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Father Ted Season 2 Episodes
Season 2 Episode Guide
11 Episodes 1996 - 1996
Episode 1
Hell
24 mins
The priests go on holiday to a caravan park where they are joined by the exceedingly annoying and terribly jolly Father Noel Furlong, who wants them to join in a sing-song with his bored youth group. Throughout the stay Ted keeps accidentally barging in on a young couple in their intimate moments, and, when he and Dougal decide to leave the site the husband, wearing only a towel which blows away, jumps on their bonnet and eventually slashes their tyres. They are forced to hitch back home but manage to flag down the slurry lorry - with very messy results.
Episode 2
Think Fast, Father Ted
24 mins
To raise money to mend the leaking roof Ted gets the bishop's permission to hold a raffle with a car as its star prize but he accidentally destroys the car. Aware that another priest has an identical car Ted borrows it and rigs the raffle for Dougal to win so that it can be returned to the owner. When Ted learns that the priest has died the pressure seems to be off but he has reckoned without the raffle's MC Father O'Dwyer, who is a gambling addict and buys 200 raffle tickets, and Father Jack, who steals the car to buy drink and writes it off.
Episode 3
Tentacles of Doom
25 mins
Three bishops arrive on the island to upgrade a holy relic and Ted is teaching Jack to cut out his swearing and converse with the trio properly. The ceremony goes extremely well, as does the episcopal visit - initially. Unfortunately the oldest visitor, who has a heart complaint, dies as a result of the house's faulty plumbing, another gets into a fight with Jack and the third, having been impressed by Dougal's bizarre ramblings, decides to quit the church and become a hippie in India.
Episode 4
Old Grey Whistle Theft
24 mins
The priests go to a picnic site, where Ted falls foul of the zealous attendant Benson and Dougal is influenced by recalcitrant young priest Father Damo Lennon, who encourages him to pierce his ear and smoke dope. When Benson's whistle is stolen a priest is identified as having been the thief and Ted's lecture to Dougal on doing the right thing leads to his arrest before Damo is finally exposed as the thief.
Episode 5
A Song for Europe
24 mins
Along with his rival Father Dick Byrne Ted is encouraged to write a song to represent Ireland at the Eurovision Song Contest and comes up with the dreadful 'My Lovely Horse' but when it is derided he plans to substitute his version of an obscure Norwegian song whose writers are dead. Unfortunately the song proves to anything but obscure and very well-known so in desperation he reverts to 'My Lovely Horse'. Up against Dick Byrne's superior offering Ted's song is chosen, solely because the organizers want to lose to avoid staging the next year's costly show. At the song contest it gets 'Nil points' all round.
Episode 6
The Plague
24 mins
Hearing that Bishop Brennan is coming to stay Ted's first thought is to make sure that, following an incident on the bishop's last visit, Father Jack will be prevented from sleep-walking in the nude. However worse is to come as the island has suddenly become infested by a plague of rabbits and Brennan has a phobia about the creatures following a traumatic experience in a lift. Ted and Dougal work hard to ensure that the bishop does not see any of the rabbits. Sadly they fail.
Episode 7
Rock a Hula Ted
24 mins
Whilst Ted is judging the local Lovely Girls Festival beauty contest Niamh Connolly, a feminist singer and strong critic of the Catholic church, turns up at the house and a confused Dougal signs it over to her. An appalled Ted tries to get in with Niamh by claiming to be a fan but she eventually gives him back his house - at a cost. Rather than dine at a restaurant with the Lovely Girls winner Imelda at her expense as is the norm Ted must do the housework with Dougal whilst Niamh takes Imelda and the over-worked Mrs Doyle out for dinner instead.
Episode 8
Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading
24 mins
Ted strikes a bargain with Dick Byrne. He and Jack and Dougal will give up their respective vices of smoking, drinking and roller-blading for Lent if Dick and the other two priests on Rugged Island will do the same. With Mrs Doyle away on a pilgrimage the formidable Sister Assumptua comes to the house and treats the priests to a sadistic regime of penances, causing them to flee to Rugged Island where they find the priests have broken their promises. Back on Craggy Island they discover the sister gorging herself on chocolate and agree to keep quiet about it provided she moves to Rugged Island to put the trio there through the same rigours as she did them.
Episode 9
New Jack City
23 mins
When Jack is discovered to have hairy hands disease he is sent to the local hospital for old priests to recover and replaced by the obnoxious Father Fintan Slack, who goes out of his way to torment Ted and Dougal as well as playing loud jungle music all night. In desperation Ted and Dougal spring Jack from the hospital but find that Slack has also caught the hairy hands disease from sitting in Jack's chair and has to go for treatment, thus freeing them from him.
Episode 10
Flight into Terror
24 mins
The priests are in a group flying home from a pilgrimage when it is discovered that the plane is about to crash - possibly connected to a visit Dougal made to the cockpit - and there are only two parachutes on board. Whilst everybody else is arguing as to why they should have a parachute Jack leaps out of the plane with one chute for himself and the other for the drinks trolley. There is however one way to avert the crash and it is down to Ted, using one of the cheap souvenirs he bought at the pilgrimage, to put it into action and save the plane.
Episode 11
A Christmassy Ted
55 mins
In this Christmas special from 1996, Ted manages to avert a major catastrophe when he, Dougal and a group of other priests become lost in the lingerie section of a clothes store. Managing to get them out of the store and averting another scandal in the catholic church. Ted is awarded a Golden Cleric. Ted is undoubtedly pleased but things take an unexpected turn when a priest called Father Todd Unctious turns up who claims to be an old friend of Teds. Although Ted can't for the life of him remember who he is.
