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Joe wouldn't do any of the idiotic stuff these other guys keep doing
Joe, the grocery store owner from Chicago, got eliminated on The Bachelorette's first night, but he has remained in the hearts of fans ever since because he seems like a nice, normal, attainably handsome guy. Becca really should have kept him around, if only to balance out the Jordans and Lincolns and Coltons and Jean Blancs. Every guy except Wills had a terrible showing in Monday's episode.
You know who would have been great though? Joe. So much so that Bachelorette fans on Twitter have created a funny meme around the idea that Joe would't do anything bad. It's sort of like a less ambitious Chuck Norris joke. Here are some of the best examples.
You know who could have won the lumberjack course all by himself? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/Gi1qFhgPjO
— Emily Alchin (@EmilyAlchin) June 19, 2018
(I don't remember who won the lumberjack course because it wasn't Joe.)
You know who doesn't think the Earth is flat? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/TTA0owPsgS
— Bob (@Bachelor__Bob) June 19, 2018
(Lincoln thinks the Earth is flat.)
you know who would never lie to becca about falling in love with her and ask for a perfume bottle back? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/D1e8Pc6aam
— kathleen (@kathleen_hanley) June 19, 2018
Guys who wouldn't say "I love you" after a few group dates and then take it back: #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/Y4YQVhynvv
— Kylie (@kyzmarie_) June 19, 2018
You know who would have said "I love you" and meant it? #TheBachelorette #GroceryStoreJoe pic.twitter.com/CE7ymB5xsF
— Erica Lenart (@EricaLenart) June 19, 2018
(Jean Blanc gave Becca perfume and then asked for it back when she broke up with him and then told her he said "I love you" because he thought that's what she wanted to hear.) (Peter's alright, but he's no Grocery Joe.)
Know who doesn't believe in "Hall Passes"? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/7Rua0brt0x
— jupesjr (@jupesjr) June 19, 2018
(Wills' ex-girlfriend wanted a "hall pass" to sleep with someone else. When he didn't grant it, she cheated on him.)
You know who would only wear his gold undies in private, just for you? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/zNStQEuBw6
— Grocery Joe (@JRodgersHair) June 19, 2018
(Jordan took his pants off and danced around in tiny gold shorts. It was traumatic.)
Just a PSA: this man doesn't think Parkland kids are actors. He's also not been convicted of a violent crime. He also doesn't roll out of bed onto his own face.
— Justin Kirkland (@justinkirkland4) June 19, 2018
The only thing he's guilty of is bringing home perfectly ripe avocados because he RUNS THE STORE. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/GZcsAw6XV7
(Garrett liked an Instagram post promoting a pro-gun right wing conspiracy theory. Lincoln has been convicted of assaulting a woman. David fell out of bed onto his own face.)
I will leave you with a Joe-centric variant on what is perhaps the greatest meme of 2018 so far:
Bachelor Nation every Monday:#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/aSDrhUAUDW
— Davelyn (@davcouch) June 19, 2018
I hope we don't find out Joe is hosting dogfights in the stockroom of his grocery store or something, but nothing is surprising anymore.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.