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The Love Boat Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
29 Episodes 1981 - 1982
Episode 1
The Expedition/Julie's Wedding/The Mongala/Julie's Replacement/The Three R's/The Professor's Wife: Part 1
Sat, Oct 10, 198153 mins
Julie (Lauren Tewes) prepares to marry her fiancé Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews) during a stopover in Sydney, Australia. She asks Vicki (Jill Whelan) to be her bridesmaid; Doc (Bernie Kopell), Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange) to be her ushers; and Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) to give her away. Award-winning anthropologist Milo Endler (Harry Morgan) and Vivian (Katherine Helmond), his wife of fifteen years, are on their way to a dig in the South Pacific. Milo's disgraced colleague Deke Donner (José Ferrer) once embezzled a university's money to bet on the horses at the racetrack. In the South Pacific, Deke plans to present Milo with what could be the find of the century: a Mongala (Patrick Ward), a missing evolutionary link between animals and humans. But Milo is so busy with his work that he neglects frustrated Vivian, who takes a liking to Captain Stubing. New Zealand rancher Ralph Sutton (Patrick Duffy) has a secret that he won't share with English teacher and fellow passenger Barbara Carroll (Michelle Phillips), while young beauty Connie Wilker (Jenilee Harrison) has eyes for him. Gopher and Doc both compete for the affections of new cruise director Yvonne Petty (Delvene Delaney).
Episode 2
The Expedition/Julie's Wedding/The Mongala/Julie's Replacement/The Three R's/The Professor's Wife: Part 2
Sat, Oct 10, 198148 mins
Vicki (Jill Whelan) models the bridesmaid's gown she plans to wear for Julie's (Lauren Tewes) wedding, while Isaac (Ted Lange) finds a flaw in the wedding gift that he bought on the crew's behalf. Barbara (Michelle Phillips) feels jealous of Connie (Jenilee Harrison) and Ralph's (Patrick Duffy) relationship and sends him a love letter, which Connie intercepts. Having been captured by Deke (José Ferrer) and Milo (Harry Morgan), the Mongala (Patrick Ward) is caged below in the hull of the ship. When Milo finds out some new information about the Mongala, Vivian (Katherine Helmond) issues an ultimatum. Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Doc (Bernie Kopell) continue their pursuit of Julie's replacement, Yvonne (Delvene Delaney). While the crew members are in Sydney for the wedding, Julie and Tony give them a tour of the Rossmore Animal Preserve, where Tony is on staff.
Episode 3
Two Grapes on the Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce
Sat, Oct 17, 198170 mins
The Virgin Islands serve as a backdrop for the Grand Prix Wine-Tasting Competition, whose winner receives a $25,000 prize. Judge Alan Curtis (Robert Guillaume) starts a shipboard fling with Marion Blake (Leslie Uggams), without getting to know her well. Julie's Aunt Sylvia Duvall (Carol Channing) is on the cruise with her friend, Betsy Boucher (Betty White). Their scheme is for Betsy to meet the wine competition's sponsor Elliott Banning (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.), marry him, and become a wealthy bride. But their efforts may be in jeopardy due to Sylvia's well-intentioned bumbling. Also among the judges is snobbish judge Vincent Van Durling (Lee Bergere), who seems like a front-runner for the grand prize. Annie and Kevin Butler (Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin) obtain a quickie divorce each year because filing their income tax as a married couple puts them in a higher tax bracket. This is their sixth planned divorce, and this time her impulsive high school classmate, Jeff Thatcher (Robert Walden), is on board as one of the judges in the wine competition. Vicki (Jill Whelan) impatiently waits to receive an autographed photo of Los Angeles Rams quarterback Pat Haden, after requesting it through the mail.
Episode 4
The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim
Sat, Oct 24, 198149 mins
A guy (Brian Kerwin) whom Julie (Lauren Tewes) booked to entertain the passengers, is a male stripper. He's also a teacher and runs into the head of the PTA (Christopher Norris)) and tries to keep her from seeing him perform. A guy (Flip Wilson), whose wife (Marla Gibbs) just divorced him, comes on board and is suicidal. Isaac (Ted Lange) tries to help by calling his wife but she refuses to talk to him. So Isaac tries to set him up with some girls but then his ex-wife shows up. And the Captain (Gavin MacLeod) recognizes one of the passengers as a known jewel thief (Michael Zaslow). And when another passenger's (Henny Backus) diamond pendant is stolen, the Captain suspects him.
Episode 5
Country Blues/Daddy's Little Girl/Jackpot
Sat, Oct 31, 198149 mins
Gopher (Fred Grandy) finds some money and fantasizes how he'll spend it; a country singer (Florence Henderson) meets an old friend (James Noble), who's now a politician and traveling with a female companion (Carol Lawrence); a father (Mason Adams) and daughter (Randi Oakes) come aboard and she meets a veterinarian (Frank Bonner).
Episode 6
Chef's Special/Beginning Anew/Kleinschmidt
Sat, Nov 7, 198149 mins
The head chef (Jay Johnson) is jealous of a new rival chef (Leslie Easterbrook) in the kitchen; a bumbling detective (Bernie Kopell in a dual role) is assigned to protect a client's (Trisha Noble) jewels; two friends (Joan Fontaine and Richard Basehart) reunite.
Episode 7
The Lady from Laramie/Vicki Swings/Phantom Bride
Sat, Nov 14, 198149 mins
An earthy woman (Nancy Dussault) comes between a socialite (Marti Stevens) and her escort (Cesare Danova); psychic researchers (Juliet Mills and Buddy Hackett) search for a ghost aboard the ship; Vicki (Jill Whelan) meets an older boy (Patrick Labyorteaux) traveling alone.
Episode 8
Farnsworth's Fling/Three in a Bed/I Remember Helen/Merrill, Melanie & Melanesia/Gopher Farnsworth Smith: Part 1
Sat, Nov 21, 198150 mins
The crew is in Australia to work on one of the cruise line's ships based there. And a wealthy man named Farnsworth (Lloyd Bridges) has decided to invite his whole family for a reunion. But, in actuality, he wants to see who, among them, he should keep in his will. And among them is his niece, Marcia (Jessica Walters), who is not exactly fond of him, because she believes that, because of him, her father became penniless. And she brings along a friend, Jessica (Linda Evans), who has a knack of getting wealthy men to marry her, for the purpose of getting him to marry her, so that she could get what Marcia thinks she deserves. And he asks his niece, Jenny (Morgan Fairchild), and her husband, Bud (Grant Goodeve), to come but they're divorced so they have to pretend that they're still married. But after her fiancé (Alan Fletcher) calls, he comes aboard and refuses to leave and, when he's told there are no more cabins, he stays with them. And Farnsworth's secretary and niece, Eloise (Beth Howland), gets him a replacement valet, Wayne (Jim Nabors), who's not exactly what he's use to. And Wayne and Eloise get close. Gopher (Fred Grandy) thinks he might be related to Farnswoth and could be entitled to his fortune. Stubbing (Gavin MacLeod) meets an old flame's daughter, Melanie (Margaret Laurence). And when he has to go, she decides to join him and he keeps his distance because he can't seem to separate her from her late mother. And Julie (Lauren Tewes) can't help but think about Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews), the guy she nearly married but he chose not to get married because he was dying.
Episode 9
Farnsworth's Fling/Three in a Bed/I Remember Helen/Merrill, Melanie & Melanesia/Gopher Farnsworth Smith: Part 2
Sat, Nov 21, 198152 mins
After having spent time with his family, William Farnsworth (Lloyd Bridges) has finally decided who will be kept in his will.
Episode 10
Love, Honor and Obey/Gladys and Agnes/Radioactive Isaac
Sat, Nov 28, 198149 mins
A couple (Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara) plan to renew their marriage vows aboard the ship; a tooth filling interferes with Isaac's (Ted Lange) romantic pursuits with his girlfriend (Berlinda Tolbert) and he also has a rival from a male passenger (Darrow Igus); two sisters (Audra Lindley and Marion Ross) take the cruise together and one sister (Lindley) develops a relationship with another passenger (Bernard Fox).
Episode 11
He's My Brother/Zeke and Zelda/Teach Me Tonight
Sat, Dec 5, 198160 mins
Two stowaways (Milton Berle and Martha Raye) pretend to be another couple and they start charging things, not knowing that the crew members, who approve of the charges, will have to pay for items they charge but don't pay for. A woman (Susan Richardson) meets the author (Daryl Anderson) of a book she's reading. And Doc's (Bernie Kopell) brother (Jack Bannon) and sister-in-law (Elaine Joyce) come aboard and his brother has a lot of pent-up resentment against him.
Episode 12
Take a Letter, Vicki/The Floating Bridge Game/The Joy of Celibacy
Sat, Dec 12, 198160 mins
Vicki (Jill Whelan) feels unneeded on the ship and begs Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) to give her a job, so he "hires" her as his personal secretary. But she gets carried away with enthusiasm and prompts the crew to make her workload a little less enjoyable. Three members (Rose Marie, Jan Clayton and Lucille Benson) of a floating bridge game get annoyed when their new fourth member, Shirley Simpson (Nanette Fabray), meets dentist Frank Leonhardt (Robert Alda) on the cruise and decides she would rather get to know him better than play bridge. Emotionally cold Linda Trent (Carlene Watkins) turns down all possible male suitors in no uncertain terms. So fellow passenger Barry Styles (Jim Stafford) introduces himself and tries to win her over by feigning disinterest and claiming to have taken a vow of celibacy.
Episode 13
Doc Take the Fifth/Safety Last/A Business Affair
Sat, Jan 2, 198260 mins
Doc (Bernie Kopell) returns from his vacation and introduces Tania (Irena Ferris), his new wife of a couple of hours, to the crew. Don Adams is a safety inspector taking a vacation and finds danger around every corner on board the ship, but then falls in love with fellow passenger Alice (Britt Ekland). The president of a financial group (Robert Fuller) comes aboard to talk his female VP (Judy Norton) out of resigning, due to untrue rumors about them having an affair.
Episode 14
Good Neighbors/Captain's Portrait/Familiar Faces
Sat, Jan 9, 198260 mins
Two passengers (Arlene Golonka and Sonny Shroyer) meet during the boarding and although attracted to one another, they find they live at the same address and the lady has a rule about dating someone who lives in her own apartment building. The Captain (Gavin MacLeod) is to greet a famous female artist (Lee Meriwether) aboard, who has been commissioned by the ship line to paint his portrait. A romance begins and the artist decides to paint an unconventional portrait of the captain, naked, and from memory. When a couple (Mary Beth McDonough and Dean Butler) on their honeymoon come aboard, an older passenger (Henry Jones) vaguely recognizes the younger man's face, but can't recall where he knows him from. The young honeymooner knows exactly where they first met, but denies knowing the older man.
Episode 15
I Don't Play Anymore/Gopher's Roomate/Crazy for You
Sat, Jan 23, 198260 mins
Gopher (Fred Grandy) thinks he knows a female passenger (Mackenzie Phillips) but just can't remember from where. When she reveals how they know each other, it shocks him. A man (Dick Shawn), who feigned being mentally ill so that he could get his full pension, is being followed by a woman (Joanna Cassidy) who tasked with proving he's faking. A concert pianist (James MacArthur), who has stopped playing because he has arthritis in his hands, is being pestered by some fans (Pat McCormick and Joyce Jameson) to play. Initially, he refuses but, upon meeting one of the ship's staff (Donna Pescow) who needs an operation, he agrees to give a performance.
Episode 16
Green, But Not Jolly/Past Perfect Love/Instant Family
Sat, Jan 30, 1982
A fellow (Bert Convy) believes he was married to a woman (Tanya Roberts) in a past life; Julie decides to change her hairstyle, which results in a shade of green; a high school coach (John Phillip Law) is attracted to a woman (Lynda Day George) with a hyperactive son (Corey Feldman).
Episode 17
The Return of the Captain's Lady/Love Ain't Illegal/The Irresistible Man
Sat, Feb 6, 198260 mins
An old flame (Pat Crowley) of the Captain's (Gavin MacLeod) returns for a cruise. As the captain prepares to propose, Doc (Bernie Kopell) and Isaac (Ted Lange) discovers some news, which will cause the Captain some distress. Two business partners (Dick Martin and Robert Mandan) and their secretary (Phyllis Davis) are on the cruise to celebrate winning a large contract. One partner (Martin) is not as honest as he seems and tries to use his secretary's love for him to cover his underhanded tricks. In an attempt to get the attention of a woman (Lydia Cornell) he cares for, a passenger (Linwood Boomer) reports that he had been sexually attacked by an unknown female passenger in a darkened hall closet, but the woman's friend and fellow passenger (Pat Klous) is attracted to the man.
Episode 18
His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still
Sat, Feb 13, 198260 mins
A businessman (Dick Van Patten) takes his prissy secretary (Rue McClanahan) on a business trip. When he meets a dizzy blonde (Judy Landers), his problem is how does he get his secretary to quit, so he can hire the blonde. Wilfred (Tom Smothers) offers the crew $10,000 if they can find him a pretty wife. He's soon surrounded by five beautiful women, all fighting for his attention, and the crew trying to win a quick ten grand. When the crew find out Wilfred lied about paying the money so he can meet girls, the crew get the flower shop girl (Connie Stevens) to pretend to be his wife. Two childhood sweethearts, separated since school, meet up on the cruise. How does the girl (Denise Miller) tell her old boyfriend (James A. Osmond) that she now lives with a back brace, due to a spine disease.
Episode 19
New York, A.C./Live It Up/All's Fair in Love and War
Sat, Feb 20, 198260 mins
Divorced buddies Archie Phillips (Edd Byrnes), Joe Baylor (Fabian) and Ron Colton (Bobby Sherman) are paying heavy alimony, so they have sworn off serious relationships and formed the New York Alimony Club, to prevent each other from getting serious with a woman. But realtor Kate Ladell (Annette Funicello), who has just received a free cruise as a reward for her outstanding sales record this year, meets them and may challenge their system. Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) has just delivered a eulogy for a childhood friend named George, who died suddenly. Now, Stubing feels depressed and has decided to live every day as if it were his last. New Yorker Jim (Ron Ely) is having an extra-marital affair with Californian Laura (Jill St. John), who claims to be the secret in Jim's secret life and wants to end the affair. But, Jim is happy with the current situation, so Laura issues an ultimatum.
Episode 20
The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier: Part 1
Sat, Feb 27, 198260 mins
The crew surprises Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) with the news that they are putting on a musical revue as entertainment for the passengers, with a script co-written by Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange). Gopher's mother Ros (Ethel Merman), Julie's Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing), Isaac's mother Millie (Della Reese), and Doc's former mother-in-law Connie Carruthers (Ann Miller) are all planning to take part but also expecting to star in it. The Captain publicly declines to play the lead role in it, but privately fantasizes about being in it and even practices for it. Also aboard are film star Victor Moncrief (Van Johnson), who retired from show business ten years earlier, and Lionel J. Bigelow (Cab Calloway), who is pestering Isaac's mother to marry him. Along the way, Victor finds out that the check he used to pay for his cruise has bounced. Gopher takes a liking to Doc's former sister-in-law Trish (Tracey E. Bregman), and winds up arguing with Doc over it. Gopher also argues with Isaac over the content of the show. Julie's Aunt Sylvia is worried about her missing husband Elliott, because she had a dream in which Elliott is cheating on her. Millie resents the way that Captain Stubing treats Isaac.
Episode 21
The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier: Part 2
Sat, Feb 27, 198260 mins
Lionel Bigelow (Cab Calloway) promises Millie Washington (Della Reese) that he will give Isaac (Ted Lange) an executive position, if Millie will marry him. Doc's (Bernie Kopell) former in-laws (Ann Miller and Tracey E. Bregman) try to help him reconcile with Gopher (Fred Grandy). An anonymous stranger has found out about Victor Moncrief's (Van Johnson) financial troubles and paid for his passage on the cruise. Julie's Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing) continues trying to reach her missing husband, as Ros (Ethel Merman), Connie (Ann Miller), Millie, and Sylvia all continue to squabble among themselves.
Episode 22
Pride of the Pacific/The Viking's Son/Separate Vacations/The Experiment/Getting to Know You: Part 1
Sat, Mar 6, 198260 mins
The Klondike Carnival Cruise Competition serves as the backdrop for this cruise, pitting Captain Merrill Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) and his Pacific Princess crew against his stern humorless arch-rival, Captain Gunner Norquist (Ted Knight), and his Sun Princess crew in a series of competitive events beginning in Vancouver, British Columbia and ending in Ketchikan, Alaska. Gunner's son Trig (Woody Brown) has just graduated from navigation school and been assigned to Merrill Stubing, which enrages Gunner Norquist and intensifies a longtime rivalry between the two captains. Gunner spent 25 years in Merrill's shadow and is now both jealous of Merrill and determined to best him in the competition at any cost. Trig doubts his own navigation abilities and would much rather be a cruise director but is afraid to tell his father. Meanwhile, Harry and Dorothy Meacham (Tom Bosley and Michele Lee) are divorcing after 15 years of marriage and taking separate vacations, with her on the Pacific Princess striking up a romance with Doc (Bernie Kopell), while Harry cruises on the Sun Princess and getting to know the ship's masseuse Britta Sorenson (Priscilla Barnes) very well. Dr. Skip Van Damme's (John James) Harvard University professors expect him to make a major discovery by his 30th birthday, so he boards the ship with his fiancée Megan Lewis (Mary Crosby) and his scientific equipment to perfect an aphrodisiac, that he calls Macho Mints. They find their experiment's guinea pig in the form of shy mousy bachelor Dave Pursinger (Douglas Barr), who is traveling alone and not doing well at meeting new people. Ellen van Bowe and Jesse Dobson (Charlotte Rae and Charles Nelson Reilly) plan to spend the entire cruise, alone together in their cabin, wearing their pajamas and getting acquainted because they feel love at first sight and they want to be sure they are right for each other, without waiting through a lengthy engagement. When both cruise ships reach Vancouver, the crew members compete in such events as a pole climb, buzz saw competition, mud wrestling, and a walk-a-plank tug-of-war. Gunner Norquist threatens to disown his son Trig if Trig doesn't change his allegiance and come to work for his father on the Sun Princess.
Episode 23
Pride of the Pacific/The Viking's Son/Separate Vacations/The Experiment/Getting to Know You: Part 2
Sat, Mar 6, 198260 mins
Ellen and Jesse (Charlotte Rae and Charles Nelson Reilly) are beginning to get annoyed with each other and to find the cruise monotonous. Having been beaten during the games in Vancouver, Merrill Stubing's (Gavin MacLeod) competitive spirit kicks in and he becomes as tough as Gunner Norquist (Ted Knight) is, upsetting Vicki (Jill Whelan) and relentlessly driving his crew to physical exhaustion. Harry Meachum (Tom Bosley) romances Britta the masseuse (Priscilla Barnes), who tells him Gunner Norquist hired professional athletes to rig the games. When Merrill hears this, he bears down even harder, until Vicki persuades him to join the competition, personally, and race against Gunner on dog sleds in Ketchikan, Alaska. Megan Lewis (Mary Crosby) resents Dr. Skip Van Damme's (John James) workaholic tendencies and he finds that his Macho Mints doesn't work as planned.
Episode 24
Isaac Gets Physical/She Brought Her Mother Along/Cold Feet
Sat, Mar 20, 198260 mins
A nurse (Shirley Hemphill) comes on board to give the crew their company physical but Isaac tries to avoid her, because there's a congenital condition in his family that he fears could jeopardize his job, and the nurse is also attracted to him. A young woman (Connie Needham), who's dating an older man (Gene Barry), brings her mother (Betsy Palmer) to meet him. And when she does, she discovers that he's her old boyfriend. And Julie's (Lauren Tewes) cousin (Richard Dean Anderson) comes on board with his fiancée (Linda Blair) and tells Julie he wants to dump his fiancée because she's "nice", "very nice".
Episode 25
Burl of My Dreams/Meet the Author/Rhymes, Riddles, and Romance
Sat, Mar 27, 198260 mins
Vicki (Jill Whelan) is anxious to reconnect with a guy she knew in school, but he (Rad Daly) can only see her for the tomboy she used to be; Julie's (Lauren Tewes) cousin (Jared Martin) hopes to sign a world-famous writer (Alan Hale Jr.), but the writer has a secret he's hiding; two competing treasure hunters (Joanna Pettet and Paul Williams) think that there's a treasure hidden on the boat and that it might be located in Isaac's (Ted Lange) cabin.
Episode 26
Pal-I-Mony-O-Mine/Does Father Know Best?/An 'A' for Gopher
Sat, Apr 10, 198260 mins
A doctor (Ben Vereen) feels uncomfortable when his barrister companion (Denise Nicholas) becomes too friendly with his ex-lover (Lynne Moody); Gopher (Fred Grandy) pines for his former H.S. teacher (Susan Strasberg); a man (Lloyd Bochner) gives tips to his son (Kevin Brophy) on how to pick up girls, but the son (Brophy) and another passenger (Patty Freedman) get together the old-fashioned way.
Episode 27
April in Boston/Saving Grace/Breaks of Life
Sat, May 1, 198260 mins
April Lopez (Charo) is back again, this time as a Spanish tutor to Bradford York (David Hedison), the proper headmaster of a New England boys' boarding school. Brad was widowed four years earlier and wouldn't approve of her chanteuse habits, which may go on display when the planner/entertainer cancels and Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) presses Julie (Lauren Tewes) to find a replacement. Lonely widow Grace Bostwick (Jane Powell) plans to throw herself overboard, but a white-suited man named Gabriel (Hugh O'Brian) claims to be her guardian angel and may be able to stop her. After ten years of marriage, newly-divorced George and Gwen Finley (Gene Rayburn and Jayne Meadows) are vacationing, together, on the same cruise. But their enjoyment is cut short when both of them suffer injuries and wind up in the infirmary, together.
Episode 28
A Dress to Remember
Sat, May 8, 198260 mins
This story follows a dress and how it affects three people. First, a model (Markie Post) who's trying out a new diet program, who is suppose to wear it to show how much weight she lost and it's been designed to fit her after losing the weight. She's starving and she meets a guy (Lyle Waggoner) who, unknown to her, is the former partner of the doctor (Kelly Monteith), whose diet she's following. He gets her to try his program, which has her eating candy bars, among other things. And a woman (Eleanor Parker), who sells flowers on the dock, freaks out because the daughter (Catherine Parks), she hasn't seen for 20 years, comes on board to see her. She tells the Captain (Gavin MacLeod) that she told her that she's a woman of means and asks him to tell her she's not on the ship. But the Captain tells her she is and tells the woman she's coming on the cruise and the Captain lets her wear the dress, when she meets her daughter. And a guy (Bob Denver), a friend of Doc (Bernie Kopell), comes on board to try and win her back his wife (Brianne Leary), because she caught him in a compromising position and threw him out. When he learns that her father (Forrest Tucker), who wants to kill him, is with her, he gets the dress and wears it, so that her father won't recognize him. And Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange) are frantic because they're suppose to take care of the dress for the model (Markie Post).
Episode 29
Mothers Don't Do That/Marrying for Money/Substitute Lover
Sat, May 15, 198260 mins
Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange) think that young Lola Trout (Caren Kaye) has married her wealthy older husband Orville (Arte Johnson) for his money and that she may be trying to get rid of him, so that she can inherit it. Divorced Marian Healy (Eva Gabor) meets her long-absent son Danny (Brad Savage) and wants to try to reconnect with him but, after he reads her diary, he wants to get away from her. Julie's (Lauren Tewes) high school friend Bert Brodie (Eddie Mekka) is taken with fellow passenger Marla Bennett (Audrey Landers) and pretends to be the pen pal, whom she plans to meet on-board.
