James Franco to Appear on General Hospital

When Hollywood says zig, James Franco says: No, man, zag! The mercurial actor is joining the cast of General Hospital, TVGuide.com has confirmed.

Yes, you read that right. The star of Spider-Man, Pineapple Express, and Milk (See a theme? No, because there isn't one) will join the long-running soap on Nov. 20, and will recur over the next two months. The Golden Globe winner (James Dean) will play a mysterious man who comes to Port Charles with some unfinished business with mob thug Jason Morgan (Steve Burton). Significantly or not, Franco and Burton share a manager.

After his daytime debut, Franco will star as the poet Allen Ginsburg in the feature film Howl, which hits theaters next year.

After that, he'll shoot several commercials for Glad trash bags before headlining Lincoln Center's 2010 Kabuki festival and then taking the leading role in a new biopic about Harriet Tubman. Oh, he's also doing porn. [Editor's note: This entire paragraph is false. We think.]