The Bachelor kicked off the first night of its two-night finale with the hunt for Colton Underwood after the fence jump heard 'round the world, but not before Chris Harrison kicked things off in the studio with a time-killing recap of the season to this point. We haven't seen much of Chris this season, but now we're getting a huge dose of him, what with Women Tell All last week and four hours of finale this week. This is the night that earns him his salary. He really has the best job in the world.
Then it was back to Portugal, where Chris and the crew went searching for the missing boy. Pretty amazing how he just disappeared. They had to get in the vans to look for him. We heard more producer chatter than ever as they looked for him. The footage was pretty raw, like Arie and Becca's breakup. No music, shaky cam, no slick edits. And then they found him, walking down a street. A producer tried to pull him out of the path of on an oncoming car and he batted her away.
"Don't touch me," he said. He was done. He said it over and over again. He was trying to leave the show. "You wanna be done with the whole thing?" Chris asked him. They finally got him into a van, and he cried and said he didn't feel like enough. Poor heartbroken boy. Understandable reaction to want to bail when someone is sticking a camera in your face for the most vulnerable moment of your life. Even if you want your personal life to be on camera, that's a lot.
Back at the hotel the next morning, Chris went to talk to Colton about what happened. Colton didn't really want to talk, though. He just wanted to be alone. "I've been through a lot in this past year, and every time something good happens to me or for me, something bad happens after," he said. That just straight-up sucks, dude. "What if the bottom line is she's just not that into you?" Chris asked. Colton answered that he has really good gut instinct, and he feels like Cassie is in love with him but she's afraid to admit it. I don't know, man. I wouldn't count on that.
Colton said he was still in love with Cassie, and he knew what he needed to do. He went to Tayshia's hotel room. When Tayshia gave him a hug to help him calm down, the mic picked up his heart beating out of his chest. "My heart's with somebody else," he told her. "I love Cassie." She asked if they could talk without all these cameras. They went inside and shut the door, but their mics were still on. They were both crying. Tayshia said she didn't want to go through all this — I guess getting broken up with? "So this is, like, it?" she asked. "Yeah," he said. They opened the door a crack and hugged two final times, and their hearts were pounding. Tayshia didn't want the cameras to see her crying, so she kinda hid behind the door. This was the only time we've seen her cry all season, I think. But she had a real good reason to cry. Everyone in the studio was crying, too.
Chris brought Tayshia out for the live reunion. She said she knew something was wrong as soon as she opened the door and saw Colton. She said she had a lot of firsts and grew tremendously because of Colton. She was dressed all in silver. Chris pointed out that during the breakup she was taking care of Colton emotionally. Tayshia is kind. She said she knows she deserves a lot. Then Colton came out.
They kinda made small talk, and then Tayshia said she was nervous. Colton's hair was very choppy and weird and sticking up all over the place. He looked like Mark Hoppus from blink-182. Then she finally got around to asking him what was missing. He said it wasn't anything in their relationship, it was just that his heart belonged to Cassie. Tayshia's final word was that she cherished the memories they made and she's proud of the woman she's become as a result of meeting him through this process. Tayshia's a classy lady. I hope she doesn't go to Paradise and sully herself.
Remember Hannah G.? We haven't seen her in a while! Colton finally remembered her, too, and he went to break up with her. She was all set to tell Colton she loved him. She was so shocked when he knocked on her door. "You have been my rock through all of this," he said. But he said he realized he couldn't be in love with two people, and his feelings in his relationship with Cassie were a lot stronger. Hannah was angry and hurt and shocked all at once. "I thought it was going to be you," he said. "You still remind me of home." She asked him what didn't work with her. He didn't have an answer. "I don't feel like this is happening at all," she said. It felt surreal, you know? She was embarrassed and hurt about how she helps people and then they don't want to stick around. "I don't want you to feel like that," he said. "Well, I do," she said. This is the most we've seen of Hannah's personality all season. She started really breaking down and crying and letting words spill out of her. Colton was really having a hard time during this, too. He thought he was maybe making the wrong choice in breaking up with someone who loved him.
"You don't deserve to be second," he told her. True. "Nothing I can say can make this better or easier," he said. Also true. Then he put on his jacket and left. "Good luck," Hannah told him. True! He's gonna need it! As soon as he got out of the room he started sobbing. He had to sit down on a wall and cry. A producer asked if he was OK. He said "No, I'm scared." She hugged him and said, "I know." Aw. "That's how much I love Cassie," he said. "That I'm willing to walk away from somebody that great." And in the van, Hannah didn't want to talk.
Back in the present, Hannah was still struggling. She said watching it back, she saw how much Colton was struggling, but it's still not like flipping a page. She hated watching it. She said during the breakup, when Colton invoked "home" — what he said she reminded him of over and over again throughout the season — it immediately became meaningless. She said it was hard when people would come up to her and say "show us your engagement ring!" Watching it back made her more confused about what happened, not less. Hannah was clearly still going through it.
I wish they would have showed more of her emotions/personality before the finale. #thebachelor— Miss E (@melis_blue) March 12, 2019
Chris reminded everyone at home that this is Hannah's real life. She's really sitting there reliving one of the worst days of her life. She said she's not in love with him anymore, because she deserves someone who loves her back. Colton came back out, and he'd smoothed his hair down a little bit. She asked him why he didn't give her more of a chance. He said that with her, it was the realization that he was so completely in love with Cassie that he couldn't go on without her. She asked that if they'd had more time, would things be different? He said he got caught up in the unwritten rules of The Bachelor, which I guess meant that he had to go through the motions with other women when all he really wanted was to be with Cassie. "What Cassie did to you is exactly what you did to me," she said. She thought he was going to come back for her, like Arie coming back for Lauren (that's my take, she didn't say that). She said it felt like a slap in the face hearing him tell Cassie he thought about her when he was with other women. It turns out Hannah can be very direct and honest about her feelings. Where was this Hannah all season? She said she wanted someone to jump a fence for her. Aw, I hope you find your fence-jumper, Hannah.
With 15 minutes left, Chris was joined by Garrett Yrigoyen, Ben Higgins, Blake Horstmann, and Jason Tartick. Ben was the only one who really needed to be there, because Ben was the only one who'd been the Bachelor. Jason said he'd been in the dumped girls' position, but he can say with confidence that good things are around the corner (he's dating former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe). Jason did a lot of talking and hit his points cleanly. Jason wants to host something.
This political cable news-style panel of ex-Bachelors is...odd. Like who asked for this? #thebachelor— Ali Vitali (@alivitali) March 12, 2019
(They need to fill time, ABC News political reporter Ali Vitali!)
Cut back to Portugal. Colton was like, "It's over." Everyone was gone. But he still can't move on without Cassie. And apparently Cassie didn't go straight to the airport after she dumped Colton, because we saw her packing in the daylight and talking about how she wants to move on with her life. But nope, not allowed! "I want Cassie," Colton growled. He knew what he had to do. He had to fight for love. He knocked on her hotel room door. And the episode ended as she opened it.
We'll be back tomorrow for Part 2 of the season finale. I hope Colton and Cassie don't get back together.
What if after ALL THIS, they Cassie and Colton end up together, he loses his virginity and they realize they have zero sexual chemistry? Ha! #TheBachelor— Eloisa Ferrer (@eloisa0517) March 12, 2019
The Bachelor Season 23 concludes Tuesday, March 12 at 8/7c on ABC. Previous episodes are available to stream on Hulu.