Question: "The Most Horrible Poem I Have Ever Read In My Life!" But all you're offering this week is some dumb pencil!?! That's TMHPIHEHO! — Budd Wright Ausiello: Wait, I got it: "The Most Horrible Prize I Have Ever Heard Of!" What do I win?!?!?!
Question: Wait, is it not true that Rob Lowe will be back on The West Wing, or not true that Martin Sheen made it possible (Ask Ausiello 6/15)? I'm trying to read between the lines for some shred of hope in this rumor! — Erin Ausiello: Neither one is true. Rob is starring in a London stage revival of A Few Good Men thru December.
Question: Does it stand for "The Most Horrific Poem I Have Ever Read In My Life?" If so, that's kinda mean! It wasn't that bad. No, wait, I read it again; it was. — Ashley Ausiello: Yeah, the more you read it, the worse it gets. And you almost had it, Ash.
Question: Will Kim Raver be back next season on 24? — Sarah Ausiello: Her manager says it "may" happen, although nothing is set in stone.
Question: I wanted to let you know that I'm getting the hidden messages you leave me in your column, and my answer to your latest question is yes! — Jonathan Ausiello: Seriously? That's great! When can I send someone by to pick it up?
Question: TMHPIHERIML stands for "The Most Horrible Poem I Have Ever Heard in My Life." If not, it ought to. However, I totally agree with the PBTP. — Vickie Ausiello: "Point Behind The Poem"? Hey, these things are fun!
Question: I'd like to have your job. How would I go about doing that? — Weston Ausiello: That's easy: Track down my first-grade teacher and ask her about the embarrassing gesture I used to make whenever I got into trouble. Then blackmail me with it.
Question: When is Fox's Prison Break going to air? It looks awesome. — Jenai Ausiello: As I previously raved, it not only looks awesome, it is awesome. You'll be able to see for yourself in exactly 65 days when Fox launches the show on Monday, August 29, with a special two-hour premiere. Wait until you see the final scene of the first hour. It's a bona fide jaw-dropper — on par with "For starters, my name isn't Michael Vaughn... [Crash]."
Question: You broke up with Mariska? Excuse me? I don't think I can read your column anymore. Now go get my favorite detective on the phone right now and verify her pregnancy. — Remi Ausiello: I'm happy to report that my on-again, off-again, on-again, on-again, on-again, on-again, off-again obsession with M.Ha is once again on. The unhealthy fixation was rekindled Monday afternoon during my visit to the Law & Order: SVU set. I don't want to get into specifics, but suffice it to say that she agreed to drop the restraining order she's back in my good graces. Check out next week's AA for the lowdown on those baby rumors and a preview of next fall's SVU.
Question: Dude! Did you hear about a 24 movie being in the works? Make my day and tell me this is true. — E. Golant Ausiello: It's true that the idea has come up (Entertainment News 6/19), but it's just in the discussion stage.
Question: I know I e-mailed you before with hate mail about these stupid acronym puzzles you do every week. Well, that was before I could solve one! "TMHPIHERIML" stands for "The Most Horrible Poem I Have Ever Read In My Life." Bring on the pencil baby!!!! — Eugene Ausiello: You're too late, Euge. The machine has already been turned off.
Question: Did you tell Sarah that she could pet your Kermit in last week's AA? That's disgusting! I thought this was a family website. — Jason Ausiello: It is a family website, but AA remains a sovereign entity and, as such, doesn't have to adhere to the normal codes of decency. That being said, sometimes a Kermit is just a Kermit.
Question: Any scoop on what is going to happen on the next season of The Sopranos? — Stacey Ausiello: Celebrity Fit Club's Joseph R. Ganniscole — aka Tony's recently outed minion Vito Spatafore — has been made a series regular. And his dramatic weight loss will be (humorously) addressed on screen.
Question: My sister and I both love your column. We also both love the late, lamented Eyes. Any eye-dea if ABC is planning to show the remaining unaired episodes? — Laura Ausiello: Eye think we're more likely to see them on DVD, although series creator John McNamara recently admitted via e-mail that he doesn't know if (or when) the discs would be released. "In the past, Warner Bros. has tended not to release shows with such a short network run," he said, "but the market for DVDs is so explosive right now, who knows? I mean, Profit, which had an even shorter run, is coming out in a deluxe edition this August. So you never can predict anything."
Question: Season 2 Battlestar Galactica scoop? — Gerald Ausiello: Two new Cylons will be introduced, and one of them may be played by an actor/actress who previously worked with one of the show's producers. Hmmm...
Question: Hi! How are you?! — Ashley Ausiello: Keri Russell beat out Lindsay Lohan for a role in MI3. How do you think I'm doing? I'm freakin' ecstatic!!!!
Question: Is Vanessa Marcil leaving Las Vegas? — Harold Ausiello: No. Her rep tells me she'll definitely be back.
Question: Any idea if they are going to release Veronica Mars Season 1 on DVD this summer? — Jason Ausiello: Confession time: I lied when I said the Rob Thomas interview was run in its entirety. The truth is, I decided to save the DVD stuff for next week's AA. Don't hate me.
Question: Do you actually send people the prizes you promise, or are you just a liar? — Jeff Ausiello: That's how nasty rumors get started, Jeff. Yes, I most definitely send AA readers their booty, and I have the pictures to prove it.
Question: "The Most Horrible Poem I... something." I lose. — Sophie Ausiello: It was a valiant effort, Sophie.
Question: You have my dream job! How cool is it to talk about television all day long? I would love to get paid for that. How did you ever get this job? — Karina Ausiello: ISWATRP. OK, that's the last one. Seriously, no more after this. The first person to guess correctly what it stands for wins a mint-condition Safari Smurf and one of my TV Guide business cards with my phone number and e-mail address scratched out. And this time, the contest will be cut off today (Wednesday) at 1 pm Eastern Standard Time (that's 10 am for the folks on the West Coast). Good luck! And seriously, this is the last one.
Question: "The Most Hideous Poem I Have Ever Read In My Life?" Do I win? Can I have the CSI coffin instead of the clarinet pencil? — Kristie Ausiello: Enough with the CSI coffin! That highly sought-after piece of TV history has already been put on eBay in my display case. Besides, you were one word off.