It's been a long six months, but the wait is over: The Walking Dead's Season 7 premiere is here, and we finally know who Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) killed with his barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat, Lucille.
When we last left Negan's victims in the April 3 airing of the Season 6 finale, appropriately titled "Last Day on Earth," 11 cast members were lined up in a clearing in the forest. Negan — whose group The Saviors had clashed with Rick Grimes' (Andrew Lincoln) group on multiple occasions — explained the new way of the world to them. He was going to kill one of them to make them understand he meant business. And then they would give him half of everything they own, and The Saviors would be on their merry way.
Simple enough, right? Except for the pesky matter of someone getting their brains bashed in by a baseball bat. Negan warned the survivors that they could scream and cry, but if anyone tried to stop him, he'd feed Carl's (Chandler Riggs) eyeball to his father, Rick.
And after a terrifying game of Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe, Negan turned to the victim, and --as we watched from their POV — hit them until they died.
Seriously, you sure you want to know? Because massive, humungous spoilers past this point.
Okay, fine, here goes. Negan killed:
Abraham (Michael Cudlitz). The former army-man was a surprising choice for Negan's victim — and not just because Cudlitz has given multiple interviews about where his character was headed this season. More to the point, he'd already outlived his death scene in the comics (that spot was taken by Merritt Wever's Denise, when she got an arrow through the eye).
Still, Abraham was defiant until the end; and his death provides huge complications for multiple other characters in the line-up. Eugene (Josh McDermitt) had just come to an understanding with Abraham, after the latter discovered he was not a scientist trying to cure the zombie plague, but just a regular old sort of smart doofus. Abraham had broken up with Rosita (Christian Serratos) after figuring out that she wasn't actually the last woman on Earth. And Sasha (Sonequa Martin-Green) and Abraham had started to strike up an awkward romance.
All three of those folks (not to mention everyone else) will find it hard to go forward without the swearing, mustachioed Abraham; but we'll miss the mother-d--- most of all.
But — and hold on to your baseball cap here — Abraham isn't the only person Negan killed. He also took out...
Glenn Rhee (Steven Yeun), the former pizza boy that most fans had marked for death anyway. That's because how Glenn died was pretty much presaged by how he died in the comics... Back in 2012, show creator Robert Kirkman had Glenn kick the bucket by getting beaten to death by Negan's bat. And since then, the show has been teasing fans with the idea.
First in the Season 5 premiere, when one of the Terminus cannibals (note for those who missed it, they went to a place called Terminus that was full of cannibals) almost hit Glenn with a bat — and in fact killed Gotham's Robin Lord Taylor with the same bat, which is funny, because now he's The Penguin and he hates bat-man.
Then last season, Glenn seemingly died after falling in a herd of walkers... But that turned out to be a fake-out, too. The walkers were actually ripping apart Nicholas (Michael Traynor), who was lying on top of Glenn. Glenn, meanwhile, shimmied under a dumpster and got away.
Not this time. The soulful, earnest Glenn has ended his life as a smear in the forest, courtesy of Negan. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for Daryl (Norman Reedus) stepping up and challenging Negan after Abraham's death.
Excuse us while we deal with our emotions for a moment:
Okay, we're back. That's, of course, not all that Negan has in store for the Grimes Gang. Bad things are coming, and they're only going to get worse before they get better. But for better or worse, Rick's band of post-apocalyptic survivors is going to be a bit smaller as those very bad things go down.
The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9/8c on AMC.