I like that The Bachelorette is back-to-back this week so that we don't have to wait too long for the resolution of the Kenny vs. Lee cliff-hanger, which will inevitably disappoint. The only satisfying outcome would be Kenny suplexing Lee into seeing the error of his ways, and since there's no way that's going to happen, we may as well get the end of the story over with quickly. It's been drawn out long enough. The sooner Rachel flies off in a helicopter and abandons Lee on the edge of a fjord, the better.
Because Lee is just no fun, man. I don't love to hate him. I just hate him. He's racist, he's cruel, he's a liar, he's not funny and his hair is dumb. Get him out of here and don't put him on TV anymore.
The cocktail party that opened the episode got tense. Kenny was trying very hard to stay calm when talking to Lee, but Lee's condescendence got to him. He didn't raise his voice, but he did threaten to s--- in Lee's cowboy boots. Kenny got to Lee a little bit, too, when Kenny congratulated Bryan (who got two roses this week, shout out to him) for earning the group date rose without being a snake. Lee didn't appreciate being unsubtly subbed.
Will gave Lee the biggest benefit of the doubt anyone has ever received when he said that maybe Lee doesn't understand that calling Kenny "aggressive" has racist undertones. Will tried to explain that black men's "aggression" has been used to justify all kinds of horrible stuff throughout American history, and that's what Kenny was reacting to. What Lee took from that was that Kenny "played the race card" to skirt responsibility for his own actions, which Lee does not respect.
"It's probably a lot due to just ignorance on his part on how certain words can really trigger people," Will said. "Hopefully he gets it." Oh, he gets it. Lee's the kind of guy who gets off on triggering people. He used to log on to Twitter and try to trigger libs by saying things like "Black Lives Matter is a terrorist organization." Lee is trash.
Rachel had an uncomfortable 1-on-1 date with Jack Stone, who at first seemed alright but as the date went on started seeming weirder and weirder. His big white smile never wavered. There was a moment in an interview where the camera lingered too long and he started to look like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Rachel was so obviously not into him and wanted the date to be over that when he said that the first thing he'd do on their ideal date was take her home and lock the door, you could see her pull her skin a little tighter so that he wouldn't make a suit out of it. He did not get a rose.
Then Iggy and Tickle Monster didn't get roses during the rose ceremony. I would be lying if I said they'll be missed.
Then it was off to Oslo, Norway. I wonder if Rachel was excited to go back to Scandinavia so quickly after getting dumped by Nick in Finland. But I digress. Bryan got Oslo's first 1-on-1 date, and he crushed it. Rachel is so into him that she was trying to impress him and open up to him. That only happens with serious contenders. Rachel's a little apprehensive about him possibly being too good to be true. If he's 37 and such a catch, why is he still single? What lurks beneath his smooth exterior?
The group date was a game of handball, which looks like a cross between basketball and soccer and was an opportunity for the guys to show off their bodies in tiny singlets. Peter was the star of the cocktail party. He and Rachel got into a hot tub and made out while the other guys waited in the other room. I was like "daaaaaamn." Peter didn't get the group date rose, though, which must have made him go "damn." Will got it instead due to his athletic prowess.
One reason why this season has been interesting is that it isn't obvious who Rachel is going to pick. This is a change from at least the past three seasons, and a huge change from last year's Bachelorette, when it was clear Jordan Rodgers was going to win from the moment he stepped out of the limo. This year it could either be Peter or Bryan. After this week I'm leaning toward Bryan, with Peter becoming the next Bachelor, but Peter could put in a strong showing in the future and pull ahead in the rankings.
Then it was time for Kenny and Lee's 2-on-1. Kenny called Lee a snake in this episode more than Kim Kardashian fans commented snake emojis on Taylor Swift's Instagram. There were even shots of a slithering snake in the grass. They went up in a helicopter, and it should have been fun, but Rachel kept having to talk to them individually to get each of their side of the story. Kenny was very sincere, and when Rachel told him that Lee told her that Kenny tried to pull him out of a van, Kenny looked genuinely hurt. We didn't see that incident on-camera, and I wonder if there's any truth at all to Lee's accusation.
I'll tell you one thing, if I were Lee and I heard Kenny laughing maniacally like that as he approached me, I'd be shaking in my poop-filled boots. You wanted aggressive, you're gonna get aggressive.
But not too aggressive. I would bet $20 that the resolution will be anticlimactic. But we'll find out tomorrow.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.