Guy Fieri Guy Fieri

This is so not money.

The New York Times does not like Guy Fieri's new restaurant in Times Square.

In a painfully descriptive negative review of Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, food critic Pete Wells slams him for his voluminous menu, bad food and lack of service

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The review is mainly composed of a string of rhetorical questions Wells asks Fieri. "Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex?" he asks. "When you saw the burger described as Guy's Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche, did your mind touch the void for a minute?"

"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

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Wells, not surprisingly, gives the restaurant a "poor" rating. Read the full review here.

Fieri, who hosts Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, also owns the restaurants Johnny Garlic's and Tex Wasabi.