Question: O.C. scoop? — Charlotte Ausiello: Remember how I said someone was gonna die in the season finale? Well, the Grim Reaper actually arrives at the end of this week's episode. (And for the record, I correctly ID'd the corpse in my April 20 column).
Question: I heard the Gilmore Girls finale features two bombshells. Can you give me a hint as to what they are? I can't wait until next week — I'm going crazy! — Megan Ausiello: One involves Rory and the other Lorelai-Luke. And they're both doozies. One of them comes in the final five seconds and is spit-Snapple-out-of-your-mouth big.
Question: I think someone is impersonating me in your column. Can I sue? — Jaime Ausiello: Nope. As it stands now, AA is a sovereign entity and, therefore, lawless. I like to think of it as Deadwood without the f---ing.
Question: Where are youuuuuuu? — Jennifer Ausiello: I'm at my desk writing AA and laughing at all my jokes! Where are youuuuuuu?
Question: OK, I realize I'm probably in the minority being an NCIS fan, but don't leave me hanging with your "someone from the team will die" line. Give us a hint!! Please!! — Tank Ausiello: OK, here's your hint: One of the two Special Agents quarantined in last night's episode may have been infected.
Question: What's the latest on Arrested Development? Will we get a third season? — Jen Ausiello: I don't want to jinx things, but I'm hearing that we will.
Question: Happy seven-month anniversary to AA! — John H. Ausiello: I'm glad someone remembered. Thanks, John.
Question: How much did we miss you? Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!!! — Judith Ausiello: Only 36 i's? Last time I entered rehab, er, took a vacation I got 62 i's. You guys are falling out of love with me.
Question: You were right — Elliott bolted Sacred Heart on Scrubs' season finale last night (Ask Ausiello 4/27). Does this mean Sarah Chalke isn't returning next fall? — Matt Roush Ausiello: Thanks for the question, Matt. But you could have just walked over from your huge office to my tiny, cramped cubicle and asked the question to my face. But if you wanna be like that, fine. Nope, Sarah's coming back. In fact, I hear the new hospital Elliott goes to work for will be featured quite regularly in next season's stories. Producers are even constructing a new set!
Question: What does Jessica Biel's character do in the finale of 7th Heaven that's so awful (Ask Ausiello 4/27)? — Kaitland Ausiello: She does exactly what Madchen Amick's character did on Gilmore Girls.
Question: Please tell me Lois Lane isn't returning to Smallville. She's boring. — Lewis Ausiello: I think you're in the minority on that one, Lewie. In fact, producers are already talking to Erica Durance about doing 13 episodes next season.
Question: I thought that David Sutcliffe was scheduled to come back to Gilmore Girls before the end of the season. Is that still happening? — Katel Ausiello: Nope. According to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Christopher simply didn't fit into the story. But he'll be back next season.
Question: I'm sure a billion people have written in to tell you that a number of unimpeachable sources are reporting that HBO has axed Carniv&#224le. I'm blaming this on you — you went on vacation and look what happened!!! — Suey Ausiello: I assume you're gonna blame me for American Dreams' cancellation, too. In any event, yes, it's true: Carnivale is dead. An HBO rep left a voicemail for me last night confirming the horrible news. No one should have to find out like that. No one. Were it not for the season finale of Veronica Mars I would have walked outside and thrown myself in front of a cab. I guess you could say Veronica Mars saved my life. (More on Ms. Mars later.)
Question: Any news on whether or not Judging Amy is returning for another season? — Andee Ausiello: If it does, it won't be on Tuesdays at 10 pm. Mark my words.
Question: Any scoop to offer on Listen Up? I hope it comes back for another season. — John Ausiello: That's a good one, John. Seriously, you have a gift.
Question: I was so excited to find out that Gilmore Girls would be on the cover of TV Guide magazine that I rushed out to buy it... but Star Trek was on the cover instead. What went wrong? — Sophia Ausiello: Well, for starters you left the house without taking your meds. Secondly, you showed up at the supermarket four weeks late and wearing nothing but slippers and a bathrobe. It's actually a really sad story.
Question: What is the latest news on the Knots Landing reunion on CBS? — Julius Ausiello: I think it's safe to say it's not going to happen — at least not this season.
Question: Welcome back! Needless to say — but I'll say it anyway — you were missed! I know the network "upfronts" are next week, but can you identify which networks announce their fall schedules on which days? — Gord McDougall Ausiello: NBC is on Monday, ABC and WB are on Tuesday, CBS is on Wednesday and Fox and UPN are on Thursday. And on Friday I begin Red Bull/NoDoz detox. BTW, if you have any questions for the BNH's (Big Network Honchos), send 'em my way and I'll try and get them answered for ya next week.
Question: Mike, please put more space between the words "MAJOR SPOILER ALERT" and the actual spoiler. It's almost impossible to read the warning and then keep from glancing at the next sentence. — Erin Ausiello: Will do, Erin.
Question: When Boone died on Lost, I was so upset. Is there a chance that he is not dead and that he will be coming back next season? — Matthew Ausiello: He's dead, but we'll see him next season in flashbacks.
Question: I'm looking for a good sunless tanner. Any suggestions? — Kat Ausiello: Let's ask TV Guide associate writer/beauty expert, Ali Gazan: "Well, if you don't trust yourself to do it, go to either Hollywood Tans or Mystic Tans where they have this machine that sprays you with a fine mist of bronzer. It looks pretty natural and you won't have to worry about streaking or uneven application. But if standing naked in a booth doesn't sound like a fun way to spend your Saturday, Neutrogena Micro Mist Tanning is a good option. It's easy to apply and goes on evenly." Now, here's a question for you, Kat: I'm looking for a good, pain-free eyebrow waxer. Any suggestions?
Question: What kind of television "expert" goes on vacation during May sweeps? Poorly done. — Ruby Ausiello: I never billed myself as a television expert. I'm a television columnist, and we don't play by the rules. That said, it'll never happen again — I promise!