The Patient from Punkville

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As he sits in his office one morning. Dr. Lank receives a telegram from one of his colleagues asking him to come to Chester at once, as he wishes to consult with him. After reading the message, the doctor snatches up his hat and coat, and with his satchel in his hand, hurries to catch the train for his friend's home. As soon as the doctor leaves, the servants, thinking that he will be gone for the day, decide to take a few hours off, so, locking up the house, start off for a good time. Two burglars, who have been hanging around the premises for some time, on seeing everybody leave, cross the street and are soon able to force an entrance into the house. They lose no time in gathering the valuables together: before they have finished collecting their spoil, however, the doorbell rings, and before opening it they quickly decide that one is to impersonate the doctor and the other the servant. As the latter opens the door he sees a countrified looking fellow, who asks to see Dr. Lank. He is ushered into the waiting room, and soon the doctor makes his appearance, but refuses to examine the patient before he receives his fee. The patient from Punkville, therefore, dives down into his pocket and gladdens the make-believe physician by handing over the amount demanded. The doctor then proceeds to examine the patient's lungs, at the same time removing his watch and wallet, which he hands to his servant. He then writes out a prescription, the purport of which is (the patient having complained of pains in his foot) to give that member a strenuous rubbing for one hour every day. In the meantime, Dr. Lank, while waiting on the station platform for his train, receives another wire from his friend in Chester, telling him that he need not bother to come, as "all is well; patient dead." The doctor therefore returns home, and when the burglars hear him coming they think the best way out of the predicament is to pretend that they are patients. When Dr. Lank enters, the biggest of the burglars wears a most mournful expression and begs the doctor to give him his attention at once. As the physician leans over to examine his heart, the burglar removes his watch with the same ease as he did that of the poor patient from Punkville. He also manages to get the doctor's money, and after the latter has written out a prescription, the second-story men bid the physician good-day. Hardly have they gone, however before Dr. Lank realizes that he has been robbed, and goes after the two fellows with a will. On his way he comes upon the poor patient from Punkville, who is conscientiously rubbing his afflicted member up and down on the carpet, in an adjoining room, and the doctor, thinking he is the burglar, hands him over to the police. In the end, however, the real culprits are apprehended and taken into custody.