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The Love Boat Season 7 Episodes
Season 7 Episode Guide
27 Episodes 1983 - 1984
Episode 1
China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings: Part 1
Sat, Oct 1, 198358 mins
Part 1 of 2. The crew goes to China to work on a cruise, there. Among the passengers is an ailing woman (Ursula Andress) who, while on shore, meets a man (John Forsythe) who tries to get on board but couldn't. But another passenger (Michael Constantine) pulls a gun and slaps handcuffs on him. Doc (Bernie Kopell) meets a woman (Susan Anton) who has a little problem with the medical professionals. A woman (Linda Evans), who's trying to get over her marriage ending, meets a guy (Lee Majors) who, unknown to her or anyone else, writes the advice column, "Dear Roberta", whose advice was what led to her divorce. And a guy (Lee Horsley), who's been juggling two girls (Pat Klous and Erin Moran), has to deal with both of them being on the cruise.
Episode 2
China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings: Part 2
Sat, Oct 1, 198343 mins
Conclusion. On a cruise to the Orient, a man with a past (John Forsythe) meets a woman with an uncertain future (Ursula Andress); Doc (Bernie Kopell) falls for a lady from Hong Kong (Susan Anton); a man's (Lee Horsley) two girlfriends (Pat Klous and Erin Moran), unknown about each other, both come on the cruise; a woman (Linda Evans) falls in love with a man (Lee Majors) who write an advice column.
Episode 3
Bricker's Boy/Lotions of Love/The Hustlers
Sat, Oct 8, 198360 mins
The professional escort (Ted McGinley) of an older woman (Vera Miles) dallies with a young woman (Constance Forslund); a young man (Timothy Patrick Murphy) comes aboard and tells Dr. Bricker (Bernie Kopell) that he is his long-lost son; an advertising executive (Brodie Greer) and his client's (Evelyn Keyes) daughter (Lydia Cornell) work on his client's ad campaign.
Episode 4
Youth Takes a Holiday/Don't Leave Home Without It/Prisoner of Love
Sat, Oct 15, 198360 mins
A couple (Louis Nye and Charlotte Rae) is traveling with their recently-divorced friend (Jamie Farr), who brings his young girlfriend (Heather Locklear) with him. A retired cop (Cornel Wilde) learns that a young man (Glenn Scarpelli), who is a friend of Vicki's (Jill Whelan), is a thief but the thief reminds the cop of his deceased son and the cop has a plan for the thief to turn himself in. An Army captain (Beth Howland), on leave after six months in the Arctic, is looking for male companionship and has set her sights on Gopher (Fred Grandy) and when he refuses her overtures, she locks him in her cabin with her and refuses to let him out.
Episode 5
Rhino of the Year/One Last Time/For Love or Money
Sat, Oct 22, 198360 mins
The Rhinos are a group of happy-go-lucky lodge brothers out for a good time during their annual convention and have chosen Merrill Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) as their honorary Rhino of the Year. Their head, Marv Mason (Mike Douglas), asks Merrill to choose a crew member to say a few words at the award ceremony. But when Merrill chooses Isaac (Ted Lange), the Rhinos reveal themselves as bigots. Barry and Toni Cooper (Kevin McCarthy and Stella Stevens) were married for seventeen years, apart for four months, and are now taking one last cruise before they divorce - unless the romance of an ocean cruise changes their plans. Russ Butler (Paul Kreppel) is traveling with his newly divorced buddy Wally Denton (Paul Sand), who takes a liking to fellow passenger Sally Thorner (Donna Pescow), without knowing that she is a professional sexual surrogate, whom Russ hired to cheer him up.
Episode 6
Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face
Sat, Oct 29, 198360 mins
A man (Gordon Jump) cons his wife (Florence Henderson) into insisting he have an affair; a man (Clint Walker) orders an end to the romance between his daughter (Deborah Shelton) and his best friend (Robert Reed); a cruise line board member's niece (Kim Lankford) expects special treatment, especially from Gopher (Fred Grandy).
Episode 7
Japan Cruise: When Worlds Collide/The Captain and the Geisha/The Lottery Winners/The Emperor's Fortune: Part 1
Sat, Nov 5, 198360 mins
Part 1 of 2. The passengers and crew cruise through Japan. Photographer Lila Pearsell (Heather Thomas) is prejudiced toward the Japanese, because her father was crippled in World War 2. She meets businessman Bud O'Hara (Tony Danza) and falls for him, without knowing that his father (James Shigeta) is Japanese. Martha Chambers (Mariette Hartley), a teacher of Asian history, poses as a geisha girl named Myoshi, to get to know Capt. Merrill Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) better. Dockworker Barney Gordon (Ted Knight) and his wife Gladys (Rita Moreno) are showing off the five million dollars, they won in a lottery, and making the crew uncomfortable. A Japanese businessman pays for widowed Celia Hoffman (Jean Marsh) and her daughter Joanie (Nancy Morgan) to travel to Japan, because they own some embroidered silk artwork that contains one third of a treasure map. Along the way, the two women befriend Harvey Willis (Harvey Korman) and Ben Cummins (John Ritter), who may own the other pieces of the map.
Episode 8
Japan Cruise: When Worlds Collide/The Captain and the Geisha/The Lottery Winners/The Emperor's Fortune: Part 2
Sat, Nov 5, 198360 mins
Conclusion. On a Japanese cruise, an Asian history teacher (Mariette Hartley) impersonates a geisha, in order to stay near the Captain (Gavin MacLeod); the lottery winners (Ted Knight and Rita Moreno) are making the crew's lives uncomfortable.
Episode 9
Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup
Sat, Nov 12, 198360 mins
A carnival owner (Howard Keel) gets mixed messages from a woman (Jan Smithers); a comedy duo (Michael Lembeck and Christopher Mayer) falls for the same woman (Randi Oakes); a man (Dean Butler) only sees the sexy side of his wife (Crystal Bernard).
Episode 10
Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care
Sat, Nov 19, 198360 mins
Julie (Lauren Tewes) claims to be the number one fan of actor Colin Crawford (Engelbert Humperdinck), whose wife Gina (Penny Fuller) is tired of keeping up the charade of being Colin's secretary. Cantankerous Herbert Chandler (Tom Bosley) uses a wheelchair and employs nurse Donna Maloney (Patricia Carr) after having been in an accident, but Doc (Bernie Kopell) wonders why it's taking him so long to lose the wheelchair and recover. Arrogant corporate Vice President Harrison (Bradford Dillman) and his assistant Rick Tucker (Mark Harmon) are both in love with Christine Burton (Cristina Raines) from their payroll office, which complicates Tucker's life, considerably.
Episode 11
The World's Greatest Kisser/Don't Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father
Sat, Nov 26, 198360 mins
A big, hairy guy in a cowboy hat (Dan Haggerty) brings his blonde, giggly BFF (Elaine Joyce) aboard to go sleuthing. He wants her to climb out of her square to find the guy who stole his fiancée, by being the world's greatest kisser. She will have to kiss a lot of frogs in the process, so she starts with the crew. A divorced father (William Christopher) brings his teenaged daughter (Danielle Brisebois) aboard; the secular dad wants to become closer to his child, following the recent death of her mother. Vicki (Jill Whelan) befriends her and shares her similar past experiences. A Hardy young executive (Parker Stevenson) makes his young bride (Kirstie Alley) pretend not to know him on the cruise. His boss (David Doyle), no Angel himself, demands that their business trip is a "boys' only" venture. When the lecherous boss makes a play for his bride, the young man must make a move, or chance losing everything.
Episode 12
Dee Dee's Dilemma/Julie's Blind Date/The Prize Winner
Sat, Dec 3, 198360 mins
A woman (Markie Post), who's being sought by a private detective (Don Gordon) to testify in a messy divorce case, sneaks on board disguised as a young girl, and she finds herself hanging with a father (Geoffrey Scott) and his son (Clark Brandon). A guy (Walter Olkewicz) whom Julie (Lauren Tewes) was set up with, is not exactly her type but before she could dump him, he dumps her, which bruises her ego. An author (Tom Poston) who recently won a literary prize, comes on board with his wife (Abby Dalton) and his assistant (Leslie Easterbrook). It seems that the assistant knows that the book he wrote was not entirely written by him and is using this knowledge to coerce him into having an affair with her.
Episode 13
The Misunderstanding/Love Below Decks/The End Is Near
Sat, Dec 10, 1983
A retired actress (Claire Trevor) seeks help from her son-in-law (James Houghton) in effecting a reconciliation with her daughter (Morgan Brittany); a passenger (Arlene Dahl) has a shipboard romance with the ship's engineer (Vic Tayback); two newlyweds (Delta Burke and Lou Richards) assume the world is coming to an end.
Episode 14
The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike
Sat, Dec 17, 198360 mins
A detective (John Hillerman), traveling with his secretary (Allyn Ann McLerie), investigates the case of a vanished passenger; Julie's (Lauren Tewes) high school friend (Jeannie Wilson) comes aboard with her son (R.J. Williams) for a reunion with her Army Colonel father (Claude Akins), who is expecting to meet his son-in-law; a woman (Didi Conn) is protesting her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve)'s engagement to another woman (Wendy Schaal).
Episode 15
How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!
Sat, Jan 7, 198460 mins
Capt. Stubing (Gavin MacLeod)'s hometown friend Laura Hayes (Rue McClanahan) is married to a volatile salesman George Hayes (Dick Van Patten); to end his alimony payments, Alan Price (Alan Thicke) wants to ensure that his ex-wife Sheila Price (Michelle Phillips) marries her fiancé Lou (Fred Willard); Julie (Lauren Tewes)'s Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing) and her pal, Betsy Bouchet (Betty White), plot to persuade publisher John Drake (Cesar Romero) into publishing Betsy's memoirs.
Episode 16
The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It
Sat, Jan 14, 198460 mins
This cruise is a charity gambling cruise to benefit the Flanders Hospital. Merrill (Gavin MacLeod) was the best man at Florence Flanders' (Celeste Holm) wedding. Florence's never-do-well brother, Frank Bannon (Richard Jaeckel), is addicted to gambling and owes ten thousand dollars to shady Al Dixon (Antony Ponzini). So Frank hires Dixon to run the gambling tables, to Florence's dismay. Newlyweds Nancy and Stewart Sidon (Leah Ayres and Shea Farrell) are considering moving in with his parents for a few years and saving some money before buying their own home and starting a family. But gambling fever gets the best of Nancy and she loses all their wedding check money at the tables. High school teacher Michael Borden (McLean Stevenson) owns an invaluable antique silver dollar, which he plans to sell to a collector in Acapulco, until his girlfriend Sally (Jo Ann Pflug) accidentally drops it into one of the slot machines and accidentally brings out the greedy beast in him.
Episode 17
Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance
Sat, Jan 21, 198460 mins
Haberdasher Bert Multon (Sid Caesar) and his wife, Beatrice (Rose Marie), board for their 25th anniversary and a second honeymoon. But she brings along a framed portrait of her deceased Aunt Emma, who always disparaged Bert and wanted to go on a cruise, but never did. Isaac's former school classmate, Skeet Jamison (Darrow Igus), is a penniless hustler working as a promoter for the Harlem Globetrotters, en route to a game in Puerto Vallarta. 17-year-old Gary Atkins (Philip McKeon) falls for his father Josh's secretary Karen (Irena Ferris), who is already romancing Josh (Bert Convy). And Josh joins the cruise later, creating a menage-a-trois.
Episode 18
Ace in the Hole/Uncle Joey's Song/Father in the Cradle
Sat, Jan 28, 198460 mins
A photographer (Ted McGinley) joins the crew and when all the girls throw themselves at him, it makes the guys unhappy. The retired host (Bernard Hughes) of a children's show comes aboard and tries to help a traumatized boy (David Faustino), whose father died recently. And a guy (Michael Spound) comes aboard to meet his mother (Lee Meriwether), who just got married but is not happy that the guy (Dean Paul Martin) she married is almost his age.
Episode 19
Hong Kong Cruise: Polly's Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City: Part 1
Sat, Feb 4, 198430 mins
Part 1 of 2. On a Hong Kong cruise: a senator (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) romances a woman (Donna Reed), until he learns the nature of her visit; two brothers (Leigh McCloskey and Lee Majors II) date Julie (Lauren Tewes) and Vicki (Jill Whelan); a woman passenger (Brenda Vaccaro) is a shopaholic; a retired spy (Gene Kelly) is on vacation and romances a woman passenger (Yvette Mimieux).
Episode 20
Hong Kong Cruise: Polly's Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City: Part 2
Sat, Feb 4, 198460 mins
Conclusion. On a Hong Kong cruise: a senator (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) romances a woman (Donna Reed), until he learns the nature of her visit; two brothers (Leigh McCloskey and Lee Majors II) date Julie (Lauren Tewes) and Vicki (Jill Whelan); a woman passenger (Brenda Vaccaro) is a shopaholic; a retired spy (Gene Kelly) is on vacation and romances a woman passenger (Yvette Mimieux).
Episode 21
Ace's Valet/Mother Comes First/Hit or Miss America
Sat, Feb 25, 198460 mins
Ace's (Ted McGinley) parents send the family valet, Ernest Finley (Jeremy Brett), to be his valet on the ship, but Ace is afraid that Finley will embarrass him in front of the other crew members. Mrs. Rhodes (Marian Mercer) is afraid of growing old, so her daughter Jenny (Audrey Landers) tries to fix her up with eligible men, by recruiting Gopher (Fred Grandy) to pose as an Eastern Indian named Punjab Singh. Isaac's high school friend, Cassie (Gloria Gifford), wants him to be her date for their upcoming reunion, but he only has eyes for Vanessa Williams, who is one of four Miss Americas on board. And Vanessa has an admirer of her own, Tyrone (Glynn Turman).
Episode 22
The Lady and the Maid/Love Is Blind/The Babymakers
Sat, Mar 3, 198460 mins
Luise Rainer has a dual role as a ship's maid and the twin she's resented for 40 years; a couple (Kin Shriner and Jenilee Harrison) takes a scientific approach to conception; Isaac (Ted Lange) and a blind passenger (LeVar Burton) compete for the same woman (Shari Belafonte).
Episode 23
Side by Side/A Fish Out of Water/Rub Me Tender
Sat, Mar 10, 198460 mins
Teenage Toby Miles (Rossie Harris) is on the cruise with his grandmother, Edna Miles (Glynis Johns), and preoccupied with fear that she is in declining health. Marine life specimens are being stored in the cargo hold en route to the Oceanic Institute in Cabo San Lucas, and socially awkward Allan Bundy (Ed Begley Jr.) accidentally meets an unusual woman (Mary Crosby), while snooping around in there. Mary the ship's masseuse / manicurist (Nita Talbot) quits at the last minute, so Gopher (Fred Grandy) hires Dorrie Butterworth (Mandy Perryment), a masseuse in her own right, on the spur of the moment at boarding but doesn't have the time to tell the Captain (Gavin MacLeod), who falls for her.
Episode 24
A Rose is Not a Rose/Novelties/Too Rich and Too Thin
Sat, Mar 17, 198460 mins
Entertainer Rose York (Rich Little) has been hired to perform on the cruise but has to remain home in bed, so her friend Barry Corwin (also Rich Little) impersonates her, captivating both Julie (Lauren Tewes) (who falls for Barry) and fellow passenger Radford Harcourt (Arte Johnson) (who falls for Rose) in the process. Novelties manufacturer Walter Love (Don Adams) makes both business and romantic propositions to fellow passenger Helen Williams (Audrey Meadows), whom he met at a convention five years earlier. Doc (Bernie Kopell) and Merrill (Gavin MacLeod) both vie for the affections of struggling television commercial actress Jaime Sloane (Jaime Lyn Bauer), who is so desperate to lose weight and win a lucrative assignment, that she is exercising constantly, barely eating, popping diet pills, and even displaying symptoms of anorexia.
Episode 25
Dreamboat/Gopher, Isaac & the Starlet/The Parents/The Importance of Being Johnny/Julie and the Producer: Part 1
Sat, May 5, 198460 mins
Part 1 of 2. A Hollywood movie company is filming a musical, called "Dream Boat", on board the ship, with plans to use both crew and passengers as extras. Starlet Shelley Rush (Melba Moore) desperately wants to audition for the production crew but can't seem to get their attention. Merrill (Gavin MacLeod) falls for faded star Angela Lovett (Alexis Smith), while Vicki (Jill Whelan) is enamored of her son, Johnny Lovett (James A. Osmond), a rock star who has never acted before, is very apprehensive about his debut, and takes it out on Vicki, by being rude to her. Julie (Lauren Tewes) is pursued by the movie's producer, Marty Chenault (Dean Jones), the older brother of Jack Chenault (Tony Roberts), whom Julie almost married; the movie's director, Bennett Barton (Ben Vereen) tries to keep his star, Faye Marsh (Juliet Prowse), happy at Doc's (Bernie Kopell) expense.
Episode 26
Dreamboat/Gopher, Isaac & the Starlet/The Parents/The Importance of Being Johnny/Julie and the Producer: Part 2
Sat, May 5, 198460 mins
Conclusion. The filming of the "Dream Boat" movie musical continues on board the Pacific Princess, in spite of Faye Marsh (Juliet Prowse) being notoriously difficult. Adam (Bernie Kopell) tells Bennett (Ben Vereen) and Marty (Dean Jones) that he finds Faye to be one of the most glamorous women on the screen, prompting them to recruit Adam to spend quality time with her and keep her happy, so that the film shoot will continue without incident. Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange) try to help Shelley Rush (Melba Moore) get noticed by the filmmakers. Angela (Alexis Smith) and Merrill (Gavin MacLeod) get to know each other well. Vicki (Jill Whelan) confides in Adam that she's in love with Johnny (James A. Osmond) and even winds up helping the first-time actor get into character. Julie (Lauren Tewes) and Marty begin a romance. And when the film shoot gets into trouble, Angela comes up with a plan to salvage things.
Episode 27
Best Ex-Friends/All the Congressman's Women/Three Faces of Love
Sat, May 12, 198460 mins
Isaac (Ted Lange) is taken with the new barmaid (Eugenia Wright); a movie makeup man (Sal Viscuso) tests his fiancée's (Heidi Bohay) fidelity; a congressman's (Sam Groom) daughter (Tori Spelling) comes between him and his fiancée (Phyllis Davis).