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Hugh sings a song about sophistication and Stephen delivers a monologue at extremely high speed. A school truant reveals he hasn't been to school in four years because he's been playing a computer game, he's on level nine though.
The Young Tory of the Year National finals are taking place with contestants including Mr. Treadgold, who is reading Bigotry and Libertarian Nonsense. Hugh receives a death threat and Stephen warns him that it might not be safe for him to do his song.
In a parody of the Oprah Winfrey show a woman confesses her problems with low self-esteem and receives a pointless round of applause. Guests Stephen Moore and Phyllida Law join in some of the sketches including a dilemma with a wasps nest.
Hugh performs a song about being nice to an old lady and Stephen puts forward his idea for growing a town in garden in his hair. The show closes with Hugh playing the piano as Stephen mixes his latest cocktail creation 'A Quick One for you Stephen'.