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Seinfeld Season 8 Episodes
Season 8 Episode Guide
22 Episodes 1996 - 1997
Episode 1
The Foundation
Thu, Sep 19, 199623 mins
After Susan dies, George decides to live the high life by going the bachelor pad route. But his fun quickly ends when Jerry quotes Star Trek II and the Ross's decide to create a foundation in Susan's memory. Jerry gets reacquainted with Mulva (see episode "The Junior Mint") and decides to do some research into which recent break-up story was more believable - his or George's. Elaine gets in trouble when J. Peterman flees to Burma and puts her in charge of the catalog. She doesn't think she is up to the task of running a large business until Kramer motivates her with some life lessons he learned in martial arts training. The stories do the trick until Elaine discovers who Kramer has really been fighting.
Episode 2
The Soul Mate
Thu, Sep 26, 199623 mins
George is convinced that the chairman of the Susan Biddle Foundation thinks he killed Susan. He tries to record their conversation when he's not there but doesn't quite get it right. Elaine meets some old friends all of whom now have babies. She of course does not want children and that leads her to a like-minded new boyfriend, Kevin. Jerry's new girlfriend Pam drops in on Jerry but it's Kramer who is smitten. The more Kramer says he likes her however, the more Jerry does as well.
Episode 3
The Bizarro Jerry
Thu, Oct 3, 199624 mins
Elaine meets Kevin's friends and feels likes she's entered the world of Bizarro Jerry where her world is in reverse. Jerry has a date with Gillian, a woman with man hands. George hits on a new sob story to try and get in with a beautiful receptionist. Kramer gets an unpaid job at a upscale firm.
Episode 4
The Little Kicks
Thu, Oct 10, 199623 mins
Kramer's friend Brody forces Jerry to bootleg the movie Death Blow. George follows Elaine to her office party and finds out that she has a "unique" dancing style. She starts to get a weird vibe from her subordinates and blames it all on George. George becomes the bad boy and wins the affection of Elaine's employee Anna. Jerry finds out that he is a gifted bootlegger and demands perfection while shooting Cry, Cry, Again. Kramer tells Elaine she can't dance. She then videotapes herself dancing over the bootleg of Cry, Cry, Again. Elaine apologizes over the phone to George calling him a "good seed." He tries to win back Anna's affection by pretending to be a bootlegger. George is arrested and has to be picked up by his father. While picking up Anna from the police station, Elaine and Frank Costanza throw fists.
Episode 5
The Package
Thu, Oct 17, 199623 mins
Kramer tries to get a "refund" for Jerry's broken stereo. Jerry is against the idea until he gets a mysterious package in the mail. Newman accuses Jerry of mail fraud when Uncle Leo signs for the package and an explosion is heard while he is talking to Jerry. George, meanwhile, gets involved with "Photo Store Shelia" when she accidentally slips an enticing photo in George's pictures. George decides to send one back, but the plan backfires. And Elaine gets a rash and is barred from every doctor in New York when she takes a peek at her medical chart.
Episode 6
The Fatigues
Thu, Oct 31, 199623 mins
Kramer volunteers to set up a Jewish singles mixer. He has a hard time finding a cook for the event until he learns that Frank was a cook in the Korean War. But Frank refuses to cook for the event because he experienced a severe case of shell shock. Meanwhile, Elaine tries to get rid of an unruly employee in Peterman's mailing room but winds up promoting the guy instead. Jerry dates a woman with a mentor, but he gets weirded out when he finds out that the mentor is dating hack comic Kenny Bania. Jerry, inspired by this, decides to take Bania under his wing and mentor Bania to the top. George must give a report on the subject of risk management for the Yankees.
Episode 7
The Checks
Thu, Nov 7, 199623 mins
Elaine falls hard for her new boyfriend, who gets hypnotized every time he hears the song "Desperado." Jerry has to endorse hundreds of royalty checks from Japan because of his work on the "Super Terrific Happy Hour Show." The checks are worth 12 cents each. Jerry claims that he invented the umbrella twirl and then gets ousted by the umbrella salesmen he used to work with. Elaine's new boyfriend has a thing for a furniture designer named Karl Farbman. He buys Kramer a dresser made by Farbman. Kramer's Japanese friends run out of money and wind up staying in the drawers of the dresser. When the hot tub warps the drawers (Jerry can't open them because his hands are cramped from endorsing checks) he axes the Farbman dresser. Elaine's boyfriend tries to stop him but Jerry swings and hits him in the head. While at the hospital, the doctor loses his patient when he becomes hypnotized by Elaine's favorite song, "Witchy Woman."
Episode 8
The Chicken Roaster
Thu, Nov 14, 199623 mins
Kenny Rogers' Roasters sets up shop across the street from Jerry and Kramer's apartments. Unfortunately, their unusually large chicken sign causes problems for everybody. Kramer and Jerry wind up switching apartments--and personalities--because of it.
Episode 9
The Abstinence
Thu, Nov 21, 199623 mins
When George's new girlfriend gets mononucleosis, he's told there'll be no sex for at least six weeks. Frustrated, he begins to realize he has interests in science and history. Jerry says the lack of sex has made him smarter as he's now concentrating on his brain. For Elaine however, the lack of sex is having the opposite effect. Jerry is supposed to speak at career day at his old junior high but is continually being bumped first by someone who goes over his time and then by a fire drill. Kramer doesn't like having to go outside the restaurant to smoke and seeing there are many in the same boat, decides to turn his apartment into a smoker's lounge. It all has a serious effect on his looks and turns to lawyer Jackie Chiles to get justice.
Episode 10
The Andrea Doria
Thu, Dec 19, 199623 mins
A shipwreck survivor beats George out of an apartment, so he decides to tell the apartment board the astonishing tales of Costanza. Elaine dates a guy who has had a series of really bad break-ups. Kramer gets a nagging cough and seeks veterinary advice. Jerry learns that Newman is up for a transfer to Hawaii and tries to help him deliver mail.
Episode 11
The Little Jerry
Thu, Jan 9, 199723 mins
Kramer gets a pet rooster that he names after Jerry. Jerry bounces a check at the local liquor store but has difficulty paying it off. So much in fact, that his parents think that Jerry is strapped for cash. Marcelino, the owner of the liquor store, tells Jerry that there is money to be made in underground cockfighting rings. When Little Jerry wins his first fight, Marcelino wants to buy the bird, but Jerry and Kramer refuse to sell. Meanwhile, as part of his duties with the Foundation, George goes to a women's prison where they have just donated a generous sum of money. George dates one of the inmates and gets really turned on by the concept of "conjugal visit sex." When the prisoner escapes, George discovers something even better than conjugal visit sex - fugitive sex. Elaine dates a man who shaves his head, but when she convinces him to grow his hair in, he discovers that he's going bald and looks exactly like George.
Episode 12
The Money
Thu, Jan 16, 199723 mins
Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac. His parents sell it to Jack Klompus for $6000 and try to give Jerry the money. Elaine has stock options at Peterman's; when she buys George coffee, he feels that she is "sticking" it to him. George tries to convince his parents to stay in Queens because he wants their money; they then decide to buy expensive things and move to Florida. Kramer's girlfriend has the "jimmy legs" and they sleep at the Costanzas' apartment when they go to Florida. Jerry buys back the Cadillac from Klompus for $14,000, Klompus crashes it along Alligator Alley, and Jerry must sleep in it because he has no money. Elaine hires Morty Seinfeld because he thinks he needs to support Jerry. Peterman returns and dismisses Elaine from her position with no stock options. The Seinfelds sell their condo and attach a camper to their Cadillac.
Episode 13
The Comeback
Thu, Jan 30, 199724 mins
George gets insulted by a co-worker named Reilly during a business meeting with the line "Hey George, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp." He plans to get back at him with the "jerk store" remark, which all his friends try to change. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from Milos, a tennis pro-shop worker, because he thinks he is a great tennis player. Jerry finds out that Milos is a terrible tennis player and Milos offers Jerry his wife, Patty as some sort of "medieval sexual payola." Patty loses respect for Milos so Milos begs Jerry to let him win a game of tennis in front of Patty. Elaine is renting videos from "Vincent's Picks" and develops a secret phone relationship with him. She betrays him when she rents "Weekend at Bernie's," a "Gene Pick." Kramer asks Elaine to act as a witness to "pull the plug" if he ever goes into a coma because he watches "The Other Side of Darkness." He finds out that the woman coma victim wakes up and changes his mind after he signs the will. Vincent sends Elaine the play button of his VCR. George flies to Akron to try and zing Reilly with his "jerk store" remark. Elaine meets Vincent at his apartment with vodka, cigarettes, and fireworks and finds out that he is 15 years old. Kramer goes to meet his lawyer, Shellback, and gets pummeled with tennis balls. George's "jerk store" remark flops, and he tells Reilly that he had sex with his wife. George then learns that Reilly's wife is in a coma.
Episode 14
The Van Buren Boys
Thu, Feb 6, 199723 mins
Kramer has a run-in with a gang named after president Van Buren, but he accidentally flashes their secret sign and becomes a member of the gang. Elaine finds this fascinating as she's ghost-writing Peterman's autobiography and needs some stories to use as filler material. George has to pick a scholarship recipient and picks an average Joe instead of an over achiever.
Episode 15
The Susie
Thu, Feb 13, 199723 mins
A co-worker of Elaine's thinks Elaine is called Susie, and Elaine doesn't bother to correct her, when she badmouths Elaine to "Susie." Elaine complains of this to Jerry, who commiserates with her. Later, Peggy gets "Susie" called in front of Peterman, who demands that Elaine be there also. Elaine finds a way to wriggle out of the situation so that neither realizes Susie doesn't exist. Meanwhile, Kramer puts 100 dollars on a basketball game in Jerry's name with Mike, the guy who called Jerry a phony in "The Parking Space." When Kramer attends the game, he gets in a fight with the players, causing Jerry to win his bet. Mike doesn't have enough money to pay Jerry, however, so he tells him that he'll fix his trunk. As he's looking at it, Jerry doesn't notice him and closes the trunk on Mike's hands. Mike thinks this is a classic case of having his thumbs broken because he can't pay, so he promises he'll get the money. Later, as he's trying to fix it again, Mike falls into the trunk, which locks behind him. When Jerry and Elaine are driving around, Elaine is complaining about Susie, and Jerry says she should "eliminate" her. Mike hears them say this, and then hears them laughing, but he doesn't know they're laughing at a bumper sticker. The next day, Peterman assigns Susie to a project that Elaine wanted, so she tells Peterman that Susie took her own life. Jerry goes with Elaine to Susie's wake, where they discover that, although Susie only existed for a few days, she has more friends than Elaine, because the room is packed. Peggy see Elaine and thinks she's Susie back from the dead. Elaine tells her that she is Elaine, and Peggy realizes she never met Susie. Elaine goes up to give the eulogy, but Peterman pushes her aside before she has to think of something to say. He then gives this long string of events which clearly never happened and Peterman invent, such as Susie and he sleeping together. Meanwhile, Mike manages to escape from the trunk and realizes he's at the wake of the girl he heard should be "eliminated." He runs in and tells everyone that Jerry killed her, and Jerry just laughs. Peterman puts Elaine in charge of a foundation in Susie's honor, which she will spend every spare moment on. This parallel's George's own experience with Susan's death exactly, even down to the exaggerated yell of "SUUUUSIEEEE!" George is dating a sexy blonde, Allison, who has just bought a backless black dress for a ball, and he intends to have her spin her way in. George can't wait, because it'll be his first grand entrance. He's made a lot of grand exits, but for once, he wants to be known as soon as he walks into the room. There is one problem, however; Allison wants to break up with him. He starts not leaving his house and screening his calls because, "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He even goes so far as to call her at her house, even though he knows she's at work. However, Kramer breaks up with him for Allison, and decides to attend the ball with George, without George's knowledge. When George tells Kramer to leave, they start pulling on each other, which causes George to fall forward, ripping the back of Kramer's suit and sending him twirling into the room, just as Allison would have done. Everyone congratulates George on a grand entrance.
Episode 16
The Pothole
Thu, Feb 20, 199723 mins
Germaphobe Jerry accidentally knocks his girlfriend's toothbrush into her toilet, and after retrieving it, she uses it before he can stop her. He tries to overcome his revulsion while making up excuses not to kiss her. Kramer adopts a section of highway and tries to improve it. When a Chinese restaurant won't deliver to her address, Elaine tries to get the food delivered by using a janitor's closet in a different building. George drops his keys in a pothole, which gets filled and he tries to dig it out.
Episode 17
The English Patient
Thu, Mar 13, 199723 mins
Jerry visits his parents in Florida. Kramer asks Jerry to pick up some Cubans while he's there, but Kramer doesn't specify whether they are cigars or not. The next day, Jerry has an encounter with Izzy Mandelbaum, the founder of the Magic Pan crepe restaurant. Izzy challenges Jerry to a weight-lifting contest, but when Izzy takes it too far, he winds up in the hospital. Jerry goes to visit and learns that Izzy, his father and his son are nearly identical in age, and each one challenges Jerry to a weight-lifting contest. Meanwhile, back in New York, Elaine is repeatedly dragged to go see the best picture winning film The English Patient (1996), but she absolutely despises it. Peterman nearly fires Elaine when she gets angry and leaves half way through the movie. Peterman gets so angry at Elaine that instead of firing her, he decides to teach her a lesson by making her go to Tunisia and live in a cave for six weeks. Jerry gets back to New York and Kramer learns that the Cubans aren't really Cubans but Dominicans. They then take jobs rolling crepes at the Magic Pan restaurant, but get fired and wind up becoming Cubans, hijacking Elaine's plane and flying it to Cuba.
Episode 18
The Nap
Thu, Apr 10, 199723 mins
George needs to find a way to have a nap at work. His glass wall doesn't seem to make that possible but he finds a way anyways. He runs into a bit of trouble when Mr. Steinbrenner wants to see him and decides to wait in George's office. Elaine has a problem with her new boyfriend Hal who has a new mattress delivered to house. Kramer has taken up swimming but finds the pool crowded. He finds a new place that gives him lots of room - the East River. Jerry is losing his patience with the man he's hired to install new kitchen cabinets.
Episode 19
The Yada Yada
Thu, Apr 24, 199726 mins
George's new girlfriend often fills in her stories with the expression yada-yada leaving out much of the detail. Jerry tells him she's being concise but not knowing what's going starts to drive George crazy. Jerry meanwhile is convinced that his dentist, Tim Whatley, has converted to Judaism to he can tell Jewish jokes. When he continues to tell Catholic jokes, he even complains to Whatley's former priest. It all leads Kramer to accuse him of being an anti-Dentite. Elaine is asked by friends to be a character reference with a adoption agency but she doesn't exactly help them. Kramer and Mickey can't quite agree on which of two women they've met they'd like to date.
Episode 20
The Millennium
Thu, May 1, 199723 mins
Kramer and Newman begin preliminary planning on elaborate parties for New Year's Eve 1999, but separate over including Jerry. George gets a job offer with the Mets and devises creative ways to get fired from the Yankees. Jerry dates a girl named Valerie who uses her speed dial as a way of measuring relationships. But when Jerry takes over the top spot, Valerie's stepmother demands that her spot be put back in place. Meanwhile, Elaine gets in a feud with the owner of a Mayan clothing store who completely ignores her.
Episode 21
The Muffin Tops
Thu, May 8, 199723 mins
While promoting Peterman's book, Elaine runs into her former boss, Mr. Lippman, and tells him about an idea to sell only the tops of muffins. Lippman does, and Elaine is shocked to see the store, until he gives her a cut of the profits and she tells him how to improve the business. Kramer learns that Elaine put her stories in Peterman's book (see "The Van Buren Boys"), but when Peterman won't give Kramer a cut of the profits, Kramer starts the Peterman Reality Bus Tour. Elaine has a hard time getting rid of the muffin stumps and asks Kramer to take the bus to haul the trash to the dump, but the task is easier said than done. George is asked to watch a guy's suitcase on the street and is mistaken for a tourist. He then gets a date with the head of the New York tourist bureau and decides to run with it. But then the girl meets Steinbrenner and thinks that George is working two jobs, and George ultimately gets traded to Tyler Chicken in Little Rock, Arkansas in exchange for a bunch of chicken products to be used at Yankee Stadium concession stands. Meanwhile, Jerry starts shaving his chest to impress his new girlfriend.
Episode 22
The Summer of George
Thu, May 15, 199723 mins
With three months' severance pay from the Yankees, George decides that he's going to have a great summer. Things don't quite go as planned. Jerry meanwhile is dating someone new, Lanette, whom he invites to attend the Tony awards with him. When he picks her up, however, she seems to have a live-in boyfriend. Kramer is also at the awards ceremony and gets dragged on stage with some of the winners. He basks in the glow of having 'won' a Tony, and the producers decide to use him to get rid of their star, Raquel Welch. At her work, Elaine makes a comment about a co-worker and is accused of being catty.
