Join or Sign In
Sign in to customize your TV listings
By joining TV Guide, you agree to our Terms of Use and acknowledge the data practices in our Privacy Policy.
Seinfeld Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
21 Episodes 1993 - 1994
Episode 1
The Mango
Thu, Sep 16, 199323 mins
Jerry gets a shocking revelation when Elaine reveals that she faked every orgasm while they were dating. Jerry then pleads with Elaine to get a second chance in bed. Meanwhile, Kramer turns George onto the erotic pleasures of fruit, specifically the mango.
Episode 2
The Puffy Shirt
Thu, Sep 23, 199323 mins
Kramer's new girlfriend is what Jerry calls a low-talker, someone whose soft voice makes her unintelligible. She's a clothing designer and her latest idea is a puffy, pirate-like shirt. What Jerry doesn't realize is that he agreed to wear the puffy shirt on the Today Show. George has moved back in with his parents and his mother is driving him crazy about getting a job. A chance encounter leads him to become a hand model. Suddenly his hands are his main concern until he has an unfortunate encounter in Jerry's dressing room.
Episode 3
The Glasses
Thu, Sep 30, 199323 mins
George loses his glasses at the health club, but his plans to get a new pair using Kramer's "discount" backfires. Meanwhile, Jerry buys a black-market air conditioner - the Commando 8, and Elaine gets bit by a dog at the optometrist's office.
Episode 4
The Sniffing Accountant
Thu, Oct 7, 199323 mins
Jerry, Kramer and Newman have reason to suspect that their accountant, Barry Prophet, is taking their money and using it to buy illegal narcotics. The three organize a stakeout to confirm their suspicions, while Elaine, who had a past relationship with Barry, denies it. George gets an interview at a company that manufactures women's underwear.
Episode 5
The Bris
Thu, Oct 14, 199322 mins
Jerry and Elaine get asked to be the godparents of their friends' newborn baby; unfortunately, Elaine hires a drunken and touchy rabbi to perform the Bris. While at the hospital, Kramer thinks he found a pigman, and a mental patient jumps to his death and lands on George's car.
Episode 6
The Lip Reader
Thu, Oct 28, 199323 mins
Jerry dates an attractive tennis lineswoman only to discover that she is hearing-impaired but able to read lips. George gets caught acting like a slob on live television at the tennis match and gets dumped, so he tries to use the lip-reader to spy on his girlfriend to see if she's telling the truth. Kramer tries to prove that he can read lips as well as Jerry's girlfriend, while Elaine accidentally offends a limo driver and tries to make up for it, but the plans backfire.
Episode 7
The Non-Fat Yogurt
Thu, Nov 4, 199323 mins
Kramer invests in a new new non-fat yogurt store, which becomes a hit in the city. Jerry and Elaine discover that they've been gaining weight and wonder if the yogurt really is non-fat. Jerry tries to unravel this mystery while dealing with a neighbor's kid who saw his act during a rare instance of him unleashing profanities on-stage. Meanwhile, George runs into former childhood acquaintance Lloyd Braun, who is working on the mayoral campaign for incumbent Mayor Dinkins, but the campaign is quickly jeopardized when Elaine proposes a nametag system. The mayoral campaign is also jeopardized when Kramer dates one of the lab technicians and accidentally spills some of the yogurt into Giuliani's blood sample.
Episode 8
The Barber
Thu, Nov 11, 199323 mins
Jerry regrets sticking with his longtime barber after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. George gets a job interview but the boss leaves him with a very cryptic ending. Kramer begs Elaine to let him take part in her charity bachelor auction.
Episode 9
The Masseuse
Thu, Nov 18, 199323 mins
Jerry is desperate for his new girlfriend, a professional masseuse, to give him a massage but every hint or suggestion seems to fall on deaf ears. They go on a double date with George and his new girlfriend and it's obvious that Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, which drives George to extremes. Elaine is dating a man named Joel Rifkin - not the serial killer - but he seems oblivious to his name and how people react to it. Her attempts to get him to change his name aren't entirely successful.
Episode 10
The Cigar Store Indian
Thu, Dec 9, 199323 mins
Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a Native American statue for Elaine; Kramer tries to get Elaine's company to publish his coffee-table book; Elaine runs into a really creepy man on the subway who steals Frank's TV Guide and follows her to the Costanzas' house; George gets grounded when he has sex with a woman in his parents' bed.
Episode 11
The Conversion
Thu, Dec 16, 199323 mins
George decides to convert to Latvian Orthodox to impress a girl, against his angry parents' objections. Meanwhile, Kramer converts a nun at the church, and Jerry takes a peek in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and is stunned by what he finds.
Episode 12
The Stall
Thu, Jan 6, 199423 mins
At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she "can't spare a square." Elaine pleads with the woman, but she leaves, ignoring Elaine. The woman returns to her seat, and is revealed as Jerry's girlfriend, Jane. Elaine is shown returning to her seat, with her new boyfriend Tony (played by Dan Cortese). The two women tell their dates about what had just happened. At Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in, asking to use Jerry's phone. Jerry accuses Kramer of using it to call a telephone sex line. Elaine comes into the apartment, and describes to Jerry the incident that occurred at the movie theatre. Jerry realizes that the woman that Elaine was bickering for toilet paper was Jane. He tries to defend Jane, while not letting Elaine know that it was her. Meanwhile, George becomes enamored of Elaine's boyfriend, claiming that "He's such a cool guy." Jerry suspects that Elaine dates Tony only because he is attractive, and that Tony is a "male bimbo," or a "mimbo" for short. At the coffee shop, Tony, and George plan on going rock climbing together, which excites George, but Kramer is invited by Tony when he enters, and George starts fearing that Kramer will become better friends with Tony than him. Jerry and Kramer tease George about this later, claiming that George is in love with Tony, which George quickly denies. Jane calls Jerry's apartment, and Kramer answers the call without Jerry knowing. He talks to Jane, and after giving the phone to Jerry, he says that her voice sounded "flinty," and seems to try to remember where he's heard it before. Later, Elaine calls Jerry on his buzzer to tell him that she's coming up, while Jane is still there. Still trying to keep the two from conflicting, Jerry panics to disguise Jane's voice by saying that it smelt from the lunch they just had, and gave her many pieces of gum, muffling her voice to an unrecognizable level. On Tony, Kramer and George's rock climbing trip, Tony gives Kramer a rope to tie a knot to keep him from falling, but Kramer gives the rope to George, and then distracts him by asking him for food. Tony begins to climb again, but doesn't know that his harness isn't tied onto the wall, and he falls down the mountain. A few days later, Kramer and George tell Elaine what had happened. Upon hearing the news, Elaine quickly asks the two if there was any damage to his face, and is told that he hit his face off of a large rock. She rushes to Tony's house, to see that his face is completely bandaged. He tells her that he can't remember if the doctors said if there was any long-term damage to his face. At that time, George walks in to apologize to Tony about the trip, but Tony says that he doesn't want to see him anymore. While Jerry and Jane were at Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in and is introduced to Jane for the first time. He starts to act strangely at the sound of her voice, and quickly refuses to split a taxi to go uptown. When she leaves, Kramer claims that her voice closely resembles that of "Erika," one of the girls on the phone sex line that he has been frequently calling, but Jerry doesn't believe him. At the coffee shop, Kramer is sitting at a table by himself, saying to Jerry that he made a date with Erika, to prove that it is, in fact, Jane. When Jane arrives, Jerry is shocked. She moves to Jerry's table instead of Kramer's, but Kramer still persists on calling her "Erika," as he and Jerry confront her, claiming that she "sells sexual pleasure over the phone." She dispels the claims by saying she sells paper goods. Elaine hears Jane's voice, and realizes that she was the woman that refused to give her any spare toilet paper. Jane then says that she needs to use the washroom, and Elaine races her to the door. There is then a camera angle of the washroom stalls very similar to the one used at the beginning of the episode. Jane's voice is heard asking the woman in the stall next to hers, who she doesn't know, if they have any toilet paper, but is revealed to be Elaine, who tells Jane that she "can't spare a square." Jane then exclaims that it's the same woman from the movie theater, and then Elaine is shown running out of her stall, carrying many rolls of toilet paper. After exiting the restroom, Jane tells Jerry to never call her again, and then she turns to Kramer and says for him not to call her either, but using a "flinty" voice, the same one she uses while in her Erika persona. Jerry and Kramer then look at each other with their mouths opened, visibly stunned.
Episode 13
The Dinner Party
Thu, Feb 3, 199423 mins
En route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out.
Episode 14
The Marine Biologist
Thu, Feb 10, 199423 mins
When Jerry runs into his old college friend Diane, she asks how George is and what he's doing now. Not knowing what else to say, Jerry says George is a marine biologist - George had been talking about a science program on TV - and she takes a definite interest. They start seeing each other, but a walk on the beach proves fateful. Kramer has gotten himself a car trunk full of golf balls and decides to go to the beach to practice his golf. He also gives Elaine a electronic organizer. Elaine is thrilled at the prospect of meeting famed Russian author Testikov, but one of Jerry's practical jokes backfires.
Episode 15
The Pie
Thu, Feb 17, 199423 mins
Jerry is more than a little puzzled when his new girlfriend, Audrey, refuses to share a piece of apple pie with him. He's determined to find out why. When he goes to her favorite restaurant the chef, Poppie, promises them a special dinner. When Jerry sees that Poppie fails to wash his hands after going to the restroom, he faces his own dilemma. George comes across a new suit that he's told will go on sale in a few days. He goes out of his way to make sure it's still there when the sale starts. Elaine is taken aback when she sees a store mannequin that looks just like her. Kramer finds the perfect solution for a back itch.
Episode 16
The Stand-In
Thu, Feb 24, 199423 mins
Jerry visits a friend in hospital after he hears the guy needs cheering up. No matter how hard he tries though, Jerry can't get him to crack a smile. Elaine goes out on a date with someone Jerry recommends to her. On their first date he has a bit of a surprise for her. Kramer gets a job as a stand-in for an actor on a daytime soap opera and becomes friendly with another stand-in, Mickey, a 'little person.' One of Kramer's suggestions gets Mickey into a bit of trouble.
Episode 17
The Wife
Thu, Mar 17, 199423 mins
Jerry gets a permanent discount at his local dry cleaners after returning a locket he found in a jacket pocket. His new girlfriend Meryl also claims the discount claiming to be Jerry's wife. It all gets out of hand when Jerry's Uncle Leo hears he's married. Elaine thinks an airline pilot who goes to the same health club but her interest wanes quickly when he wipes the top of her water bottle before drinking from it. George is in trouble when the pilot sees him urinating in the shower at the same club. Kramer has had trouble sleeping at home but not, unfortunately at the tanning studio.
Episode 18
The Raincoats
Thu, Apr 28, 199443 mins
In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard time connecting with his new girlfriend Rachel because his parents are spending so much time in his apartment. George uses the trip to get out of volunteering for the Big Brother program, but is stunned to learn that his Little Brother is searching for his dad in France. Kramer and Morty team up to sell Morty's old beltless trenchcoat, "The Executive," to a vintage clothing store. Elaine's creepy new boyfriend is a "close talker" who enjoys spending time with Jerry's parents.
Episode 19
The Fire
Thu, May 5, 199423 mins
George dates a woman who has a son, and she invites him to the boy's birthday party. At the party, a fire breaks out in the kitchen and George screams "FIRE!" and knocks down the kids and an old lady as he makes his cowardly escape. The clown (not Bozo) puts out the fire with his big shoe. Meanwhile, at Pendant Publishing, Elaine learns that she's up for a very nice promotion; her main competition, Toby, is working with Kramer on his coffee-table book. The three head over to the comedy club where Jerry is doing an important set where a writer from Entertainment Weekly will be present to do a review of the show for the magazine. Toby heckles Jerry. After Jerry gets the magazine and sees the mostly-negative review of his show, he decides to do something unheard-of: heckle the heckler. He goes to Toby's office, where his heckling so upsets her that she rushes out of the building, and a street-sweeper severs her pinkie toe. Kramer gets the toe and hijacks a bus to take it to the hospital where it is reattached to Toby's foot. Shocked at the incident, Mr. Lippman decides to promote Toby over Elaine for the senior-editor's job. Toby's first order of business is to get Kramer's coffee-table book in stores ASAP. The next day, Jerry goes to the comedy club to plead with the Entertainment Weekly reviewer for a second chance; he gets one and runs into prop comic Ronnie Kaye, who tells Jerry that what he did is unprecedented. Jerry agrees and says that it's finally time they drew a line in the sand. During the show, George stops by the comedy club and sees Ronnie holding what looks like a firearm. Thinking that Ronnie's robbing the place, George screams and tries another cowardly escape that knocks everybody down. This interrupts Jerry's set and he's furious with George.
Episode 20
The Hamptons
Thu, May 12, 199423 mins
Elaine, Jerry, George and Kramer visit friends in the Hamptons who've just had a baby. They're there for the weekend and George's new girlfriend Jane is there with him, even though they've never slept together. Jerry 's old girlfriend Rachel is there as well but trouble erupts when Rachel sees George naked and then giggles. Elaine takes an interest in the baby's pediatrician but isn't sure the compliment he paid her is necessarily a compliment. Kramer gets lobsters from a trap in the ocean not realizing that they belong to a professional fisherman.
Episode 21
The Opposite
Thu, May 19, 199423 mins
A simple pick up line in the coffee shop proves Jerry's theory that every instinct George has is wrong. George decides to try the opposite, and that lands him an attractive girlfriend, a job offer with the New York Yankees, and an apartment that allows him to finally move out of his parent's house. Simultaneously, Elaine's mistake of stopping off for candy after learning her boyfriend was hospitalized causes her fortune to take a downturn. She gets kicked out of her apartment, breaks up with her boyfriend, and the candy causes a chain reaction that ultimately leads to the end of her longtime employer. Jerry sees the parallel between his two friends and realizes that he breaks even on just about everything. Kramer continues to take the book tour for his coffee table book, but Pendant Publishing's bankruptcy puts the book on the shelf.
