Father Ted
Have mercy on poor Father Ted Crilly. He has so much to contend with when it comes to dealing with the folks of Craggy Island, Ireland. There's Father Dougal McGuire, who is as dimwitted as they come; and then there is Father Jack Hackett who lives for the simple pleasures of life (sleeping, drinking, and swearing). Ted tries to bring stability to his congregation as well as the surreal townspeople of Craggy Island.
- 1995-1998
- 3 seasons
- BBC Video
- Comedy
- TV-14
Have mercy on poor Father Ted Crilly. He has so much to contend with when it comes to dealing with the folks of Craggy Island, Ireland. There's Father Dougal McGuire, who is as dimwitted as they come; and then there is Father Jack Hackett who lives for the simple pleasures of life (sleeping, drinking, and swearing). Ted tries to bring stability to his congregation as well as the surreal townspeople of Craggy Island.
Season 3 Episode Guide
8 Episodes 1998
Episode 1
Are You Right There Father Ted?
24 mins
When Mrs Doyle injures herself, Ted and Dougal do the housework and a bored Ted puts a lampshade on his head--an act misinterpreted as racism by a passing Chinese family. Ted gets them on side by buying them alcohol, but another mishap leads to the islanders believing him to be a Nazi. To dispel this notion, he holds a festival to celebrate all cultures. This is successful; unfortunately, a friend of his has recently died and bequeathed all his Nazi memorabilia to him, and Mrs Doyle has proudly put it on show.
Episode 2
Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep
24 mins
With the island's annual King of the Sheep contest imminent, Ted puts the house's entire winter heating allowance on a sheep called Chris to win. Chris's owner, Fargo Boyle, tells Ted that Chris has heard about the notorious Beast of Craggy island and is nervous, so Ted helps Fargo get Chris into winning condition. Then Ted works out that there is no Beast--it was a ploy by Fargo to increase the odds on Chris. Unfortunately, in exposing the plot, Ted gets Chris disqualified and loses his money.
Episode 3
Speed 3
24 mins
Ted is shocked to find that Pat Mustard, the island milkman, has been having sex with his female customers--possibly including Mrs. Doyle--and reports him to the dairy manager. As a result Pat gets sacked and Dougal takes on the delivery route, as the manager trusts a man of God. Vengeful Mustard has attached a bomb to the milk float which will activate at four miles an hour and detonate if the speed then falls below four. Ted manages to save Dougal thanks to a decorative brick that Mrs Doyle has brought into the house, and Pat Mustard ends up literally--and fatally--hoisted by his own petard.
Episode 4
The Mainland
24 mins
On a trip to the mainland to collect £200 winnings, Ted gets punched by actor Richard Wilson and visits local caves with Dougal, where they encounter Father Noel Furlong, whose screeching contest causes a rockfall from which Dougal and Ted manage to escape. Meanwhile, Jack, minus his new glasses, causes trouble at an AA meeting, and Mrs Doyle gets into a fight with her friend Mrs Dineen over who should pay for their tea. With all three arrested, Ted must part with his £200 to set them free--but worse is to come for Richard Wilson when he finds himself outside Ted's house on Craggy Island.
Episode 5
Escape from Victory
24 mins
The time has come for the Craggy Island priests to take on their Rugged Island counterparts at the annual Five-a-Side Football Match, but with Dougal fit for nothing beyond guarding the line flags, all of the players are extremely old--and one actually dies before he can make the game. Rugged Island have a secret weapon: the fitter Italian Father Romeo Sensini, who puts them in the lead. Craggy Island do eventually win but are exposed as cheats and disqualified. Ted must also pay a forfeit: he must kick Bishop Len Brennan up the arse.
Episode 6
Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse
24 mins
Ted worries about the upcoming forfeit and there is no way out as Dougal must photograph it as proof. Eventually Ted gets Brennan to visit by telling him that his likeness has miraculously appeared in the skirting board and the bishop arrives, accompanied by sarcastic Father Jessup, whom Jack locks in his underpants hamper. Ted goes through with the forfeit, which puts Brennan in a catatonic state, from which he only recovers while visiting the Pope. He returns to Craggy Island and Ted almost convinces him that it did not happen--until the bishop sees the photograph and takes his revenge.
Episode 7
Night of the Nearly Dead
24 mins
Mrs Doyle wins the first prize in a poetry contest: a visit from the housewives' favourite matinee idol, crooner and presenter Eoin McLove, who comes to serenade her. Unfortunately, she has told one of her friends and Eoin and his assistant Patsy are besieged overnight in the Parochial House with the priests as scores of middle-aged women congregate to see their idol, eventually breaking in and pursuing them upstairs. They are only dispersed when Mrs Doyle reminds them that they must return home to get their husbands' breakfasts. As a result of the visit, Ted gets to appear on Eoin's quiz show--but fails to win the main prize by not knowing the Pope's real name.
Episode 8
Going to America
25 mins
After Father Ted saves the life of a suicidal fellow priest, he gets a call from Father Buzz Cagney in Los Angeles, inviting him to work with him. Ted is excited but lacks the heart to tell Dougal, Jack, and Mrs Doyle that they cannot go with him. However, when Ted learns that his prospective parish is run-down and violent, he decides against going--much to the others' relief--and resigns himself to the fact that he will probably never leave Craggy Island.
