The Ultimatum's Madlyn on What the Netflix Series Didn't Show About Her Relationships With Colby and Randall

[Warning: The following contains spoilers for the finale and reunion episodes of The Ultimatum.]

For a few days now, Netflix's The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On has been the platform's most popular show. The reality dating series has all the ingredients of an addictive binge-watch: drama, suspense, and utter chaos — for which we blame the show's wild premise. 

Here's a brief overview: Across six couples, one person has issued an ultimatum. They want their partner to commit to marrying them, or they are ready to break up and look for someone else who will. The show includes a three-week "trial marriage" in which everyone pairs up — and moves in — with a stranger from a different couple. This is done, the show says, to help the participants get clarity about their relationships. After the trial marriage with the stranger, they move in with their original partner for a second trial marriage. At the end of the eight-week experience, each person decides if they want to get married to their original partner, break up and leave the show alone, or break up and leave the show with someone they met on The Ultimatum.

Madlyn Ballatori, who received an ultimatum from boyfriend Colby Kissinger, is one of the people who left the show with their original partner. Not only did she and Colby get engaged in the finale, but the pair got married minutes after the proposal. They shared another surprise at the reunion — Madlyn is seven months pregnant, with what host Vanessa Lachey called "our first Ultimatum baby." Throughout the season, Madlyn — who paired up with Randall Griffin in the partner swap — was often seen questioning her relationship with Colby. In the episode before the finale, the two had a major argument that ended with Madlyn leaving the dinner table. They were talking about how Colby hooked up with someone outside the show, which he said he did for Madlyn. "I can't marry a man that can't accept responsibility for his actions," Madlyn said.

TV Guide spoke to Madlyn about the argument that night and its aftermath, the parts of her relationships with both Colby and Randall that were not shown to viewers, and whether she would recommend that other couples go on The Ultimatum.

What has it been like watching the show back? 
Madlyn: I'm going through it. A little embarrassing, exciting, funny. It's a whole lot of emotions right now for sure. 

What parts made you feel embarrassed or excited? 
Madlyn: Gosh, all things. Girls' night is, I mean, terrifying. I can't even blame it on the edit, which sucks. And then it's hard to watch myself talk with Colby, and I know how much I'm holding back, but nobody else can see that. It's hard to know everything that I was feeling, all the struggles. I wish that those things could be seen by the viewers somehow, but they couldn't because I kept them in.

Can you share more about how you were holding back? 
Madlyn: I think that my biggest struggle — I feel like to me, it's pretty clear throughout the show — is just my lack of ability to communicate how I feel for Colby. I want to act like I'm not completely in love with him, act like I'm not scared to lose him. I want to act like I just want to have fun. But there is so much feeling and fear, and there's a lot that I think was suppressed.

We saw that you were pregnant at the reunion. When was that filmed and how is the baby?
Madlyn: That was filmed in February. I am three weeks out to deliver — I am huge right now. The reunion was awesome. I think that they took it really easy on me being pregnant. They were just sweet and it was mostly very positive, which was great. 

In your last dinner together, you and Colby talked about the relationship he had outside of the show. Colby says on the day of proposal that he spoke to you after the dinner and owned up to what he did. What was that conversation like?
Madlyn: It was the details of the relationship and all that. It was all just mess; that wasn't really what mattered to me. All I needed from Colby was, to be honest, to be [like], "hey, what I did was wrong." I just need accountability in somebody. Out of a partner, I need someone who's not gonna say, "I messed up, it's your fault," but "hey, this is what I did wrong. And this is how I want to move forward." I just needed to know that this is someone that, if mistakes are made in the future, we can fix them. They're not going to be put back on me. We spent hours talking that through and him just kind of owning it up. I think it had to be done off-camera personally with me, it needed that one-on-one time and thought put into it.

Colby has such charm and he's just like this golden boy. People love him when they meet him. I feel like they let him get away with so much. There's so many little things throughout our relationship that I feel like he'll mess up and just wants to continue instead of being like, "hey, crap, I hurt you, and this is how I want to make it better and make you feel like I understand what I did."

How has that been in your marriage?
Madlyn: So much better. The way that we communicate has completely transformed because I think our security's different. We know that we're fighting for each other — not just for each other now, but for our family. We sit down and we think about things and we don't have our pride to defend in front of a camera. We just have each other and the growth that we want. Gosh, there's been so much improvement.

On the final day, Colby says, "In the last 24 hours, Madlyn has changed her stance. Multiple times." Can you describe what those 24 hours before the proposal were like for you?
Madlyn: They were really rough. I had to really dig deep, do some introspective searching. I actually wrote out a pros and cons list to help me make that final decision of, can I walk away from this? Are these things that I really think that I can feel and find in another person? Or is this my person, and can I give myself over to him? I was like, crying on the phone to my mom. I was like, I think I'm going without him. And then I call her back and I was like, no, I think I'm gonna do it. It was craziness, absolute chaos.

What were some of those things on the pros and cons list?
Madlyn: For Colby, I think what sets him apart has just been his intention since day one and the way that he is so open and able to share his feelings with me and make sure that I feel special. That is huge. I never have to wonder whether I'm what Colby wants, whether I am his partner, whether I'm his priority. It is an incredible feeling to have that in somebody. Watching the show back, it just shows me how much that's something that I needed to work on and give back to him.

In the show, you also built a relationship with Randall — one of the stronger relationships of the newly formed couples. Were there days throughout the eight weeks when you thought you would be choosing him in the end?
Madlyn: There's so much of both of the relationships that just aren't shown; there's not time to put everything in there. With me and Randall, I feel like there was an understanding that we appreciated the hell out of each other and wanted to get the most that we could in our time, but we wanted to better ourselves for our partners. That was very understood. And I think the biggest thing which I said and that wasn't shown was how much like, yes, Randall was everything that I had been asking Colby for —  I said he checked all my boxes, my perfect man on paper — but I still felt something missing. That was the key that wasn't shared. It's that I was missing something that I had in Colby.

What was the missing thing?
Madlyn: I dated guys like Randall before, and to me it's like, we get along so well because we really understand each other. I don't feel as challenged, I feel really validated in all of our discussions, so it's easy. And with Colby, I don't get that. And I think what I love is that despite the challenges, we still want — it's not easy — we still want each other so bad. We still want to stick together and work through those challenges and push each other to grow. It keeps it exciting and you feel like you're constantly transforming. And I think that's what makes it [a] forever kind of thing.

What was something in your relationship with Colby that you wish viewers saw more of?
Madlyn: Our resolve to the arguments that we have, instead of just those bickering little bits. 

What about something in your relationship with Randall that you wish viewers saw more of?
Madlyn: You know, I wasn't constantly begging him for the physical aspect. We had so many good discussions just understanding each other that I feel like really shows a different side to both me and Randall of kind of, we're not just lazy and not trying to have love with these people. There really were things missing that we felt we weren't getting, that we felt like we needed some more growth and more time to produce before committing forever.

Have you and Randall talked since filming ended?
Madlyn: There's a group text that we all kind of chime in on. We said hello at the reunion. There's a bond and a respect there, but there's an even deeper respect for the relationships that we're in now. This is a weird scenario, right? [laughs] As much as there's a bond there, there just has to be distance and respect more than anything.

In your last dinner, you asked Colby if he had any regrets about the experience. Do you have any?
Madlyn: I wish I'd been able to handle certain situations better. I wouldn't necessarily say regrets, but I wish I just would have had a little bit more strength to be a little smarter in my conversations, a little more mindful of other people, to sit back and process my feelings instead of just blurting off whatever I thought sounded more entertaining or fun. I wish I'd been maybe more true to how I was feeling instead of trying to cover it up with fun.

In what ways do you think going on The Ultimatum helped your relationship with Colby, if at all?
Madlyn: I want to be like, no, it's horrible, don't do it. But it really did completely push [me]. I guess I'm more stubborn than I realized; I really needed everything to be taken completely to the line and challenged to that extreme to look inward.

After having gone through the experience of the show, would you recommend it to other couples?
Madlyn: This is the hardest question to me because I know how taxing it was. Every day, it was exhausting, it was hard. And I don't think everybody can do it. But I will say despite the outcome for all the couples that were in it, whether they ended up together or not, there was so much growth. Yeah, I hate to say that it's worth it.

The Ultimatum is available to stream.