This week television was all about love and violence. Desmond hinted that love may be the secret at the, ahem, heart of Lost. The American Idol judges showed Big Mike some love. A Criminal Minds pair met cute amidst gunfire. Chuck showed Sarah his love...with a bullet. (Oh, and Bones and Booth kissed!) Welcome to Top Moments: Kissing and Killing Edition.
10. Best Abbreviation: Breaking Bad has the best episode titles on TV. (Last season, for example, the names of several episodes linked to describe the tragedy that occurred in the season finale.) The significance of this week's title, "I.F.T.," only became apparent when Skyler whispered it to husband Walt to punish him for refusing to move out. So what does I.F.T. stand for? The I is for I and the T is another man's name. You can probably guess what the F is for.
9. Best Double-Cross: Just when it seems that FlashForward's Mosaic investigation is over and the mole has been found (and captured), Janis breaks our hearts and reveals to Simon that she, too, is a turncoat. It's a shock, especially considering she took a bullet for the team a few months prior. How hard is it going to be for her to juggle being an expectant mother with being a double agent?
8. Most Contrived Shot: We thought Criminal Minds' Emily Prentiss (Paget Brewster) was too smart to lean over the edge of a building, to check on a suspect who's just jumped, without having her gun ready. But that's just what she does on Wednesday's spin-off episode, only to discover him alive on a ledge a few feet below. Thank goodness for overly flirtatious newbie sniper Mick (Matt Ryan), who's there to pick off the bad guy — and in so doing initiate the most violent meet-cute ever.
7. Best Handwriting: On Lost, Charlie shows Desmond the path between the show's two timelines... by driving his car off the road and into the harbor. It seems that near-death experiences provide glimpses to the other side, hence Des' shock to see NOT PENNY'S BOAT written on Charlie's hand underwater.
6. Best Impersonation: Jimmy Fallon dons a sparkly red blazer and tousled blond hair to do Kate Gosselin even better than she does herself. The Late Night host all too accurately re-enacts her lifeless performances on Dancing with the Stars — and he doesn't even have to emasculate Tony Dovolani to do it.
5. Worst Surprise: Charismatic new dad Michael Lynche is eliminated on American Idol — what's going on, America? Fortunately, the judges come to the rescue, utilizing their one save to give him another week to woo us with his signature R&B stylings.
4. Best Near-Upset: Down by two and out of time in the NCAA men's basketball championship, Butler's Gordon Hayward makes a desperate half-court shot that looks destined to become the most celebrated 3-pointer in college basketball history. It hits the backboard, dings the rim — and bounces out, giving Duke another championship. It's a crushing way to lose for Butler, a school of only about 4,000 that plays, famously, in the gym where Hoosiers was filmed. But it's hard after a game like this one to call anyone a loser.
3. Best Subtlety: Aw, those Suarezes are so darn supportive. On Ugly Betty, to show Justin just how much they love him, they plan him a surprise coming-out party. Fortunately, Marc intervenes, assuring the family that Justin will tell everyone he's gay when he's ready. He ultimately does it at his mother's wedding, by simply asking his boyfriend to dance.
2. Best Flip-Flop: On Chuck, the titular hero saves Sarah from Shaw's perverse Parisian revenge plan when he shoots him dead — making his first kill. As Shaw's body falls into the Seine, we see Chuck's apprehension at becoming a killer all over his scrunchy face.
1. Best Won't-They: When Sweets pushes Bones and Booth to define their relationship, Booth makes a crushing declaration: He's done with the prickly forensic anthropologist and thinks it's time to find "someone who will love me." It's an especially sad moment for its proximity, albeit in flashback, to the pair's first kiss.