In fact, he returned to King's Landing just in time to hear Cersei's (Lena Headey) big news. She's pregnant with another incest baby! Now, it's hard to tell whether this a real pregnancy, or if Cersei was just starting to sense that Jaime was pulling away from her and knew that a baby would tie him surely to her side again. It's not impossible that it's all real and she had a change of heart regarding her war with Daenerys (Emilia Clarke), it's just not very likely.
Meanwhile, more big news came in the form of Gendry's (Joe Dempsie) return.
And where has he been all this time you ask? Certainly not rowing for four years like we thought. He actually decided to hide right under Cersei's nose in King's Landing as a blacksmith. Sure, it's not the most believable turn of events, but we're mostly just glad to have him back!
Now it's time to talk about good old Sam (John Bradley).
Honestly, it's been pretty boring keeping up with the adventures of maester-in-training Samwell Tarly, but it may have all been worth it given what he just found out. We all know that Rhaegar Targaryen was married to Elia Martell of Dorne back before his father, the Mad King, was killed. What we didn't know — unless you've been trolling the R+L=J fanfiction boards — is that Rhaegar apparently had that marriage annulled in order for him to marry another woman.
We'd bet all the dragonglass in Westeros that other woman was Lyanna Stark. Ipso facto, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) is not a bastard but the secret Targaryen heir.
Jon gave us more ammunition in this argument by reaching up and petting Drogon when he and Dany returned from battle. He pet a dragon. Like it was a freaking dog.
Not even people who have spent years around these dragons would risk that kind of move, which is probably why Daenerys looked so freaked out by it. Here's hoping she realizes just why Jon has developed such an easy relationship with her dragons before she does something gross like sleep with him. Jorah's (Iain Glenn) return should hopefully help with that.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.