue; U. S. Army intelligence; Big Al Sues with football; liberal divorce law quickies; teenage dance crazes; and Newhart's presidential traveling plans. Desi Arnaz and Billy Barnes appear.
Episode 11
Mon, Nov 23, 197052 mins
Arte Johnson tries to repair a broken bathroom sink; Ann Elder and Alan Sues as Cinderella and her Fairy Godmother; Arte's Swedish storyteller; Alan as Chef Julius Child cooks up something; Edith Ann opines on germ warfare; Swizzlers in Dan Rowan's tavern; Desi dresses as a flamenco dancer and the female regulars dress like Carmen Miranda to introduce the news; Lily plays an Avon lady visiting Arte; Dennis sleeps in the gutter; cocktail party; busybody Buzzi dishes the Hollywood dirt with Desi; Mod. Mod World of brevity; Dick of Fleeger Motors Used Cars tries to buy a vehicle from Desi; Desi as a gun-toting airline passenger / skyjacker and a bum trying to beg money from Alan; Dan and Dick discuss the thrill of hunting; Desi complains about today's songs being inferior to those of yesteryear; Dennis leads a panel discussion of controversial current affairs; quickies include Alan in football; Dick's skydiving lesson; Phyllis and Dan discuss her children with Fang; Desi explains the origin and meaning of Baba Lou; Phyllis' dating tips; Jilly Rizzo's language lesson; Ruth sings opera; Dennis as Eric Clarified discusses United States troop withdrawal from Vietnam; and Joke Wall finale. Chet Dowling, David Frost, and Rod Serling appear.
Episode 12
Mon, Nov 30, 197052 mins
Sketches include Bill and Flip visit Dick, Shoe store visit, Missing person, Personality cocktails, Ernestine calls Gore Vidal, Alan Sues as the frog Prince, Mod, Mod world of education, Tribute to William Buckley and Ruth at computer school. Featuring Ricardo Montalban, Vincent Price, Peter Lawford, Gore Vidal, Bill Cosby and Flip Wilson.
Episode 13
Mon, Dec 7, 197051 mins
Sketches include Rod's Twilight Zone visits Laugh-In, Phil intros catch phrases, the Mod, Mod world of comics, Visual comedy, Salute to mothers-in-law, Eskimo weather report, Mean nurse quickies, and Tyrone F. Horneigh visits Lily's proper lady. Featuring Phil Silvers, Rod Sterling, Jilly Rizzo and Don Ho.
Episode 14
Mon, Dec 14, 197051 mins
Rich Little does impressions; mouthwash discussion; Dick plans to play golf; quickies; Johnny Brown asks about Debbie's charity work; tuxedo-clad men introduce the news of the past, present, and future; Edith Ann confesses to telling fibs; Tyrone and Gladys; Cocktail party; Debbie plays Charlie Chaplin, a circus knife thrower, a flight attendant for fifth-rate Burbank Airlines, and Fifi the prodigal, black sheep Farkel family member that father Frank shuns; cast parodies late shows and old time movie stars; Debbie and Ruth's fake commercial; automobile safety; funny nuns; Dick's obscene phone call; Arte Johnson and Ann Elder on Planned Parenthood; Ruth in carhop runners; the Joke Wall finale. Featuring Jack Cassidy, Bing Crosby, Phyllis Diller, and Jilly Rizzo.

Episode 15
Mon, Dec 28, 197051 mins
Johnny Carson opens the show; William visits Ernestine; salute to Ronald Reagan; Rich Little salutes politicians; test tube babies; Ruth sings opera; Zero Mostel plays Papa Gepetto; a year-end review of 1970; and William F. Buckley comments on both women's liberation and the population explosion. Last regular appearance of Henry Gibson. Features Carol Channing, Phyllis Diller, and Janice Pennington.
Episode 16
Mon, Jan 4, 197152 mins
Diminutive Sammy Davis Jr. squares off against towering Wilt Chamberlain in a boxing match arranged by Arte; ethnic humor with Johnny Brown and Sammy recreating Amos n' Andy; Sammy reprises Here Comes the Judge; circus monologue; cocktail party; a look at show business; Ernestine continues her attack on the establishment; the Rosmenko twins perform a duet; Edith Ann meets ten-year-old Sammy on the street; Joke Wall finale. Frank Delfino appears.
Episode 17
Mon, Jan 11, 197151 mins
Sketches include Alan gives Dinah singing lessons, News of the future predicts a stock market collapse, Surviving pollution, Gore discusses political science very carefully, Return of the Swizzlers, Cameo one-liners, Ruth presents army quickies, Quickies with Sammy and Arte, and Gladys and Tyrone F. Hornie get romantic. Featuring Johnny Carson, Dinah Shore, Gore Vidal, and Phyllis Diller.
Episode 18
Mon, Jan 18, 197151 mins
Sketches include A spotlight falls on Joey Bishop, Dick Martin as Martino the Magician, Marathon dance stars, Shirley Temple blackouts, Joey rap quickies, Ali Baba runner, knitting runner, the Mod, Mod world of prisons, Electric chair runner, Prison visit, Parole board, Playground update, and Ruth's Hollywood news. Featuring Joey Bishop, David Steinberg, Ralph Edwards, Jilly Rizzo.
Episode 19
Mon, Jan 25, 197152 mins
Johnny sings "What Kind of Fool Am I?", does chin-ups runners, and deals with noise; cowboys and Indians; clumsy Dennis Allen reports to Dan's martinet General Bull Wright; Cocktail party; Jack Cassidy brings a furry friend; Ruth's elderly movie star Harriet Blossom receives a TV commercial offer; Is Black Beautiful?; Shakesperean skit; Andy escapes from Mayberry, gets an English lesson, and helps look at the Mod, Mod World of big city life; Wilt Chamberlain hears a lot of tall jokes; cast regulars visit Father Griffith's confessional; Arte tries to climb Mount Wilt; Lily searches for an apartment in NYC; Lily and Arte show up in big business departments; Tyrone ogles Barbara Sharma and almost gets romantic with Gladys; Dan visits a peekaboo nudist weatherman; Lily's Tasteful Lady meets Andy and wants to know how to add taste to the program; unwed mothers introduce the news; writer / producer Chet Dowling hides behind a tree; quickies; Edith Ann tells about her parents' recent party; the ladies discuss adopting a bra-less look; Swizzlers have one for the road in Dan's tavern; Joke Wall. Billy Barnes is featured.
Episode 20
Mon, Feb 1, 197152 mins
Ruth Buzzi in Mother Hubbard runners; Dick discusses the book he's reading plus his Uncle Moby the whale hunter; cocktail party; Marcello meets Edith Ann and explains Richard Nixon stories to Gladys and Tyrone; supersonic situations and unusual stewardesses; Ann Elder meets artist Leonardo Da Vinci; Edith Ann discusses babies; bank teller Dan gives Arte a hard time; the Swizzlers get it on; quickies; Dennis Allen as a magician; Ruth gives Marcello an English lesson; Alan as a sword-swallow-er; after a snazzy intro from Johnny Brown and Teresa Graves, Louis Nye describes items in the news of the past, present, and future; Dan displays his new beard; the cast salutes the Mod, Mod World of Air Travel on Burbank Terminal Budget Airlines; and Joke Wall. Claudine Longet, Carol Anne Richards, and Jilly Rizzo appear.
Episode 21
Mon, Feb 8, 197151 mins
Dinah Shore opens the show, spoofs her fan dancer image, joins the regulars in dressing like Charlie Chaplin to introduce the news; and a skit is built around her smile; Alan plays Whistler's Mother; "friendly working girl" Ruth meets Dennis on a street corner and has a highway drag race with Ann Elder; Dick tries fencing and boxing; cocktail party; Lily's Tasteful Lady chats with Herschel Bernardi; Swizzlers at Dan's tavern; Dennis tries carpentry; the Mod, Mod World look at the working girl; Robinson Crusoe is welcomed home by his wife Dinah; Ernestine telephones socialite Martha Mitchell to discuss disconnecting; Tyrone and Gladys get it on at teatime; Lily's fast-talker confuses Truman; Dinah "Smile Through Everything" clown production number; Lily sex ed quickies and the Same Old Bump and Grind; Edith Ann talks of Heaven; help wanted; domestic engineer Ruth serves dinner to picky guests; nasty nurse; Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award goes to the Florida State Division of Family Welfare Service; Joke Wall finale with added silly string. Peter Lawford appears.
Episode 22
Mon, Feb 15, 197152 mins
"Always Keep 'Em Laughing" opening; Dick tries the cowboy life and a do-it-yourself project; quickies; Swizzlers; laundromat runners; The End Is Near doomsayer runners; Edith Ann reads a poem; Chaplain Budd Homily presents his Thought for the Day; firing squad runners; planned parenthood explained; Laugh-In fable; money quickie; movie cliches; baseball quickie; Alan presents classic movie scenes; Tyrone Horneigh gives the stock market report and deals with car trouble; cocktail party; and the Friendly Lady film; Ruth dresses as Mae West with Alan and Dennis as muscular hunks to introduce the news; pharmacist Ruth counsels customer Dennis; busybody Buzzi reports on a wedding between Hollywood centenarians; Big Al's sports segment spotlights the Dodgers' spring training; Susy Sorority and Freddy Fraternity have a dinner date; General Bull Wright plugs his new book; the Whoopee Award goes to the women of America for refusing to knuckle under to pressure; a visit with Clarence and Claire Voyant at home; Truman Capote is interviewed by Dan and Dick, chats with Dennis, and ridicules Jacqueline Susann. Wilt Chamberlain, Chuck Connors, Ricardo Montalban, and Los Angeles Mayor Sam Yorty appear.
Episode 23
Mon, Feb 22, 197151 mins
Sketches include George Raft threatens the cast, Lily gets breakfast in bed while cheating on Dick with Dennis, Dick runs an adult bookstore, Hippie hitchhiker quickies, Alan in Cinderella runners, the Mod, Mod world of psychiatry, George Raft meets Lily's tasteful lady and Peter holds a press conference . Featuring Peter Lawford, George Raft, Jilly Rizzo and David Steinberg.
Episode 24
Mon, Mar 1, 197152 mins
Laugh In's Mod World puts the spotlight on religion. Guest Richard Crenna portrays a clergyman, a lion, then is an agency spokesman that has been housing the poor in ritzy hotels. Richard baptizes Dennis Allen then heads to the White House with Dan and Dick.
Episode 25
Mon, Mar 8, 197152 mins
Dennis in carpenter runners; Dick discusses luck; quickies; Lily and Alan visit a wishing well; psychiatrist Dan counsels regulars as his patients; Ann Elder as an abrasive nurse; Edith Ann gets a headache; Ruth returns as aged movie star Laverne Blossom; General Bull Wright endorses educational TV programs; female regulars dress as cowgirls to introduce the latest news from beautiful downtown Burbank; busybody Buzzi dishes on the Hollywood casting couch; Big Al chats with a short basketball player during his sports segment; Dick tries painting; cocktail party; quickies center on psychiatry; Mod, Mod World takes a look at the Federal Bureau of Investigation; Swizzlers; The Ferkel's reunite with long lost family member French Fry; Jack Benny plugs his upcoming TV special; Ruth sings like a chipmunk; Ernestine places a phone call to author David Reuben; Gladys tries to clean Tyrone's apartment; Joke Wall; and Johnny Carson takes one last bow. Features Sammy Davis Jr., Rich Little, Roger Miller, Claudine Longet, Rod Serling, and Gore Vidal.
Episode 26
Mon, Mar 15, 197152 mins
Stain remover ad; Dick turns up in fisherman garb; cocktail party; Frankenstein's monster invades a game of charades; Mod, Mod World of people who populate this cuckoo world; Swizzlers; electric chair skit with Dennis ready to be fried; Cupid greeting; cocktail party salutes beautiful downtown Burbank; Alan on a window ledge; wedding runners; Joke Wall; Lily shows off Edith Ann's cootie catcher, returns as Suzy Sorority; and joins Jimmy Durante clones introducing the news; Arte as Alexander Graham Bell being nagged, looks forward to his own upcoming TV special, and plays an NBC censor trying to hire a moral watchdog; quickies; Ruth as Amy Vanderbilt giving an etiquette lesson on the proper way to eat pizza; celebrity guests describe celebrity cocktails; the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate award goes to the Pentagon; Dick visits a Chinese laundry; Joke Wall; and the final appearance of Arte Johnson as a series regular. Herschel Bernardi, Tim Conway, Phyllis Diller, and George Raft all appear.