The Ringtailed Rhinoceros

• 1915
• Comedy

John Carter is a good fellow. In fact, his good fellowship is Carter's one great fault, for the highballs and cocktails which go with it too frequently make him forget his more serious obligations and are cause for anxiety on the part of his charming fiancée Marybelle. Marybelle's little brother, Billie asks Carter what is making Marybelle so sad. Carter replies evasively, "It's a Ringtailed Rhinoceros." Billie vows to kill the rhino. When Carter fails to appear on time at a dinner which was planned to announce his engagement to Marybelle, and finally arrives intoxicated, her parents in anger force her to break the engagement and forbid Carter the house. Marybelle's rejection of Carter hits him hard. When he returns to his rooms, he finds little Billie, who has come to seek his assistance in his hunt for the rhino. Taking Billie on his knee, Carter tells him they will kill the rhino, and they begin to plan how to do it. Billie falls asleep. So does Carter. And Carter dreams. In his dream Carter has become what a harsh creditor predicted, a bum. Then he is shanghaied by pirates and made to scrub decks. Then the ringtailed rhinoceros appears to him and leads him to the captain's rum. The pirates chase him around the ship and finally make him walk the plank. Carter floats and floats and finally crawls out on an island. A guard appears and chases him. Dozens of soldiers appear by magic and all chase him until he falls at the feet of a little prince and begs to be saved. The prince saves him from the soldiers and takes him to see his sister, "The Weeping Princess." She must always weep until the ringtailed rhinoceros has been slain. Carter promises to kill the rhino, so, although the frowning king and queen trust him not, the prince gives him an eight-legged horse, "Resolution," and Carter starts on his hunt. He meets the rhino, but, instead of a killing, they have quite a party together in the king's wine cellar. This continues night after night for some time, Carter deceiving the royal family into believing he is after the rhino, until the Counsellor Bird, failing to make Carter ashamed of himself, "squeals" to the prince about it. They want to cut Carter's head off, but the little prince once more intercedes for him and at Carter's pleading, sets out with him to kill the rhino. The rhino and his "cronies" plead, threaten and cajole with Carter, but the prince's influence is stronger. Through the rhino's domain they plunge, firing at their tempters and not even stopping to "wet up" at the "River of Drinks," which is so inviting to Carter. Seeing that Carter is at last in earnest, the rhino calls his crowd together and they attack the castle. Carter and the prince hasten back to the rescue. On the way Carter finds a bottle of wine. Just as he is about to put it to his lips, the prince commands: "The rhino is here. Kill him!" and as the dreaded beast plunges into the throne room, Carter sends the bottle hurtling at its head. The Rhino falls dead. The princess stops crying, and throws herself gladly upon Carter's manly bosom. The king, queen and all the court hail Carter as a hero. And although this prophecy is made in a dream, it is fulfilled in real life, for Carter comes out of his dream a saner and sober man and tells Billie and Marybelle that he has killed the ringtailed rhinoceros.