Tue, 4:00 pm
Stan turns entrepreneur and opens a teddy-bear factory (read: sweatshop) staffed by illegal aliens. Of course, Hayley is appalled and takes action. Guest voices include Iggy Pop (Jerry); Miguel Ferrer (Agent Hopkins); Elizabeth Peña (Store Owner); and Nie (more…)
Wed, 4:30 pm
Stan gets caught sending contaminated cattle to the slaughterhouse. The reason he did it, he says, was to make Steve “a man.” Meanwhile, Roger's favoritism leads to a fight between Francine and Hayley. Carnie Wilson has a voice cameo as a cashier.
Wed, 5:30 pm
In the third-season opener, Francine demands that Stan take the family on a vacation after she learns all of their previous vacations never actually happened: The CIA had planted artificial memories of the "vacations" in their brains so Stan could ditch th (more…)
Wed, 10:30 pm
Stan is so upset that his son Steve is a geek that he gets an athletic kid to pose as his boy in a father-son softball game; the CIA can't seem to catch a cyber-terrorist; Roger's depressed because he can't connect with anyone outside the family. Patrick S (more…)
Thu, 5:00 pm
Stan seeks out Francine's birth parents because her visiting adoptive parents annoy him so much. But they don't annoy Steve, especially after they give him fireworks. Holland Taylor and Jeff Perry provide the voices of Francine's birth parents.
Fri, 11:03 pm
Sat, 12:24 pm
Sat, 9:30 pm
Steve gains fame as a children's author after his English paper, a story about Roger, is published. Of course, the notoriety goes to Steve's head, and he goes to Hollywood, where the story plays out as an homage to 1950's “Sunset Boulevard.” Bryan Cran (more…)
Sun, 3:00 am
Sun, 8:00 am
Team Scorpion try to jog the memory of an injured former Secret Service agent who is their only hope of preventing weapons of mass destruction from being launched at a secret U.S. nuclear silo. Meanwhile, Paige is torn when Drew suggests that moving to Mai (more…)
Sun, 12:00 pm
Sun, 10:00 pm
Team Scorpion heads to the bayou to track down a cagey alligator in order to stop a deadly mosquito-borne virus, and Paige teaches Walter the concept of the "white lie." Also, Walter hits Cabe with a tranquilizer gun and Toby must save his life, and Sylves (more…)
Sun, 11:00 pm
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