In case anyone's still harboring hope for a revival, despite the gajillion times she and others have shot it down, Kauffman again nipped the issue in the bud this week. She told Rolling Stone that there are multiple reasons why a Friends reunion won't happen, not the least of which is the fact that it probably wouldn't live up to expectations. (She even titled it "The One Where Everyone's Disappointed.")
"All we'd be doing is putting those six actors back together, but the heart of the show would be gone," Kauffman explained.
Kauffman has long maintained that the hit show worked because it focused on a specific era in the lives of our Central Perk pals — the halcyon days when their friendships were the defining relationships in their lives. So, basically, once they began marrying off, moving away from the city, and having kids, their priorities would change quite a bit, and it'd make little to no sense for them to sit around trading apartments and comparing Thanksgiving horror stories and such.
To that I say, fair enough... but what about a Friends spin-off?
Sure, there may be no reason to bring back the original cast to reprise their roles and bum everyone out with the malaise of middle age, but there are still tons of ways to revive the spirit of the show by tugging on any number of threads in the story. Friends' creatives might be beyond ready to stop talking about a reunion, but what if we started talking about a prequel or sequel series — one that actually works? (Sorry, Joey).
Here are just a few ideas about what a new Friends spin-off could look like.
The One With All the Kids. The obvious first option for a Friends spin-off would be to pick up with their kids in real time. It's been almost 15 years since the series finale aired, so the triplets and Ben would be well into their 20s, while Emma, Jack, Erica, and the hypothetical "lots of babies" belonging to Phoebe and Mike would be in their teens. The children may not have been a focal point of the original series, but there were still some hints that their futures would be interesting. Has Emma been forever scarred by that penis cake and/or being put into a baby beauty pageant? Does Ben still play cruel pranks on people and carry on his long-standing feud with Sting's son? Will he tell his own kids the tale of the Holiday Armadillo? Did the twins find out they're adopted thanks to another episode of Chandler's foot-in-mouth disease? These are the need-to-knows, honestly.
The One With the Gang at Java Joe. Another possibility could be a period prequel about Monica's paternal grandma. Even though she was so lovingly referred to as "that old crow" by Judy, the remnants of her story that came up over the years painted an interesting picture of a life well lived. She, too, had a group of pals who liked to hang out at a coffee house once upon a time, and the purple apartment was hers long before Monica stole her identity to keep that rent control in place. And let's not forget how she kept a pair of handcuffs in the guest room closet. There are some stories to tell here, that's for sure.
The One With Phoebe's Backstory. During Friends' run we got a lot of fun flashbacks to when Monica and Rachel were awkward high school buddies and Chandler and Ross were having a terrible hair-off in college during the Way, No Way days. But we only got to hear about Phoebe's fascinating history in snippets. From her childhood living on a barge with a toy barrel to the moment she mugged Ross to her decision to marry a Canadian ice dancer, there are so many mysteries in her past that could easily fill out an entire series of scripts. Granted, it might be a bit bleak at times, but Phoebe's resilience and self-confidence would come through, too. Plus, we might finally get to meet the pimp who spit in her mouth and her cowboy friend "Albino Bob"!
The One With Gunther's Next Move. It took Gunther a long, long time to finally confess his feelings for Rachel, but you have to wonder if he ever moved on. In the end, Rachel and Ross decided to get back together and live out their days as lobsters — with no more "on a break" business. Presumably, that means they continued to live in Ross' apartment right by Central Perk. If Gunther kept right on sunning his hair and slinging coffee per usual, that might make for some pretty awkward encounters for all of them, so perhaps he instead chose to get back into the soap opera game (remember, he was Bryce on All My Children once upon a time, and, as Joey proved, it's never too late for a comeback). Whatever happened, it'd be fun to find out what Gunther's been up to all these years later, even if it has nothing to do with the orange couch crowd.
The One With All the Missing Janice Content. Gunther may have been the closest thing to an official seventh friend on the show, but there's no doubt that Janice was the best of the Friends community of significant others (sorry Mike!). Before you start saying "Oh my God," think about it. Janice was annoying sometimes, yes, but she was also a total sweetheart and had her own unique style and a mostly mature point of view about life. Over the years, we only got bits and pieces of her non-Chandler-related character development. It's still unclear how she ended up married to the Mattress King, whether she ever patched things up with "Little Miss New Boobs," and whether she and Sid ever actually bought that house in Brooklyn. Why not give the low-key MVP of the show some long-overdue attention?
The One With Roger's Therapy Sessions. The friends may have hated the guy, but he was pretty dead on with his assessment of all of them, no matter how colorful his descriptions of their boob-like coffee mugs may have been. How fun would it be to witness his dissection of other unsuspecting groups of his girlfriends' pals with "textbook" emotional hang-ups? Could he ever find someone to put up with him long term, or does HE need to spend some time on the couch?
The One With Steve's Spectacular Fall From Grace. When we first met Steve, he wasn't doing so badly. He ran a restaurant, and although he got distracted by all the doobies, he obviously earned enough cheddar to afford regular massages from Phoebe. But then, years later, when he was set up on a blind date with Rachel, his life was in absolute shambles. No amount of Sugar Oh's or tartlets could possibly bring him out of that funk. How did it get so bad for Steve? Was it the drugs? And did he and his T-shirt business ever rebound?
The One With the Adventures of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. The first Friends spin-off, Joey, might have been a wash, but the show did at least reveal that Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. never made it to California with him. What happened to our tiny new fowl friends? Did they get sent off to a "farm" like their namesakes, or did they land a sweet space near Marcel at the zoo? We SO won't rest 'til all the Friends pets are completely accounted for.
The One with Bamboozled. C'mon. That game show sounded fun, and you KNOW you'd watch it.
Friends is currently available for streaming on Netflix.