If you're reading this, you're here for one reason and one reason only: You want to know when exactly you can see Chris Pine's penis in the new Netflix movie Outlaw King. You know it. I know it. We all know it. We all have the same perverted agenda here, so let's not be shy or pretend for a second we're actually interested in the events of the film, which stars Pine as Scotland's national hero Robert the Bruce and tells the story of how the nobleman became an outlaw hero during the occupation of medieval Scotland.
You don't care that although the David Mackenzie-directed film is still too long, the film is also rather beautiful — it's probably hard to make Scotland look bad, though. You also don't care there are some pretty spectacularly bad haircuts and a lot of mud. And you definitely don't care that Pine is actually sort of pulling off the accent! You only care about Chris Pine's penis (pine-is?), and that's OK. This is a judgment-free zone. And it's why I'm here to tell you exactly how far you need to fast-forward into the film, which hit Netflix on Friday, to see the dude's junk.
Are you ready?
Here it is.
You can see Chris Pine's penis at exactly 1:27:54. It's visible when he rises out of a body of water, and although it's not onscreen for too long — just about a second (or longer depending how long you pause) — it's still long enough that this is the only thing anyone's been able to talk about since the film premiered at TIFF in September. Be honest, would you have known that Chris Pine starred in a Netflix movie titled Outlaw King if he hadn't bared it all? Pine is either very dedicated to his craft or he's excellent at marketing. Maybe he's both.
Anyway, now you know how to peep Chris Pine's wang. What you do with this information is up to you. My job here is done.
Outlaw King is now streaming on Netflix.