Ali Fedotowsky, Danielle Staub Ali Fedotowsky, Danielle Staub

Oh, it was on last night in reality land! And by "reality," of course we mean the staged and highly orchestrated "unscripted" TV offerings of the evening, but still. That doesn't make the smackdowns any less awesome to witness, right?

First up was The Bachelorette's Ali unleashing her inner angry-girl on Justin the "entertainment wrestler" for having a little somethin' somethin' tucked away back home in Canada. Dropping the f-bomb and calling Mr. Rated-R a coward, our hair-extensioned heroine showed that she's not to be kidding around about her search for a fiancé (until the inevitable Us Weekly breakup). Making this drama even tastier was that Justin, dim to the nth degree, couldn't even muster a decent explanation for his girlfriend except that "she's like a best friend, really." Poor dumb dude. Now all he has going for his tired self is that d-bag soul-patch and an invite to the hot seat on the After the Final Rose special. Enjoy that, ya icky idiot.

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Not to be out-awfuled, The Real Housewives of New Jersey's StaubGoblin dragged her rickety limb-sack out of her swampy bog cave for round two with table-flipping Teresa. And while no china went flying, the insults did once the two messes collided at some tranny-hobo fashion show, giving T-Bomb a chance to throw down a hilarious "old hag" and "bitch" double-diss before...well, something ugly happened. Uglier than Jacqueline's fur shrug, even.  But it's a big ol' "to be continued" that picks up on July 12th, so we'll have to wait to see how this all plays out. Here's hoping along the way those Kim hags get caught in the middle of the melee and learn a lesson in messin' with Team Manzo!

What did you think of Monday night's messes?

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