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Seinfeld Season 7 Episodes
Season 7 Episode Guide
22 Episodes 1995 - 1996
Episode 1
The Engagement
Thu, Sep 21, 199524 mins
While sitting in the coffee shop, Jerry and George resolve to grow up and take life more seriously. Jerry decides to call the woman he recently broke up with - because she shushed him. For his part, George has been thinking a lot about his former girlfriend Susan. After imagining the ideal life they could have together, he goes to her apartment and proposes. She accepts and George almost immediately begins to have second thoughts, especially after Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend a second time. Elaine meanwhile is having trouble with a neighbor's barking dog and enlists the help of two professionals to get rid of the problem: Kramer and Newman.
Episode 2
The Postponement
Thu, Sep 28, 199523 mins
Immediately after proposing, George tries to postpone his marriage to Susan. Elaine becomes increasingly jealous of George's engagement and has a discussion with her neighbor, a rabbi, who then proceeds to tell the whole neighborhood. Kramer sneaks a caffé latte in the movie theater and burns himself, and he hires Jackie Chiles in an effort to sue the coffee shop.
Episode 3
The Maestro
Thu, Oct 5, 199523 mins
Kramer is pursuing his lawsuit against a coffee shop for selling him coffee that was too hot. Jackie Chiles represents him and thinks they'll make a fortune. He may have a problem when Elaine's new boyfriend gives him a balm that cleans up his burn mark overnight. The boyfriend, who conducts the police band, insists that everyone call him Maestro, which is just a bit too pretentious. Meanwhile, George goes shopping with Susan at a store owned by her family. He's not too keen on the clothes she thinks he should wear and he's bothered by the fact that the security guard must stand all day.
Episode 4
The Wink
Thu, Oct 12, 199523 mins
Jerry squirts grapefruit juice in George's eye and he develops and uncontrollable wink in his eye. This causes Kramer to sell Steinbrenner's birthday card and George's co-worker Morgan to get fired. Elaine is dating a wake up service guy named James she met on the phone. Jerry is dating Elaine's cousin Holly who loves to eat meat. Jerry tries to impress her by pretending to eat her mutton but actual stuffs the chewed up pieces into Grandma Mima's napkins and into his jacket. Elaine borrows Jerry's jacket and gets chased by dogs. She has to spend the night at her boyfriend's house and they sleep head to toe on his sofa bed. Kramer makes a deal with a terminally ill boy named Bobby that if Paul O'Neill hits two home runs he will give Kramer the birthday card back. James's dogs find the mutton and the used napkins are used as dog bandannas. Holly tries to cook Jerry pork chops and he stuffs it into his sofa and James's dogs find it as well.
Episode 5
The Hot Tub
Thu, Oct 19, 199523 mins
Wilhelm thinks George is cracking under the pressure of working in the big leagues. So he has George entertain a group of visiting baseball officials from the Houston Astros, who are in New York to discuss inter-league play. George picks up a bad habit from them, who call everyone either a "bastard" or a "son of a bitch." Kramer buys a hot tub from his friend Lomez and installs it in his apartment. At the same time, Elaine is having a marathon runner from Trinidad And Tobago named Jean Paul Jean Paul stay with her as a house guest. Jean Paul was in the Olympics and became famous for having over slept and missed the entire race. She tells Jerry about it, and Jerry meets Jean Paul. Jean Paul reveals that there were separate knobs for the volume and the radio volume. Elaine also gets a severe case of writer's block when Peterman asks Elaine to come up with an idea for the Himalayan Walking Shoes. The previous night, Kramer runs the heat pump too hot and it blows out, reducing his body temperature in the process. The next day after George meets the baseball officials, he curses at them on the phone. Wilhelm once again thinks George is cracking under the pressure and reports it to Steinbrenner. Back at Elaine's, Jean Paul comments on what a "cute little bastard" her neighbor's baby is. Jean Paul gets kicked out of the building and has to go stay with Jerry. Jerry checks Jean Paul into a hotel and makes sure that the alarm clock situation is satisfactory. But after Jerry offends the wake-up guy, they bail on the hotel and go back to Jerry's apartment. Jerry tells Kramer to set his mental alarm for 6:30 AM. Elaine, meanwhile, becomes disillusioned with Jerry about the whole Jean Paul ordeal and takes a walk, when she finally overcomes her catalog writer's block and comes up with a great write-up for the Himalayan Walking Shoes. But then during the night, Kramer's heat pump blows out all the fuses in the building. Jerry realizes that they had overslept and he and Jean Paul rush out to get to the race in time. They succeed and Jean Paul is leading the race when they get to the finish line. But Kramer is so cold from having the heat pump blown out that he is drinking boiling hot cups of coffee. Jean Paul grabs Kramer's drink instead of one of the other drinks and burns himself. George meets with Steinbrenner, who educates him on the nerve-calming capabilities of the hot tub.
Episode 6
The Soup Nazi
Thu, Nov 2, 199523 mins
In this series-defining episode, everyone goes to this new soup stand because the soup is so great. Unfortunately, the owner is obsessed about his customer's ordering procedure. Jerry and his new girlfriend annoy everybody by using baby talk. George tries to do the same thing with Susan to show how annoying they are to everybody. Jerry and his girlfriend get rejected from the Soup Nazi's kitchen when they're caught kissing in line. Elaine buys an Armoire and asks Kramer to watch it. While watching it, Kramer is robbed by some gay, trash-talking street toughs who want nothing more than the Armoire. She then gets rejected from the soup kitchen when she offends the "Soup Nazi." Kramer, who befriends the Soup Nazi, gets a new Armoire exactly like the one that was stolen from him. He then gives it to Elaine, who discovers the Soup Nazi's recipes inside. Jerry pleads with her not to do anything, but Elaine threatens to put the Soup Nazi out of business.
Episode 7
The Secret Code
Thu, Nov 9, 199523 mins
George refuses to give anyone his secret code. Kramer buys a police scanner. Jerry does a series of ads for Leapin' Larry's Appliance Store. Elaine has dinner with J. Peterman but after she and Jerry bail on the dinner, George is stuck to dine with Peterman.
Episode 8
The Pool Guy
Thu, Nov 16, 199523 mins
Jerry has a hard time telling the pool guy at his new health club that there isn't room for a 5th member of the group. George's worlds collide when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan. Kramer discovers that his phone number is one digit off from that of a popular movie-finding service.
Episode 9
The Sponge
Thu, Dec 7, 199523 mins
Elaine's birth control method of choice is being discontinued and she goes all over New York to find the last remaining case. After she successfully finds it, she then begins the agonizing process of determining whether or not her dates are "sponge-worthy." Kramer participates in an AIDS walk but when he refuses to wear the ribbon, he suffers the consequences. Meanwhile, Jerry meets a woman and doesn't get her phone number. He then gets it from the list of participants in the AIDS walk. He tells George, who proceeds to tell Susan, who then starts a chain reaction of phone calls and ultimately winds up getting back to Jerry, who gets dumped as a result.
Episode 10
The Gum
Thu, Dec 14, 199523 mins
When Lloyd Braun comes back from the psychiatric hospital, Kramer takes him under his wing and convinces Jerry to buy gum from him and wear glasses that don't belong to him to prove that Lloyd isn't crazy. George tries to prove to his old neighbor Deena that he isn't crazy after a cashier short-changes him.
Episode 11
The Rye
Thu, Jan 4, 199623 mins
George is nervous about an upcoming dinner he and his parents are having with Susan and her parents--with good reason. They don't exactly hit it off, and Frank Costanza is so upset at the end that he takes back the loaf of rye bread they had brought as a gift. George is intent on returning it, leading Jerry to have an interesting encounter with an old woman who buys the last loaf of rye at the bakery. Elaine has a new musician boyfriend, but Jerry might ruin the relationship when he describes it as hot and heavy. Kramer uses a neighbor's hansom cab to give guided tours of New York City.
Episode 12
The Caddy
Thu, Jan 25, 199623 mins
Elaine's floozy former ex-roommate Sue Ellen Mischkie returns. George locks his keys in his car and leaves it in the Yankees parking lot. Elaine, out of spite, buys Sue Ellen a bra for a birthday gift as she has never worn one. George, having successfully convinced Wilhelm and Steinbrenner that he's putting in extra hours, decides to skip town with Susan after learning that her father rebuilt the cabin. So George asks Kramer and Jerry to go to Yankee Stadium and take the fliers off of his car. The car is really dirty, and Jerry and Kramer decide to go take it to the car wash. But along the way, they see Sue Ellen wearing the bra as a top. Jerry and Kramer get distracted and crash George's car. They return the damaged car back to Yankee Stadium. Steinbrenner, having seen the damage, and with George nowhere in sight, thinks George is dead. Kramer injures his arm in the accident, and his golf game is ruined. Elaine decides that Sue Ellen is a menace to society, and Kramer hires smooth-talking attorney Jackie Chiles to represent them. Unfortunately, the trial is jeopardized when Kramer asks Stan The Caddy for advice.
Episode 13
The Seven
Thu, Feb 1, 199623 mins
George meets Susan's cousins. The wife is expecting a baby and they are having a hard time agreeing on the name. George reveals that he wants to name his kid Seven after Mickey Mantle. The cousins like the idea of naming their kid Seven, but nobody else does. Elaine buys an antique bicycle and hurts her neck in the process. Kramer fixes her neck and wants the bicycle in exchange for payment. Jerry's new girlfriend wears the same dress every single day.
Episode 14
The Cadillac
Thu, Feb 8, 199644 mins
In this hour-long episode, Jerry performs the biggest show of his life in Atlantic City. He receives a rather generous pay check for the event, and decides to buy his father a Cadillac. Unfortunately, doing so puts Morty in the hot seat with the condo board of directors, where he serves as president.
Episode 15
The Shower Head
Thu, Feb 15, 199623 mins
Peterman wants Elaine to go to Africa, but when Elaine tests positive for Opium in her physical, that means no dice. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida so that he finally gets his "buffer zone," but they have problems with Jerry's parents.
Episode 16
The Doll
Thu, Feb 22, 199623 mins
George freaks out when he discovers that Susan has a doll that looks exactly like his mother. Jerry decides to use that as a bit on the Charles Grodin show when his prop gets destroyed in his carry-on luggage, but fellow comedian Sally Weaver screws up his bit by bringing him the wrong doll.
Episode 17
The Friars Club
Thu, Mar 7, 199623 mins
Jerry has a hard time getting membership in the Friar's Club when the Flying Sandos Brothers take his jacket during a show. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a new co-worker (Rob Schneider) is faking a hearing disorder to get out of doing work.
Episode 18
The Wig Master
Thu, Apr 4, 199623 mins
Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car.
Episode 19
The Calzone
Thu, Apr 25, 199623 mins
George gets Steinbrenner hooked on eggplant calzones from a local Italian restaurant. But George gets banned from the restaurant when he's accused of stealing from the tip jar. He then asks Kramer to pick up the calzones, but Kramer gets kicked out when he tries to pay with pennies.
Episode 20
The Bottle Deposit
Thu, May 2, 199642 mins
In this two-part episode, Kramer and Newman scheme to make money on recycling by taking a mail truck to Michigan full of bottles and cans. But their road trip takes a turn for the worst (literally) when Jerry's car is stolen by a psychotic auto mechanic and they track Jerry's car out in the Midwest. Elaine outbids Sue Ellen Mischkie by double her budget for JFK's golf clubs and leaves them in Jerry's car. George gets a project from his boss Wilhelm but doesn't hear the other end of what he's supposed to do. Steinbrenner sees the results of George's project and has him committed to a mental hospital.
Episode 21
The Wait Out
Thu, May 9, 199623 mins
After George suggests she could have done better, Beth decides to leave her husband, David. While George obsesses over whether he was the cause of the break-up, Elaine and Jerry swoop in, much to their delight, and offer the distraught couple a shoulder to cry on. When George tries to make amends, Elaine and Jerry want him to stop. It all gives George an idea on how to end his own relationship with Susan. Kramer, meanwhile, wears a pair of particularly tight blue jeans which he can't get off.
Episode 22
The Invitations
Thu, May 16, 199623 mins
It's finally time for George and Susan's wedding. George doesn't think he can go through with the wedding. But when Susan puts George in charge of the wedding invitations, George gets the cheapest ones in the lot, knowing that the glue for the envelopes is cheap.
