The Masked Singer is, by design, an escape from the disheartening ways of the world, and obviously its stunning costumes are the gateway to this wonderful demented paradise. As the show's costume director Marina Toybina told TV Guide earlier this year, Season 4 costumes raise the already high bar for extraordinary works of wearable art even higher, and with the Season 4 premiere just days away, Fox is slowly releasing images of the creations we'll see this season.
But as gorgeous as these creations are, they can also be freakish enough to make you wet your pants if you stare hard enough. Seasons 1- 3 had plenty of beautiful but shudder-inducing characters, from Night Angel to Raven to that Rabbit, that looked like something out of Donnie Darko. Of course, since we haven't heard any of them sing one note or share one clue about their identity, it's too soon to speculate on who's inside these monstrous masterpieces, but we can rank them from most inviting to most NOPE. Here's that ranking so far.
You already know what time it is with the homie Broccoli. Look at those eyes! They're low, and purple, and broccoli is green. Shucks, in some circles, broccoli is synonymous with...something else entirely. The only thing scary about Broccoli is what happens when you leave him around your stash of snacks.
This character might share a name with the iconic Gremlins of the terrifying '80s movie but this creature looks more cuddly than creepy.
Aw, Giraffe. This anthropomorphized dandy looks mad cool, like someone who says things like "Indubitably!" and definitely has an extra handkerchief you can use and keep if they see you sneeze. Giraffe is done up like Oscar Wilde, excited to tear into some crumpets and tea. Not scary at all.
Um, Lips is fabulous. Lips likes to make an entrance and knows where the good brunch spots are. Lips is a lot of fun.
Not gonna lie, Crocodile has a slightly scary vibe, what with that ominous look in its eyes and the open mouth full of sharp teeth. Knowing that real-world crocs are out here climbing fences (ok, fine, that's an alligator but, if it was chasing you would you care about the distinction?!) seeing this croc adoptig human ways is a little too close for comfort.
Beyoncé, is that you? Not inside The Sun costume, but literally the costume itself, able to defy the laws of physics as only Queen Bey can by turning into the sun and then rotating her face upside down? This one's slightly unsettling because of the whole "I can't feel my face" thing going on here, but it's so interesting and pretty you have to marvel at it.
Dragon looks a little intimidating but with the beautiful turquoise skull and that majestic samurai-inspired garb, Dragon is more regal than scary —although you obviously don't want to smell that breath in the morning.
This is Popcorn. Now, I know you're thinking Popcorn looks cute and buttery -- sorry, bubbly -- with that anime-inspired look on her face and that fetching bustier peplum ensemble she's rocking that screams county fair Americana. But popcorn can be dangerous. Getting a piece of popcorn stuck in the gums is a fate even a witch wouldn't wish on their worst enemy, and at least one guy had to have open heart surgery because of what? Popcorn. She looks fun but don't be fooled, Popcorn is a cold murderer.
Listen, the way 2020 has been set up, none of us would be surprised to see aliens doing some Black Friday shopping down at the mall (assuming it reopens); according to the government, they're already using our skies as a freeway. That's why Baby Alien is so freaky. It's not cute: it's a glimpse at our new rulers.
Yeah, it's the colors for me, dog. Seahorse has skin like a lobster, those creepy eyes, and a sexy body. What radioactive river did it crawl out of?! Nope.
Mushroom looks exactly what you'd see if you wandered into the woods under the influence of a magic mushroom and were greeted by some creature attempting to make you connect with the deeper, unexplored parts of yourself. It's got a tinge of a Japanese horror vibe to it, and looks like just being near it will mess your head up good. No thanks!
I swear this image just moved on my screen. That's how horrifying Jellyfish looks and yet, this costume is so cool it could be masking a sweet demeanor underneath, kind of like how Lady Gaga will dress like she rose from the dead, but then will duet with Tony Bennett. Jellyfish is scary, but not bone-chilling.
The Serpent doesn't look like the kind of serpent that wants to just hang out and chill. And then it has extra serpent arms coming out of it. Excuse me -- gonna go change my pants real quick.
The Whatchamacallit looks like the last thing you see before ascending on to heaven. Terrifying.
Noooope. No. NOPE. The Snow Owls are, first of all, conjoined twins (are there really two people in that thing?) and we all know from horror movies that twins are creepy AF. This costume is giving Stevie Nicks album cover vibes while also evoking every shifty owl in every spooky movie ever. I mean, have you ever seen a character alone in the woods at night hear an owl and be like, "Oh that's a comforting sound?" No, you haven't. And here are TWO of them. Conjoined. I repeat: Nope.
Oh my god. The Squiggly Monster looks like every bug or spider you ever squished assembled into one form and came back to make sure you never know peace.
The Masked Singer returns Wednesday, September 23 at 8/7c.